I'm the kind of person who will tell you what I really think, how I really feel, and probably at some point, end up hurting your feelings. I can't help it. My stomach gets all queasy when I can't tell someone how I really feel or what I'm really thinking. I have this compulsive need to be honest with people. My twin brother (affectionately) calls me a "bitch" for being this kind of person, but I think he's learned to love it. He definitely knows where to go when he needs an honest opinion.
My honesty has been helpful in making my relationships (both platonic and romantic) long lasting and pretty strong. I think the best example of how my honesty has been beneficial to my relationships is with my boyfriend.
In the beginning of our relationship, he had some behaviors that I didn't really like. I confronted him about them, and he realized as we talked about it that it was an attempt to let me know that he really liked me. I told him that it was actually pushing me away. He wasn't offended by my honesty. In fact, he was glad I'd confronted him about the things that bothered me. He wanted me to like him, which I did, and after he stopped doing those little things, I liked him even more :]
And now I have this amazing boyfriend who I'm so happy with. We've been together almost 7 months, and I doubt we would've lasted this long if not for the mutual feeling that we can tell each other anything and everything, no matter what. I even told him when I had a crush on another guy (that has long since faded, thankfully).
How honest would you say you are in your relationships?
Recommend
Comments (49)
I'm the kind of person who would kill myself before lying to my girlfriend or doing something behind her back. Relationships really have no room for dishonesty.
Unless, of course, you're a politician.
Both my beau and I are very honest with each other...
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - Ha, I saw you edit your comment.
@bella_esperanza@xanga - Ha, yeah, I figured someone would call me out and say something about politicians, so I threw that in there.
I believe everyone should always be honest. Especially in a relationship. I would never lie to my boyfriend. And if I were ever lied to, about anything, I'd have to seriously think about whether or not to stay. And most likely, I wouldn't. Simply because relationships are built on trust. Without it, it just can't work.
I am honest about certain things that matter: feelings, what I did last night, and whatnot. But there are other things where I usually just tell the person what they wanna hear because I am not good with confrontation. My friends who are political freaks have these intense opinions and debates over whatever and I just hear them out and go "oh yeah I can see that" a lot! So naturally they all think I agree with all of them...which isin't possible cause they all say and think different things
When it comes to my SO though I show no mercy with my honesty only because someday we may go to the next level and if I lie I may have to eat those words in the future.
I am the same way. I have to be completely honest---all the time. I just always have to say what I'm feeling. Which is why as soon as I realized I liked my boyfriend (he wasn't my boyfriend at the time, obviously---he was a good friend), I HAD to tell him right away because it was eating me up inside. We were so close that there was no way I could not tell him.
And the same when I first realized I loved him. It was within the first few days of us "officially" dating (but we had been friends for awhile and we knew each other really well so it wasn't too weird). I HAD to tell him right away. I just clumsily blurted it out, and I don't regret it.
I've always been very blunt. And I'm bad at keeping secrets anyways because apparently I'm easy to read.
i'm a pretty honest person (some people like to use the word "blunt" about me) by nature. the only time i use to lie in relationships was to myself ("he's not really that bad", "we DO work together", "this relationship will, someday, go somewhere", etc.).
happily, the man i married is also very honest (some people use the word "blunt", haha) by nature. he's helped me be more honest with myself and we're always honest with each other. it's the only way to have a real relationship.
:)
100%
I think im a quite honest person. In relationships i think honesty is a a major key. Sometimes i might lie just to make them feel better, such as those that are called white lies. But apart from them, i don't tend to lie
Very honest b/c he's my best friend right now and with my busy schedule, the only person whom i can count on to always be there for me so its a given that I tell him everything on my mind.
Extremely honest. I cannot stand lying to anyone, even if it hurts. I'll say how I'm feeling, if something feels different in the relationship, etc. And my bf does the same for me.
I am fairly honest with other people. If they hurt my feelings, I tell them as much. But I pick my battles. It won't help the relationship/friendship if the other person knows I hate their haircut/style of clothes, that I think they're a few fries short of a happy meal, or, in the case of a significant other, that I am interested in someone else. The comments on their looks/intelligence would just hurt them for no good purpose and if I knew my SO had a crush on someone else, I think it would make me insecure.
So my rule of thumb: if I know it will hurt the person, I only say it if it is necessary. And I ask myself, if the tables were turned, would I want to know?
I'm like you; far too honest for my own good. Some people appreciate it. Some people hate it.
My boyfriend is somewhere in between, I think. But my sister loves it. In fact, she's not going to even buy her wedding dress unless I'm there to tell her whether it's hideous or beautiful. She says I'm the only one she trusts to tell her the honest-to-god truth, and I've served her well as being her personal shopping assistant in the past (as she calls it). Everyone else says, "Oh, that's nice" to things that are, in reality, far from nice.
I was honest with my ex & he was honest with me, but not at the last days of our relationship. He did stupid shit & got caught. I'd say honesty is a great thing & try to never lie, but honesty can also sometimes kill your relationship. For example, if I told my ex that I had a crush on some other guy, then he would have probably been furious & kicked that guys ass for no apparent reason. I guess it all depends on the guy & the relationship, huh?
Cm ~
I'm that friend who will tell you the truth, no matter how brutal it is. If he's cheating on you, I'll tell you. If he's gonna end up hurting you, I'm not gonna tell you it's gonna be fine. If your hair looks stupid, I'll tell you, or just offer to do it for you.
I'm a bad liar anyways, everything is written on my face. If I'm mad, it shows. Sad, again you can tell. So I always end up saying what's on my mind, what bothers me and so on. It is important to be honest with the other person so they know what hurts you.
I am 100% honest and most people honestly can't take the truth but so what. I feel no need to lie to the people I love even though it may end up hurting their feelings. Sometimes the truth hurts but I believe lies hurt a whole lot more.
I'm honest with the people I trust about everything, sometimes I'm told that I'm too honest.
However, I have lied to a SO in the past, but I won't do that again.
Things to consider before speaking when I am not sure whether speaking is the right thing to do or not. 1.) Is it actually true? - meaning not just something I have heard or guessed at but is it really truth? 2.) Is it kind? - though what I am about to say may be true is saying it going to needlessly hurt someone? 3.) Is it needed? - sometimes even if something is hurtful it may need to be said for the benefit of the people involved or for my own moral well being. ......... In my opinion truth has to be coupled with discretion in order to be a positive thing.
I'm probably 90% honest. I can't possibly tell him he wasn't the best lover I had, now can I? Being the big egotistical person he is, he probably thinks he was my best anyway. LOL.
I'm 100% honest. Lying wouldn't help either of us out.
I'm not 100% flat out open, but I'm definitely honest with my boyfriend. The openness comes with time, and we've been together for about three months. I only bite my tongue when I could possibly hurt someone's feelings, unless of course that's my intention. (:
Honestly, who is going to ADMIT they're NOT honest? Really.