Saturday, 18 April 2009

• In Love with Two Men, Part I

  Right now my life is in a situation you will only encounter in a movie. I am in love with two men and faced with a choice, a choice I cannot make.

  My life was perfect; I was madly in love with my perfect man. He was everything in my eyes, I couldn't have and didn't want more. I was thinking about marriage and children; he has met my entire family and they all adore him. It came to the point that my mother actually asked me to marry him and I told her "maybe"...and that's big coming from a person who, before this point, thought that marriage and children = the end. I could see my entire life planned ahead of me with this guy. He fits my every single criterion of a perfect man and husband. He is incredibly smart, graduating from London School of Economics, already with a job lined up that will pay great money. He is a very attractive guy - absolutely amazing body, cute face. To add to all of that, he has an incredible personality; he's one of the nicest people I have ever met - he is nice to absolutely everyone; I don't think I have ever heard him being mean. 
  

  We are completely different, though... he is an extremely nice person with core values and morals, he has immense amounts of self control and wisdom. He always makes the right decisions and the best choices. I, on the other hand, am a complete psycho. I have no self control, I party till I drop dead, I don't think about consequences of my actions, I take risks, I am spontaneous, I am a bitch and I don't know when to stop.  Our being so different is the reason we work so well. I excite his life, bring fun things into it; we party together, get fucked up together and he keeps me grounded, tells me when to stop and when I need to do my work.  Without him, I go completely insane. He works for me, he makes me into a better person.  We planned our entire summer; we are going to travel around go back home together, go to Ibiza, Amsterdam, party with our friends and then come back to London, move in together. 

  He is going to work and I'm going to continue university; we are going to share an apartment with his and my best friends because we all get along great and have great times together. Lying in bed with his was the perfect place to be; I didn't need anyone else, food or money; the world could have stopped there and then, everyone could have died and I wouldn't care because we were together in each other's arms.

  I got a job offer one day to work for an events company as a promoter for a club night and work nights as well. I've been doing this ever since I moved to London, so a lot of promoters and promo companies know me. I got a message on Facebook from a manager saying he wants me on his team as he is creating a badass team and knows I am good. I agreed - why not, it's always fun and it was an opportunity to do a new night and have fun.  James is the manager of this company, quite a cool guy, typical club promoter, crowds of girls always running after him, very popular, crazy, fun, party animal. After the first night of working for the launch of the event, I realized that James is slightly different from the average event manager, even though just as vain and cocky as all of them are (they have to be to be good at their job) he was genuinely a nice person. He gave me a big thank you after my shift and said he really appreciated my help and that I was there. That is the kind of thing you don't usually get from event managers towards their staff. Their staff is their staff; reps are the lowest on the pyramid of club promoters.
  

  James and I talked sometimes on Facebook, usually starting with something work related then progressing in general nonsense banter and joking around. He appeared to be a cool guy who was fun to talk to, got my sense of humor and partied like I do. I wasn't attracted to him and never even considered even thinking of him in a romantic or sexual way. James was just James - funny event manager guy.

  A friend of mine came to visit me from the US, and when she came, we decided that we absolutely had to go out and party London style. There was a party on at Penthouse Club, which was run by one of the event managers that works for the same promo company as J and I do. I texted James, saying let's go out to party tonight; it was 1 a.m., way too late for UK clubs, but we got our shit together and went to party. At Penthouse we were dancing, having fun, drinking immense amounts of alcohol, etc. We got on very well, socialized with everyone, partied with other promoters and DJs in the VIP, talked, laughed, danced.  Had an amazing night.
  

  At the end of it all, James ended up going back to my hall where the party continued. Leaving out irrelevant details, he ended up confessing to me that he thinks that I am an amazing person and so much fun and one of the only females he has met that he has enjoyed talking to so much. He kissed me; I pulled away because I had my perfect man and my perfect relationship and I didn't want to ruin it with something stupid.
  

  He kissed me again - this time I let him - and that's when my entire perfect world with my perfect man collapsed. I cried and said, "you ruined my perfect life, I can't do this."

  Look for Part II tomorrow!
  

  • 12:01 PM
  • 1522 Views
  • 60 eProps
  • 33 Comments