Tuesday, 14 April 2009
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Promise Rings for Our Anniversary?
Well, I decided that I would be going back home, and lately I've been thinking about my one year anniversary...I'm really excited for it, because the last time I was in a relationship that lasted this long was probably four years ago. But even still, we did nothing, or at least nothing I can remember.Promise rings came into my mind when I was thinking of a present to buy. I've already made my mind up about what present I'm going to make, and I've already bought him things that aren't nearly as special to give during the one year.
I was planning on having dinner either at a fancy restaurant or transforming my backyard into a romantic secluded candlelit dinner thing. I got all excited thinking of decorations and whatnot, but when I think of the food, that's going to be a problem unless I have workers (read: my friends) in the background, haha!
And then the next problem would be conversation. What would we talk about? The food I made? The night? What else we were going to do?
Then I thought of making a speech, having some wine, classy style. I thought of confessing my love/undying faith/some cheesy lines thrown in there...ideas after ideas kept rushing through my mind.
That's when I thought of a promise ring. I would get down on one knee, and ask him to accept it and/or wear it? Maybe on a necklace or wherever.
It would be just as a joke and to make him think i would ask him for his "hand in marriage" and I thought of the most creative/corny lines, to make it seem serious, but cute, funny, and really NOT THAT serious because we're just in college and we don't know what the f*ck's going to happen...Then I was thinking, maybe a promise ring is too much. I don't even know his ring size or what kind I would get...(maybe like something silver/ordinary/simple/plain?) I really like the idea, but then I thought of all these questions and started questioning myself. How would he react? Would he say yes or no?
What are promise rings? Is it meant for two people to have, or one person to give for another to wear? Is it a step before engagement or is it a step to acknowledge that your relationship is on the more serious level?
And now I'm kind of backing out on the idea. I want the night to be a memorable one - romantic, happy, sweet, loving, full of surprises!
But I'm having doubts and trouble. Help! Your experiences, opinions and ideas would be appreciated.
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- From: reminisce
- About Me: I love to write. To express my feelings and thoughts. When I have no one else to turn to. ~ steph to
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Comments (44)
I've always thought that promise rings are like pre-engagement rings.
You better be completely sure about your relationship before giving one out.
Promise rings represent a promise to get engaged in the future--when you're both readier. I think your idea is cute and romantic.
A lot of people think promise rings are like engagement rings.. for the engagement rather than the marriage. I think of them more as acknowledgment that A) Your relationship is in the serious zone B) A way of "promising" that you'll remain together. If I were to get one, I'd view it as a sign of devotion, love, etc.
If it's for a guy, unless he's kind of feminine, I'd say stay away from diamonds. Ha, obviously. Uh, simple is a good idea. Maybe have something engraved on the inside? That'd be cute.
I think it's meant for two people. Usually a couple gets one, and they both wear them. You could get a ring for yourself that matches the one you get for him.
As for ring size, are you kind of close with his parents? I mean, do you know them in general? Maybe you could ask his mom what size ring he wears, it's a possibility that she would know. Or you could bring up some game of 20 questions or something with him. Ask him his favorite color, favorite food, shoe size, ring size, shirt size, etc; kind of like.. to blend in the ring question. o__O;
It's just a promise ring! I don't think he'll say, "Oh hell no" or anything like that. Ask yourself: Do you think he cares for you? If you answer yes, which I think you probably will, then you should feel pretty sure that he's not going to flip out over you bringing out a promise ring at dinner. :P
my boyfriend and I both wear a promise ring now. He gave me mine after six months together and I gave him one at a year and a half. A promise ring is what you make it to me. It's not a promise to marriage even though most people think it is.
We promised to love each other unconditionally and work through whatever God throws at us. We have been together for 2 years now, and are talking about the possibility of engagement but the promise ring doesn't mean the same thing.
He gave me mine around christmas, kinda a sweet home alalbama moment, a surprise in the jewelry store
I gave him his at a fancy dinner and I wrote down nicely what i was promising and what it meant to me. and read that and gave him that so he knew.[the ring was stainless steel and plain, nothing girly]
this is a really exciting step in any relationship, I just hope this advice was helpful
I would say promise rings are like a pre-engagement before the engagement. Though in my experience I have never recieved a promise ring. I'm not much into it; just seems like a waste to me, and I don't want to impose more than my bf has to endure in terms of expensive jewelry.
Promise rings to me have always been a "promise" to get engaged/married. So if you don't really want to marry him, then don't do it because you don't want to scare him away if he's not ready or get him excited and think you want marriage if you really don't.
On our one year we both worked and then had seperate work Christmas parties to attend. After dinner and everything we just went home and hung out, acted like it was any other day. Sure it was special and we exchanged gifts, but it wasn't crazy dramatic and cheesy.
He did give me a promise ring that we just think means that as long as we have it, we'll love each other. Maybe it's a pre-engagement ring. I don't really know to be honest. It's not that big of a deal- I wear it on my right hand every day.
o-O i thought a promise ring was no sex before marriage o_o' that's what my friend told me..
anyways, i thought that's a cute & sweet idea :)
but as in you giving him a promise ring.. it's a new
idea? for girls to give rings to guys but im a little
old fashion :$ i prefer my bf to give one to me :P
depending on the guy also.. some guys would
feel weird for their grlfriends to give them a ring
or the guy may have a super ego o-O
but whatever you do, good lucks& have fun =D
congrats:D
Promise rings are stupid.
It's cute and sweet regardless of what anyone says =]
You're the only one who can decide whether it's "too much" for him. I know my boyfriend would flip if I gave him one...partly because he takes every little thing and over-analyze. I remember after we were together for half a year I asked him to go to Texas to visit my aunt with me--mainly because I wanted to go somewhere warm in the winter--but he was flipping out, thinking "oh no family!!! This means serious deal."
And I view a promise ring as something like "I promise you I'll try my best to make this relationship work"---with the idea that you may very well stay together for life in mind.
For our first anniversary, I made a DVD for him with pictures of our year together. I put a very romantic song in the background, and highlighted all the fun times we had. In the end, I put a little message up to thank him for a wonderful year. I also started writing a journal after our half-year, and on our anniversary, I gave him the journal so he could see how my thoughts about him and us changed over the half year period. A third item was a decorated bottle with 30 super cute/personalized messages in them. I asked him to read one everyday...so that even when we were apart he knew that I was thinking about him =)
He made me a puzzle game with our pictures. In fact, that idea got him started on his itune game creation...now it's on the market and I pouted a little bit because I told him it was supposed to be OUR game...but I guess it's good he's making some money off of it (and at least the two games are not 100% identical so I can still claim MY game, hehe).
i think most guys wud usually freak out to get a promise ring just after 1 yr?.. 1 yr is so short to me.. then again.. i always been in long relationships.. 1 yr for a promise ring just seems too soon.. i wud say after 2-3 yrs..
i always thought promise rings were like a sign of "engaged to be engaged". make sure he doesn't get an intention that's different to the one you meant if you go through with it :)
My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years and we roll our eyes at promise rings. We know better than to make that kind of commitment so soon.
It's really.... totally situational. If he'd be into it, cool. If not, don't. It could scare him away, because they can be a big deal to some people, especially if you practically propose with it.
@Asthma_is_Sexy@xanga - Yes. Correct.
To elaborate; just like anything else, it's the meaning behind a gift that makes it a gift, it's symbology if you will.
If you were to consider marriage, then the engagement ring should be more than enough. If not, then what the hell's another ring gonna do? All it is, is just jewelry. Yes, there's symbology behind a promise ring, but economically it's really more of a waste. Besides, you yourself admit that you don't know what's around that corner, and if it ends, you wasted money and broke your promise.
Don't get one. You love each other, you don't need a promise ring unless you want to get something nice. Get him something he likes and vice versa.
I would say promise rings are POINTLESS! Skip the promise ring and jump into the engagement ring if you're really serious about committing yourself to him. An engagement ring is a symbol of his love for you...a covenant to fully commit loving you and to guard your heart.
My ex gave me a promise ring...to love me, never hurt me, and never leave me. HA! All the promises were broken...what a waste of a ring.
Don't get a guy a ring before he gives you a ring...that's if he plans
to give you a ring at all. For one...it may freak him out and make him
feel obligated to propose to you. Be on the safe side and just
write/tell him your feelings for him. Hallmark cards work just fine.
In all honesty, if you're doubting the idea of a promise ring [granted you're asking Xangans what promise rings mean] then maybe you should re-evaluate your intentions of getting him a promise ring.
be careful those things can create trouble. I personally would never want one.
But if you like that idea....but him a ring from the vending machine and give it to him...so it comes off as special and a joke between u and him instead of serious.
you should give him a promise ring after he has given you one. Usually girls fall for guys faster than the other way around. Let him show you how much he loves and adores you first, and if you feel the same, then go buy him one too. Otherwise, you'll scare him away. Since guys are known to have "commitment phobia", chanes are, he'll feel panick and trapped. It's only been a year. A promise ring is like a pre-engagement ring sorta thing.
I'm in my mid-20s, so if my bf were to give me a ring now, it better be an engagement ring. Promise ring sounds too juvenille for me at this point.
Promise rings, from what I've known them to be throughout these years based on personal life and the people I know, are meant for serious couples who usually plan to get married. It's the pre-engagement ring type thing. If you're not even that serious, don't even bother. Find something else to get him.
I know in my previous long-term relationship of three years, my ex-boyfriend bought me a promise ring for our two year anniversary. At that time, it was as a symbol of his promise to cherish me and be with me, we had had our problems in the past and he wanted to show me how much I meant to him. He made a nice dinner by candlelight, bought me flowers and made my favorite desert. He then moved us downstiars to the fireplace/movie room, with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and sitting on a stool, he said I have something for you. He gave me my card and when I closed the card he pulled out a little box and a letter, he read me the letter and got down on one knee and promised to love me for as long as he could and gave me the ring. It was a beautiful white gold, heart ring and unfortunately we broke up almost a year later. But it was a symbol of his love for me.
If he can take a joke, then by all means, go for it. I do zany stuff like that too, but they know I'm not serious.
Wow, usually it's the guy who gets all hyped up for the anniversaries (the big ones) because they know that their girlfriend is expecting a lot. Promise rings mean a promise to stay committed to the other person forever. To love him/her no matter what. My boyfriend bought me two rings. He didn't present it to me in a big way, just ... "here ... I love you" or something hahahha :)
We didn't celebrate our one and two years as much as I would have wanted to, but hopefully our third year (which is coming up) will be good :)