Thursday, 16 April 2009
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Seeing Exes in My Dreams, WTF?!
Lately I've been having dreams that involve seeing two of my three exes (more specifically, my first one - infrequently - and my most recent ex - much more frequently). The funny thing is that nothing with feelings or sexualness comes up in these dreams. I just happen to see them in my dreams or I talk to them.
My first ex is a friend from high school. We're usually close friends, and that's how it always will be from now on: just friends. Sometimes he does things to piss me off, which reminds me why I broke up with him in the first place. I do wish the best for him, but at times, I feel like the only thing we've got going for our friendship is that three of our friends were killed in a car accident four years ago.
It's like he, two other friends and I are the only ones that were left of our group of friends. So I feel like we need to stay friends because of this tragic accident - we've both moved on from it (and our relationship) but it will always be remembered. In any case, I have no feelings for him whatsoever. His faults remind me that I do NOT want to be with him ever again.
My most recent ex was a mistake. We met in college, started to date (stupidly) and broke up six months later. What didn't work with this one was that we were both very different, b oth religiously and politically (he was a hardcore Christian republican and I'm a hardcore Agnostic democrat). We fought A LOT, but somehow his schizophrenic personality of hating and loving me always reeled me back in. Even after we broke up, he always wanted me back.
Finally, after three months, I shut him out of my life for good. I have so much anger built up from him it makes me wonder if I really am over him. I KNOW I don't want to be with him ever again, but I realize it isn't fair to be mad at him because it was my choice to endure a dead-end relationship.
Either way, it pisses me off that I am seeing them in my dreams regardless, because I have a boyfriend now who I'd like to marry someday. I've been through my share of boyfriends and feel like this guy is the one - he and I were friends for four years prior to dating, and I seriously could not be happier.
I am quite an insecure person, but it is something I am working on since starting to date him. I feel like he inspires me to be the best I can be. And because I do get insecure at times, it makes me question my current relationship even though I have absolutely nothing to worry about. I worry about the smallest things, even though I have a perfectly good relationship right now. My exes are in the past; why can't I just forget about them?
Why do I keep seeing my exes in my dreams? Am I really over them? Or am I just overanalyzing?
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- From: DarkButtercup94@xanga
- Name: DarkButtercup94
- About Me: 22 year old female that just graduated college. Working a 6-month internship in GIS (Geographic Information Systems), job seeking and hope to find a permanent GIS job by the end of July. In a relationship with my best friend, things are amazing. I like rock metal music and going to rock concerts. My favorite band is Sevendust. I enjoy traveling and road trips. I am not like most women out there, I have more guy friends than I do girl friends. Sometimes I'm girly, quite a bit of the time I'm tomboy. I grew up Wisconsinite, proud of being one. Want to know more, just ask.
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Comments (25)
Well, you can't control who you dream about. I once dreamt about 3 of my high school alumni classmates as girlfriends.
This happened to me! I kept dreaming about a particular ex. While I took it as a sign to contact him (and we dated after I acted on that sign) I soon found out it was NOT a sign and it ended badly(he is crazy).
It tortured me though. I went to bed thinking "please dont let me dream about him." Eventually they stopped. I figure its your subconscience. Maybe you have them on your mind and don't even know it. Little things trigger it (a smell or sound) so who knows. But Im sure your completely over them.
I hope the dreams stop for you soon though! (in fact Im sure they will) :)
probably overanalyzing. i really liked this though. nice post.
I had a dream about an ex once. I still remember it clearly. He told me he still loved me. I could tell he really meant it. And I said, "I'm sorry." I remember really meaning that, too.
It's one of my favorite dreams. It made me realize I was over it.
That's happened to me a few times!!!!! It could just be you sorting things out in your sleep. I don't really think dreams mean anything so whenever I had a dream about an ex they were probably mentioned during the day. If you feel like you're over him then you could be but if you feel like you're not then you may not be.
I *loathe* seeing exes in dreams/nightmares. Blargh!!!!
I had a dream about four of my exes.
First one, I dreamed that he called me and told me he loved me on the phone. I started crying (in the dream).
The second and third one, I dreamed about them being with our mutual friends hanging out together.
The last one, I dreamed about him but I couldn't recall the dream. All I remembered was I woke up and I had all these feelings that I used to have for him all over me.
I don't think it means anything. You can't help who or what you dream about and sometimes, your exes are just thrown in there for no particular reasons.
Thats happened to me too, don't worry about it too much,it probably just means that they are in your subconcious - which is deep in your mind so its not "on the surface" so forget about it and just relax, its only a dream after all!
I dream about people from my past all the time, and I don't think it means much. Just that they happened to be in my dream. I think you're overanalyzing it.
I think you're overanalyzing.
Maybe they're coming up because you're insecure, and they're mental "reminders" of things gone wrong. try not to take them very seriously, because it'll cause problems where they shouldn't. Also, because it seems like you're in such a committed relationship, it's possible that the exes are showing up to encourage you to poke holes in it, accidently sabotage yourself.
If you want to look at it this way, you sometimes have to remember your past to look into the future :)
Ya know... don't worry about it so much. I see my ex's regularly.
Can't control what goes on in the subconscious, can ya?
Your dreams piece together parts of your memories to create something bizarre. In reality, most dreams are either something you imagined, experienced, or saw before. Just don't let it get to you. I dreamed a lot about my ex for a while.
ahhh i know what you mean!! i have dreams of my ex too. for a lil while, i was having those type of dreams often but not anymore.. although i did have a dream about my ex on saturday. in my dream, i was leaving my SO to go back with him o.O but at the end of my dream, my SO got me to stay :D (this makes me wonder if it's some kind of inner reaction to me being upset with something my current SO did before going to bed.. although i really don't recall him doing anything to upset me that night)
anyways, just like you, i KNOW i don't want to be with him again but i used to wonder if i subconsciously missed him.
i really think it's just random or maybe it's... oh i don't know.
it really does seem like you're over your exes though so don't worry too much about those dreams. good luck with your boyfriend! :)
lately i've been dreaming about my ex, too! same as you, nothing intimate or anything. i don't get it. i'm over him, and i love my current boyfriend dearly! dreams are weird like that
weird i've never dreamt about an ex or anything.
I totally wish I could help, because I had to deal with this -- well over three years after my last breakup. I used to dream about my ex a LOT, like more than three times a week.
What I've been doing is literally saying out loud, "I will not dream about ______ tonight."
It seems to work, so maybe it'll help. Good luck dear. <3
OMG i dated this dude in college for only about 3 months, and was really into him at the time ... but i got WAY over him, after i realized he was really kind of a selfish ass. when i started dating the guy im with now, whom i truly love and have been best friends with for 5 years, i'd have these weird dreams where i was being driven somewhere and the driver would turn around and
TA DAH .. my ex.
except he had this crazy nerd voice and i would think ... ("SOO glad i didnt tap that ... ")
Wow, I'm in your exact situation,
My boyfriend now, I've known him for 4 years, and we're now dating, and It's the happiest I've ever been in forever! :D
& I believe that the dreams. If you're having them. Then they're for a reason.
Sometimes you dream the last thing you were thinking about, or whats been on your mind lately.
Nonetheless, you can't control what you dream about
i believe, you're OVER them.
But NOT OVER, what happened in the relationship.
...lol just realized my comment wasnt helpful at all. well. i hope somebody found it amusing. or forgets that i said anything.
I think that because you are so set on this guy you are currently with you are dreaming of past boyfriends because it helps to analyze the past before you make executive descisions on the future. If you want to have a future with this current guy it is probably a good thing you are looking back on what has and has not worked in past relationships and cross apply those qualities to your current SO.
In addition, I think your honestly getting worked up over nothing. There is absoutley nothing wrong with thinking about the past because the reality is that it happened--what matters is where you go from there and from what I understand you are happy with this current guy and that is all that matters
Good Luck with it all!
Dreams only mean something if you want them to. There are different theories as to why things happen in our dreams. I like to believe the one that states that dreams are fragments of our long-term and short-term memory and that during sleep, our mind arranges, categorizes, and basically runs through all these different "files", resulting in a jumbled confusing vision of random or recent events/people.
I am a married woman of three years who still dreams about her ex boyfriends and/or crushes. I always wonder why I dream about them, but I create my own understanding of why and I continue with my regular life. I think the reason why we dream about certain people is because we have met them; at one point of time they were in our lives. It's as simple as that. No, it's not because you're not over them. You said yourself you know you can't see yourself with these men. And don't double guess yourself, trust your feelings. Trust yourself. I think that may be a reason for your insecurity as well -- not trusting yourself. Take pride in who you are because there is no one else in this world like you -- there can only be one you. Those who truly love you will love you for whatever you are; that's the way love should be.
Best wishes :)
i see my exes in my dreams all the time! and the guys that i like, sometime i wonder.. what does this mean'?
Seeing your exes in your dreams means you will become very wealthy in 15-20 years, your friends will love you, your family will adore you, and you will have 3-7 children.
i've hasd dreams about my exes before. I used to obsess over what it meant. Could i be subconsciously wanting them back? or what. just let it go.