Saturday, 18 April 2009
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Why Is My BF Active on Dating Sites?
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years. We've always been close, live together, etc. But some days he can be distant - I mean, we would be in the same house, but we would be doing our own thing and just go off to bed, then just like that another day passes by. It doesn't happen often and when it does, it only lasts on and off for about a week.I later found out that he's been active on the dating/personal sites that he has accounts with. I don't know if he's bored and just browsing or really want out of this relationship because nothing has really gone wrong. W e don't argue a lot and he's always with me every night. No hidden phone calls, no drastic change in appearance or anything like that.
But why is he recently active on the dating sites?
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Comments (17)
How recent is it?
Maybe he's just bored. I dunno. I think if he was on the sites to actively get with someone else then you would have seen signs already.
But maybe he's like me. I have a dating site account but its mostly just to meet new people. Not necessarily to go out or anything.
He's looking at his other options, is what it sounds like. Talk to him about it, though.
Yeah, you've got a SUPER healthy relationship. Lets run through this:
Your SO sometimes acts distant. No mention as to why, or if you've even discussed this with him. Sounds like a big fat no.
Using that as a launch point, you mention that "[You] later found out that he's been active on the dating/personal sites that he has accounts with." in an attempt to link the two together. But why would you talk to him about this when you can't even ask him why he's being so distant? Why would you ever express concern for something such as this to him when you can't express concern for the smaller things?
Nobody here(well, hopefully) is your significant other, so none of us can answer your question. Maybe you should actually ask him and, y'know, communicate, rather than relying on an internet blog filled with people that don't know you or him?
Expecting people online to be able to correctly infer why your boyfriend is on dating sites from one personal anecdote is absurd. You don't even make any mention of when his activity started!
Talk with HIM, not strangers on the internet. Your relationship is not with us. Even if he means so much to you, and you mean so much to him, communication is still so important.
Just because you two don't fight , and hes with you every night .. doesn't mean he is happy with the relationship
If i were you i would talk to him about it .. because he might be looking for something else.
i feel like this sort of answers itself.
i mean, how many reasons can there be for being ACTIVE on a DATING site?
Why don't you ask him?
I'm not really sure why Datingish is chock-full of these questions that nobody in the audience could ever feasibly answer, since we are not the person in question. I have no idea what your boyfriend is up to, all I can do is assume, which is the worst kind of basis for any sort of advice. My point?
TALK. TO. HIM.
It could be that he's zoning out of the relationship and need some excitement in his life (from meeting people on the dating sites) or he's looking for a new companion. We don't really know for sure but I do know that if someone loves and care for you, he won't be "active" on a "dating site." Instead, he would be by your side trying to make you happy and interest and wanting to spend more time with you.
I was on a couple dating sites while I was with my boyfriend even though I had no intention of getting together with anyone on the sites. I was new to the "old creepy ugly men hitting on you" experience, so those dating sites provided me with that amusement. Also, it's just kind of a girl thing I think...I like posting pictures of myself and seeing what kind of feedback I can get on those sites.
I loved my boyfriend and most definitely didn't think anything was lacking in our relationship.
However, you might want to take into account the fact that he's a guy (or it might not really matter) since guys are always the ones chasing after girls on online dating sites. I didn't have to do any chasing, I just watched as some guys chased me.
Maybe he's bored, and maybe he doesn't want to be alone for even a second if the relationship doesn't last. Is he being distant, or are you just allowing him to do so? I hope it doesn't sound like I'm pinning the blame on you, I just mean that maybe all this down time is really dulling out his life. Talk to him about why he's been distant, and then talk to him about the dating sites. Small steps. Good luck!
It sounds like he wants out.
Talk to him.
@nimbusthedragon@xanga - I second this.
he's cybering with me and telling me all about his wildest fantasies! just kidding
umm...sounds like your daily life is getting too routine and predictable or boring so he is looking out for other options if available.
Talk to him about it. We can only guess.
@nimbusthedragon@xanga - i think its because we know the answer and what we should do deep inside, but we want to know what others think so we dont feel stupid and close minded when approaching a SO with bullshit.
my boyfriend does the same thing. but he doesnt act on it. how do i know? i asked him, and threatened to leave.=]
trying going out or something, surprise him. go to the movies, dinner, something!!
Stop. Don't start assuming things.
Just ask him. Talk to him. Find out what he has to say. That's it. We all cannot sit here and act like we know what he thinking or what his intentions are... and we shouldn't.
If you are curious, worried, angry... talk to him. Especially if you have a "close" relationship.
Mayeb he's getting bored & looking for a new girl?