Tuesday, 14 April 2009
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So...My Friend Accidentally Lost Her Virginity.
My best friend is the type of person who has a multitude of WHAT THE HELL moments in her life, but this one has definitely surpassed all others.So my friend and her boyfriend have been dating about 2.5 years, and because she's opposed to actual intercourse so she can save her virginity for her husband, they've only had dry sex. It's something like one or both of them wear underwear, and her boyfriend just rubs his penis against her or he presses the head against her while he's wearing a condom.
The other night they were doing what they usually do, and it felt different to her. She felt like the head of his penis was pressing harder against her vaginal opening, and it felt better than it usually did. He eventually finished and looked very uncomfortable before he told her that he didn't know if they just had sex. What?!
She asked him what he was talking about, and he admitted to her that while they were having what she thought was dry sex, he had kept pressing harder until his entire penis was inside her (while his boxers were on his penis) because it felt so good.
...
My friend was stunned and confused because she had no idea that his penis had actually entered her. She doesn't know what it means because 1) she didn't know it was happening; 2) she thought it felt good and didn't tell him to stop; and 3) they did it while he was wearing boxers. She doesn't feel like she was raped because she hadn't told him to stop (because she didn't know what was happening) and because she doesn't feel utter disgust and hatred for him, which she thinks rape victims typically feel for their rapists. However, she'll have moments where she'll become angry with him because he did that to her when he knew she didn't want it, and she'll feel remorseful for what happened.
I wish I could give her an answer, but it doesn't make her feel at peace when I tell her that I think that having sex is okay. Did they have sex, and is she a virgin? Is it unfair for her future boyfriends/husband to hold what happened against her? Is it fair for her to tell people that she's a virgin?
P.S. I've already made the small penis jokes that go along with "But I didn't know he was inside me." Turns out he's average-sized, anyways.
P.P.S. Has anyone else ever had a friend who accidentally lost their virginity/had sex and didn't know it?
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- From: nexthorizon@xanga
- Name: Taylor
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Comments (359)
Your friend is a moron for thinking she can get away with "dry sex" while maintaining the illusion that she's somehow saving herself for marriage.
I have never heard it described as "dry sex." That's a new one, for me... As for what constitutes virginity... if you're speaking biologically, have her go see a doctor to be checked out. But otherwise... it honestly depends. Some people see what they were doing as sex... others would not. It's subjective! I think it would come down to how they feel about it, how it is affecting their relationship, and what they're planning to do with whatever information they acquire. Still... interesting post, I've never heard of a story quite like that.
I wish your friend see this and almost kill you :))
that's kinda crazy... one of those had to be there/experience it yourself kinda situations. i guess she's just gotta deal with it. maybe she can become a "born again" virgin if she's really that concerned/sore about it.
ps-- she really couldn't tell that he penetrated (LOL) her and it was her first time? i think she subconsciously liked it and just decided to go with the flow.
LMAO ..she didn't know he was inside her? OMG you usually get that from girls who are too loose with guys who have 3 in penises..Not with girls who are virgins.. LOL... this thing is all so ridiculous.
Just tell her that the sky isn't going to come crashing down b/c she lost her virginity and..if she really wanted to save herself, she shouldn't be having dry sex. LOL saving herself? lol..she really deserves it hahhahah..saving yourselff.. this post made me laugh inside.
LOL, this is actually hilarious. I'm not sure why she's so hung up on it, if they were having "dry sex" for a while now.
Well...can't say I've ever heard that before. I hope she blaims herself equally if she's still upset about it.
I understand "saving it" for marriage, but I don't think it's logical due to situations like this.
"if she really wanted to save herself, she shouldn't be having dry sex"
This^
That's the most bizarre thing I've heard. If he finished inside her though, that's a tad worrying --I mean, it's kind of like having sex with a cloth condom, which does not block fluid. Course, chances of getting pregnant or catching something from that would be low, but she should still get tested.
I'm afraid I have no insight regarding the question of whether she's a virgin or not --I mean, dry sex and "just the tip" hardly count as saving yourself for marriage to begin with.
@Neurotically_Mine@xanga - LOL! too loose + 3 inch penises. sounds like an epic fail.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - I could not have said it better myself. Seriously, DRY sex? She's only kidding herself. Tell her to stop being hypocritical and bite the bullet. She's been having sex for a while now.
Isn't the point of saving yourself for marriage about controlling your lust and keeping your spiritual and emotional virginity more than your physical? If she was going to be doing that, why not just have sex? So her hymen would break. Big deal. That's only a physical symbol of what she had done.
Now I'm not saying it's wrong to have sex before marriage. That's a personal choice. I'm just saying... Isn't your friend a bit hypocritical? I'd be interested to know her real reason for saving herself for marriage.
I just dont understand why shes tripping and why she want to save it for her husband .. how can you think dry sex wont lead her to actual sex?? just tell her its bound to happen especially when they already seen each other naked ... its soo funny how she didnt know he was inside of her LOL
@QuantumStorm@xanga - Agreed.
And this sort of situation ONLY happens with people who agree with that illusion.
PS. Frottage is the technical term for sex without penetration.
Uh, I guess this is unfortunate for her, but how could you honestly not know you're having sex??
Uh... one of them is lying.
His penis was inside her and it felt good WHILE she was a virgin? Whatever she's taking, sign me up!!!
I remember the first time I lost my virginity to my husband and it hurts like hell. Good lord. She must be having A LOT of dry sex that opened her pretty damn good!
*shakes head* If she were serious about the virgin thing-- oh, never mind. She isn't.
as if she wouldn't have known. dry sex is the worst sex in the world i can only put up with it for less than 10 seconds before everything comes off!
and with his boxers on? i dont think that would feel so good!
She's not loose. It's just I'm pretty sure if it slowly was getting in there, little by little she wouldn't of noticed it was all the way in.
Gosh, don't you guys know anything lol
Wow.
I do not know how she could possibly not know! Although I am a virgin, I'm pretty sure I would know...plus, I hear it hurts the first time...
I think she is probably just making this story up to make herself feel better. She knew, she just doesn't want to admit it. I did that for a while with some things I did with my ex. Oh, we didn't really get THAT far (by many of your standards, we did not do much, but I, like your friend, was saving myself, but my whole self -- nothing past kissing, but I did more than that)... Anyway... I don't know...
That's really weird.
I don't think she's really still a virigin
Dumbest thing I've ever heard. Seriously, if she wanted to save herself...she shouldn't have been doing anything. That whole situation was a recipe for disaster. You don't just put yourself into a place where things can go completely wrong and then wonder why they did.
To answer your question, no she isn't a virgin! There was a penis inside her vagina, end of story. It's like saying "oh, I'm still a virgin cause he was wearing a condom." Seriously, how awful to put your boyfriend in that situation...it really should have been all or nothing.
And really, you'd have to be a complete moron to lose your virginity accidentally. That's pretty much impossible. I'm actually getting a headache trying to wrap my brain around this idiocy. Epic fail.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - while i wouldn't have put it so bluntly... yup, that pretty much sums up my view of it.
i can understand her logic and even her desire to stay a virgin, but there's not that much difference between dry sex and sex with a condom, emotionally speaking. and i assume it's the emotional part that she really wanted to save.
people screw up. it's not the end of the world. while she can't get it back (*if* they did have sex), she can still learn from this, and there's always forgiveness, of herself and her partner. in the meantime, i'd go with the obvious and stop with the dry sex.
I think that so very funny. She couldn't feel it, yet she's a virgin and he's average sized. Meanwhile he's supposed to be doing this while wearing underwear, so even cloth didn't help his case any. He's got to be small, or she's just.. not the average sized virgin, I guess.
I agree with QuantumStorm, definitely.
If he was inside of her, she's not a virgin. Then again, she lived with the illusion that she wasn't having sex, so she could probably pretend that she's a virgin and make herself believe that, too.
You say "future husband" like the guy she's with now isn't going to be her husband later on, too.
I don't know, it's all off.
They had sex. She's NO LONGER A VIRGIN. "Fair" is a perspective.
This story has some pretty big flaws. You don't not notice a normal sized penis AND boxers finding it's way in to your vagina.
So, unless she's been playing with horse dildos in her spare time, she noticed and chose not to do anything about that. I don't believe for a second she didn't know.
if she is going to have dry sex she might as well go all the way. Her attempt at staying "pure" is pretty dirty.