Wednesday, 15 April 2009
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Being Looked Down Upon Because of Who You're Dating
Reader Krista wrote in on our post about dating someone with a physical handicap:I am in a 2 year relationship with a guy who has Muscular Dystrophy and has been in a wheelchair since he was 5 years old. We are so much in love and so happy but my family and friends are constantly giving us hate for being together. I don't understand. We love each other so much. Why does it matter if someone is handicapped or a different color or different sex or hard of hearing, etc. There's no way I would ever second guess our relationship for the physical difficulties but sometimes I wish we had friends in similar situations, so I could have someone to talk to. It is hard on me. But love is hard. I love him so much and am willing to go through whatever it takes to be with him. I just wish other people could see us for what we are. I don't understand why people can be so hateful.
Is anyone else in a similar relationship? Or have comments?
Have you been discriminated against or looked down upon because of who you were dating?
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Comments (48)
yeah, but that was because i was dating a jerk/lazy bum
Asians decided to cause Hell when I was dating a Chinese guy. How lame.
When I was dating my husband, I got a load of crap from people because of our religion differences. One in particular even told me I was going to hell if I married him. I did, anyways, because I love him and I was never the person who cares or try to please others. People can talk and be hateful for who you date but at the end, it's your choice to give in to them or not. You live your life the way you want to. Having your family and friends support you is great but when no one does, it's up to you to stick up to what you believe.
It's shallow to look down upon someone because of a disability that they can't help. If they can't accept both of you for being together, you don't need their support, anyways. Maybe you should make some new friends who would understand your situation and support you.
True beauty is within.
not me. just my 'rents (dad) didn't really approve.
I can't say my situation is anything like hers, but my boyfriend is kind of awkward in social situations. A few of my friends looked down upon me for dating him, but after they got to know him, they liked him :]
I think everyone gets looked down upon from at least one person when they date someone, no matter what.
I wish you the best in your relationship.
If he treats you well, cares about you, loves you, respects you - they should be happy that you have him! You should point out how many relationships have an abusive person in them. How many women die because of that abuse. I mean really, looking down on your relationship because he's disabled? That's just.. pathetic.
I've never been in a similar situation, and I don't think I've been looked down upon due to who I've dated.
Be strong!
And yes, I have.
I have lost 3 close friendships this year because I am in an inter racial relationship.
Just ignore the hate from others, and keep letting your love with your babe grow. (:
anytype of unjust discrimination is wrong, especially when that person has no control over the situation they are in...people need to smarten up and learn how to love equally...there are so many people who are disabled, minorities, ect. who are wonderful people with wonderful personalities/abilities, ect. people need not sell each other short.
Family, especially the members that grew up in a different culture than we did, tend to see only similar racial couples as the norm. Don't worry about it. Your family doesn't always know what's best for you.
Good for you--looking past his disbilities and realizing he is more than what others limit him to be ^_^ I love it!
And I may not be in the same situation but my parents are against my SO because of how poor he is! It's pretty lame actually but my family thinks they are so privelaged when we're really just lucky! whatever, they hate me for it.
I was in a relationship with a girl who had cerebral palsy. She had to use crutches to walk.
We got enough shit for dating since we're both girls.. I think that fact caused people to give us more shit.
People would make fun of my girlfriend and sometimes try to trip her in the hallway. It was very hard.
At the end of the day, you love each other, so that's all that matters. I know that's kind of a cliche thing to say, but think how small this matter would be if you too broke up, that in comparison, the problems you have to put up with are nothing.
Ignore them! You're in love & you're HAPPY, that's all that matters :)
My parents didn't like my ex because he was a year older than me (oh yeh, he was gonna sex me up, right mom & pops? Wrong.) & Because they heard from other parents that he was a player... no, he was a chick-magnet that made no moved on those particular girls because they were not his type and pretty slutty, if you ask me. After the first few dates, the 'rents got used to him & considered him one of their own haha. That's good, 'cause they would see him around for two years =P
It isn't right that people do this, but it happens. I usually end up dating guys a couple of years younger than me and everyone has huge issues with that, I don't plan it, it just happens that way. I like who I like, and if someone doesn't like it then they can deal with because that is there problem. I don't tell them who to date, even if I don't agree with their choice, so don't tell me.
like many of you there are nationalistic/racist jerk in my family and they aren't even my direct family. they think they are the best and superior than others.they are just bunches of depressed old people have no life.
hey sweetie,
no worries..girl.. for as long as both of you love each others, whatever they said..doesnt really matter!! Really..
Your happiness doesnt in their hands.. the matters is about both of u..ya!]
good luck! God bless you..
I'm in a inter racial relationship and gets hard sometimes because we get nasty stares and evil looks for just holding hands in public.
All i can say that you have to follow your heart and do what's best for you.
Of course.
I date guys...I get lip all the time. Screw what they think, I'm going to love who I want.
Be Strong!!!
Who cares what other's think? if your happy, then that's what ONLY matters. My parents gave me SHIT because my boyfriend, now husband is black. I'm korean and you know asian parents...yeah! especially having a baby with him so it took a while for my parents to like him! but in the end, follow what you believe and your heart cause it's your life. you don't have to please anybody but yourself.
If it is true love tell them you don't give a crap what they think, and that they should not be so rude. That is horrible for them to look down on you two being together. Just because he is in a wheel chair does not make him any less human. It really sucks that your family is being so mean.
@TheGreatGreene@xanga - thanks for your comment. sorry to hear you lost 3 friendships this year. i lave lost a lot too. before richie i assumed biracial was the most difficult, now i am unsure. i wish people would be kind!
This is a beautiful story. Keep doing what you're doing and don't ever let anybody tell you how to feel.
I have never been in that situation. But I say, if you love each other and there's no reason you shouldn't be together (abuse, one of you is married to someone else, etc) then you don't need anyone's approval but your own. Yes, it will be hard, but if you really want to be together, I'm sure it will be worth it.
@TakingxOverxMe@xanga - thanks for your comment, I appreciated yours especially since you had it double time. 2 girls and she was as well handicapped. It can be hard to pay attention to your own life especially when so many people are hating you for your happiness.