Thursday, 16 April 2009
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Dear Dr. Datingish: Are You Supposed To Plan A First Kiss?
So I'm 14 years old and still haven't had my first kiss yet, but I've dated a couple of guys before. Anyway, my boyfriend "Anthony" and I have been dating for one month already, and he told me probably five times that he wants to kiss me.
I really like this guy; I think I might even be in love with him, and I do want to kiss him. So today while we were texting, he asked me if I wanted to kiss him. I said yeah, and he asked me when and where. I didn't know what to say, so I just said I didn't know. He told me we should kiss after school next Monday under the tree in front of the school.
Is it normal to plan out your first kiss, or is it supposed to just happen magically? Or am I just making this a big deal? I need help before it's too late!
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Comments (37)
It doesn't really matter if you plan it or not. There's not a way it's "supposed" to be.
I think it would be less nerve wracking if there wasn't a plan, and it just happened spontaneously. That way you wouldn't think about it all day on Monday and worry about your breath, hair, whatever.
Or, if you wanted to totally turn the tables, you should randomly kiss him. That would be uberly cute and I'm sure he'd be happily surprised :]
Dating another 14 year old for a month and you're in love with him... O...kay, lol.
& to answer your question, I'd say it just happens. If that was my boyfriend, I wouldn't want him asking when and where we can kiss, because chances are when we're both ready, it will just happen. And I agree, if its planned for Monday, you will probably freak out about how you look & always poppin' a mint just to make sure.
Go with the floooow, if the time is right & you're both ready, it will happen. :)
It's a little unorthodox to plan it, but I've planned out weirder things, and if that's how you feel comfortable, then to each their own. Don't make a big deal about it, it's supposed to be sweet and memorable, not nerve-wracking. Just relax and kiss him when you feel like it.
awww that's so cute! go meet him under the tree next monday!!
yeah i would feel weird if i was in your situation. but i think it's really cool when a guy just kiss you out of nowhere, unexpected but at the same time, you want it to happen.
the guy is just probably shy. like he's afraid that if he kiss you, you probably won't like it.
if you both had never been kissed before, then that's sweet because it's both your first times.
i never really kissed a guy before, nor did i ever went out with anyone before. but you know, you see it in movies.
For me, it just kinda happened. I guess you can plan it to a certain extent (like I want to be kissed on this date or something), but the timing of it is more important. That you can't really plan in advance; just a feeling.
First of all, you're fourteen. Take a chill pill and relax. You got a long way to go before you think you're in love with a guy. I was there too though, so I understand. I'm sure you don't want to hear that, but I'm saying it from experience.
Just go with the flow and let it naturally happen. Doesn't matter either way.
All of my first kisses were.. unplanned, meaning they were spontaneous. I think it's more special that way because it's totally unexpected. I think the most special first kiss I had would be the last first kiss I had.
It was EXTREMELY unplanned. I didn't even imagine it happening because we just weren't there yet, I guess. The subject never came up with him and I, and we were still just hugging and holding hands. Then one night, in the moment, it happened. It was the kind of thing you didn't know was happening until a few seconds before it. That was the most spontaneous first kiss I've ever had, and because it was so unexpected, you get caught off guard and it just makes the moment so magical. When you plan for it, you anticipate what's going to happen, you set expectations, etc. When it's spontaneous, you have no time to expect anything, and you're just experiencing whatever is happening in that moment. And for that, I'd say that was the most memorable and special first kiss I've had.
I can't get over the fact that you're worried about never being kissed at 14. You're a kid! It just blows my mind when I see all these little young kids trying to be adults. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I just can't get over the fact that you're saying this kind of stuff at 14, when you should be enjoying a life without boy drama. Eesh.
i'm not even going to READ the comments
before anyone says
"YOU'RE ONLY 14!!! UR ONLY A KID!!!!!!"
oh shut up.
anyways, don't plan it..it'll be not what you think
so let it be natural.
My first kiss came with a warning, but no specific date or time or location. All my first boyfriend said to me was, "Your first kiss is coming one of these days."
And it just happened one night, and it was great.
I don't think it matters if it's planned or not. Just as long as it means something :)
Mine was planned and I enjoyed it. The part I didn't totally enjoy was the spontaneous element to it, actually xD My boyfriend was a bit overeager and totally forgot it was my first kiss ever ... Wasn't too sure what to do with a tongue moving around in my mouth.. LOL
@immaairheadxl@xanga - i agree with you
i say...give him a peck tomorrow when you guys greet each other.
My first kiss was unplanned and I rather have it that way. If it were planned, I think I'll be too nervous to even go through with it. Let it come naturally but if you already planned it, go for it. If you're still not comfortable with it, give him a peck on the cheek. It's still a kiss after all!
Btw, I was 14 too when I had my first kiss. And 16, when I first fell in love.
The love you have for him now may be different when you're 21 but regardless, it's still love if you believe you love him.
For my first kiss, my then-boyfriend had it planned out, but he didn't tell me. It was actually really cute. I think you should surprise him and randomly kiss him before Monday - that way you're not worrying about it and you can the nerves done with... also, I'm sure you will have many more kisses under your belt before Monday if you surprise him =) Kissing is fun!
Let it be.
You're making such a big deal out of it lol.
You won't realize this now, and I'm sure that you'll deny what I'm saying, but you won't be with him forever or for very long and when you get to be sixteen or older, you'll know that you didn't really love him.
As for the kiss, I say let it happen. If you plan it out, it might feel a little rehearsed and somewhat forced. The kiss will be a lot more exciting if it happens by itself and all that jazz. Spur of the moment, that sort of thing.
hey, it's your first kiss, right? if you want it to be special, don't rush into it nor plan for it...wait for the right moment and it become a precious memory of your youth.
Although you should make your own decision since it is your life...just dont try to grow up too fast, yeah? you got the rest of your life to do the older stuffs compare to the 4 or 5 yrs left of your teen. Take your time.
and remember, only do things because you want to and never because someone else wants you to. Stand your ground.
haha i planned out my first kiss. it was... unexciting.
May I suggest waiting? Â You're so young...
ok, so i'm sure you are totally getting sick of reading most of comments metioning that you're too young. well to be honest, i thought i was in love at 14 myself. my only real advice is don't let yourself get in too deep. you have the rest of your life to think you're falling in love...so finally about the kiss: my first kiss was totally unplanned. My senior boyfriend just told me to wait for a kiss, and he surprised me with it. I loved every second of it. Just don't worry about everything. It will all come together i promise. And if your first kiss doesn't really go well, don't freak out about it....you'll have many other kisses. I think spontaneity is the best way to go b/c otherwise you're freaking out too much thinking about it and you get too nervous. Just breathe, you have the rest of your life....this is only the beginning.
Honestly, I don't think it really matters if it's planned or not. The only thing that matters about the first kiss is WHO you're kissing with.
Although, I do think unplanned kisses are more romantic. :]
Next time you see him just take a deep breath, exhale, relax, and kiss him.
As for loving him, while you are young love has no age limit. If he makes you happy than enjoy it.
And good luck.
i'm highly doubting youre in love but this is a lesson you must learn yourself. my first kiss just kind of happened. dont over think it or you wont enjoy it
Hahaha this is so cute! Blog about it after! I hope it's sweet or funny!