Friday, 17 April 2009

  • One Picture Left of Me And My Ex-BF

    Before my first boyfriend and I broke up about a year and a half ago, I made him a secret scrapbook I'd been working on from the first day we dated until the end. I spent hours on it each weekend filling it with our most precious memories - pictures of us laughing and stories of the dates we went on together.

    I never told him about the book, though, because I wanted to give it to him for our sixth month anniversary. Today he doesn't know it exist, and I know that it doesn't exist either because I tore it up. However, I kept it for a few months before throwing it out until I knew I didn't have feelings for him any longer.

    The other day I was flipping through my photo album, and I came across a picture of the two of us. I think this is the only trace of evidence that could prove that we dated. All the messages I received from him has been deleted. All the stories and movie tickets that I have kept have been destroyed. And there is this one picture left. We aren't really close friends anymore, so I threw it out.

    At the moment, I have a bear sitting on my shelf that says "You make me smile" from my last BF. I'm thinking of giving it away. I probably will in the near future, 'cause he's kind of a dick and anything that reminds me of him is soooo history.

    What do you guys do? Do you throw pictures/presents of your previous SOs away or keep them? Are there any conditions that would make you keep them? 

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Comments (64)

  • raiderjester@xanga

    when I parted ways with my last ex, it was on good terms, so I didn't do anything to the pictures of her. However, when one of my exes ended up cheating on me and such, I immediately tore up all the pictures I had; they just hurt too much.
  • Jeuno@xanga

    i've had 3 serious relationships in the past decade.
    the first was my first boyfriend. we broke up and didn't talk for months but i didn't even bother getting rid of anything that reminded me of him and we reconnected and then became super good friends so that was okay.
    the next was a year and a half  relationship. i didn't really throw the things out right away. first, i put them in the back of my closet and then slowly over time i either burned the paper when i was mad and the stuffed animals and such are up in my attic and have not been seen for a few years.
    the last boyfriend i had, we dated for 3 years and had been "friends" for 12. he broke up with me, didn't give me a reason and then stopped talking to me and is an immature jerk.
    he broke up with me after school.
    the second i got home (while still sobbing) i wripped everything down from my room and threw out/destroyed ALL of it. It was gone and non existent within an hour.
    i've never truly deleted someone before him.
    although i think it was a good thing because it still hurts to have to see him in the hallways at school and have him quickly turn away and pretend to not know me.
    so yeah.
  • ILackOneVeryEpicYOU@xanga
    Why bother to keep them? It's unfair to you. It's called a "breakup" for a reason.. It's not supposed to keep you two together forever. Sure, love was great while it lasted.. but it didn't. Harsh.. but undeniable.
  • Angelina_Everlong@xanga

    After the relationship is over and he has his stuff back, I put the memories in a box so I won't see them unless I need to cry or something.  If there's something I just really like (after the feelings and associations are gone), I keep it.  The rest of the memory box things are always thrown out.  But most recently I did a super bitch (super awesome) move and gave back all the things that weren't even his.  Just to let him know I'm totally over what he did to me and totally over him.
  • Roadlesstaken@xanga

    I do the boring old shoebox in the drawer thing.  I don't wanna see that stuff again but I also feel like it would be waste to throw it away, so it's stuck in limbo haha
  • ScarletMoth@xanga

    i keep them.  i try not to have hard feelings over relationships... i wear jewelry my old bf gave me, i mean, it was a gift and i appreciate it even if i no longer feel that way.
  • anonymous

    Keep them. If they seem painful now, put them in a box and forget about them. If, ten years down the road, you become friends, they'll just mean something different. If you don't, they'll still mean something to you: either evidence of you having moved on, or just happy memories.
  • spanz@xanga

    We parted on bad terms. He moved away to the opposite coast & hasn't called for the past five months (we dated for two years). He gave me a lot of things & always did/made something special for me on our one year anniversaries, valentine's days, birthdays, & just randomly. So, there was A LOT of things just lying around that was given to me by him. It got to the point where I hated going to my room because I would see him everywhere I went. So, I took a cardboard box, threw in the things that I thought meant the most to me (everything did... I just made myself believe it) & either gave the rest away or threw it out. I kept all of the pictures & decided to give the necklace he bought me to him the next time I will see him.
    It's only been five months, almost six, since we broke up, so I'M not entirely over it but I know someday I'll know that my love for him has completely died out. And, that day I will gather up the courage to give all of things in that box to the charity, throw the pictures away, and throw the rest out as my last option. He was my first love & his gifts/memories were great while they lasted, but they have to go someday, right?

  • jeezshoua@xanga

    I used to keep things from my exes (teddy bears, pictures, letters, etc) but once we broke up, they also went away.  The things that I only really kept was jewelries that they bought me that was still in good use.
  • BoxesOfRoxes@xanga

    I have no soul, so presents and pictures don't bother me.  I still keep around stuffed animals and a melon baller, and I throw away anything on paper. =\
    However after my first serious break up I gave a box of stuff (i kept a shoebox of stuff during our relationship) to my friend because she didn't want me to throw it away.
  • justXforXyou_beautiful@xanga

    Hmm I think I still have some things from my first ex-boyfriend, but that's because it was when we were both young and it was just a cute, innocent relationship with no hard feelings when we split ways, and we were and still are friends soooo...
  • ILackOneVeryEpicYOU@xanga
    @THE anonymous person- Now you're trying to prove my opinions wrong lol. (If you're the one on Mancouch.)
  • C1NDY_j@xanga

    i think i kept things from my previous relationship a little too long. i just went through them end of last year and i've been with my current SO for 2 1/2 years. we live together too so he used to see them just laying around.. all the pictures of us together, i cut every part of him out and kept me :) i still have a braclet my ex long long long time ago gave me. i don't wanna throw it out because it has my name on it but i don't wear it because it reminds me of him.. eh.
  • Southeast_Beauty@xanga

    I have kept everything so far: the pictures, the gifts, old notes/messages, etc. I'm a pack rat and a sentimental fool, so it's hard for me to throw anything away in general especially when it has so much sentimental values. Eventually, though, I will put everything in one box and put it away. There's one particular picture of me and him that I'm still attached to, which I will never throw away.
  • TruthNeverTold@xanga

    I'm currently in my second serious relationship, and I deleted/got rid of everything from my ex except a few books we traded on my shelves. The bracelet he gave me for Christmas? I still haven't decided what to do with it.
  • AnonymousBlonde@xanga

    I burn things once I've moved on.  I find to be very cleansing, a sort of "rebirth," if you will.

    I only keep practical items (like sweatshirts), and only in the case that there aren't any strong memories tied to it.  The only thing I've ever saved that had significant meaning was the engagement ring I received from one of my exes.
  • anea_shark@xanga

    Well, I'm kind of a bitch. I gave some of his clothes and stuffed animals away and then threw away A LOT. I mean, pretty much everything. That's just me though.
  • waste_my_time_x7@xanga

    i hide it all. i dont want to get rid of it, and i dont want to see it [at least not soon] so i hide it. when i do find something it usually makes me smile more than it makes me sad though. by then im usually over it and just like to remember :]
  • JazzedUpArcher@xanga

    I can see how throwing things away might symbolize that a person has moved on, but I've kept all of the things I've gotten as gifts/pictures of me and my ex. 

    I kind of look at it like, I had really great times when I was with this person, and once the hurt is gone, the pictures/gifts are generally good things to look back on when I come across a stray photo or two. It's bittersweet, because I don't really talk to my ex anymore since they moved, but they were still a small part of my life that I don't feel the need to erase completely. 
  • se7en_storey_reason@xanga

    ...memories are nice, but that's all they are.
  • spidergrass@xanga

    I keep pictures. I don't get why you would throw them away...it's good to take them out every so often and be like "aw, remember when I dated him? he was cool".
    My mom has a picture of me and my ex-boyfriend up on the back of our piano though, it kind of annoys me that she has it out because I think that's kind of weird, but she thinks it's cute.
  • forever_musing@xanga

    I've only had one serious relationship before my current one, and I still have some of the things that he gave me (which for over 15 years of friendship and over a year of dating is very little) I have a couple of letters he had written throughout our lives and some of the things he gave me. I really only deleted our messages recently. He dumped me over a year ago. I am currently engaged now, so I hope I've moved on.
    I still have dreams with him in them though, I suppose it's because he was such a huge part of my life throughout most of it.
  • HelloDenise90@xanga

    ha,while cleaning out my room a few months back..i came across my prom pictures & started cutting out my ex from each & every one of them.my mom & sisters would tell me i shouldn't have done that because it's good to have memories in the future but honestly,i just wanted to get rid of him for good.


    i had those prom pictures on my bulletin board & i couldn't stand waking up to see his ugly face every morning so i had to do something about it & i did!
  • kuro_kokoro@xanga

    i keep them. i dont HAVE THEM OUT. but things like a stuffed animal i put them out cause its a piece of item that brings back good feelings and memories. and when i remember my ex... i dont think about the bad stuff necessarily. there were awesome memories involved too. i guess thats when it shows youre really over it. the whole having control of the situation.
  • wenDiies@xanga

    @ILackOneVeryEpicYOU@xanga -  thats not directed to me is it :S lol?

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