Friday, 10 April 2009
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I'm Having Relationship Déjà Vu!
There's this guy who isn't exactly subtle about his interest in me. Before yesterday, we'd never really had a real conversation with each other, and his sudden forwardness caught me off guard. The thing is, he's pursuing me almost the exact same way my most recent ex pursued me, and it's really weirding me out. Here are the similarities between the situation now and the situation back then:1. I'm the rebound girl. And it sucks.
2. We barely really know each other.
3. The guy was a bit too forward. I'm a sucker for compliments, but they both were going a bit overboard with the words and the sickly "I couldn't sleep because I was thinking of you" phrases. (Isn't this going a bit too fast?)
4. The conversations now are eerily similar to the conversations then. (they both mentioned they thought I was Korean - I'm not, and I don't look it, either!)
5. They're both not exactly "my type"...meaning I'm not as physically attracted to them as they are to me.Now, this guy hasn't asked me out yet (I'm really dreading the moment) but he'd given me LOADS of hints already during the 30 minutes that we talked on the phone. I'm not sure if I should give him a chance or just tell him I'm more interested in being friends now...OR if I should wait for him to ask me out, then reject him.
Besides, the fact that our relationship is starting the same way is making me think that maybe it might end the same way my last relationship ended. What's with me attracting these kinds of guys?Do you attract the "I-really-want-you" types as well? Should I give him a chance, stall, or cut him off while it's still tolerable?
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- From: Phwo0osh@xanga
- Name: Athena =]
- About Me: a procrastinator. Just like you., :]
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Comments (13)
haha i feel you. You might just need to tell him you want to be friends straight out.
I don't know if I'd call this a relationship, since it's sort of a one-way deal. If you're so creeped out by him, any positive feelings probably won't escalate. And since you've already figured your relationship might be a bust, anyway, I don't see how giving him a chance could do either of you any good. It might be best to reject him sooner rather than later, but some people find that difficult. If you don't want to blatantly hurt his feelings, you could always subtly mention not wanting a relationship at the moment, or with him...Also, if you're really the rebound as you say, it shouldn't crush him too horribly in the long run (no offense). Good luck!
I think you should stay away from people that are like your ex. There was a reason you broke it off with him, anyway.
If you're not interested, be up front about it ASAP. It will only get worse with time.
If he's not "your type," don't settle for anything less than you want unless you really do like him and want to give him a chance.
If you're not interested, tell him. Don't wait until he asks you then reject him. Be straight forward. Don't waste any of his time or yours.
i'm lost. he really likes you and there's something wrong with that? if you don't like him, why the hell would you even think about saying yes?
So... I'm guessing you don't like him?
If that's the case, tell him flat out you're not interested in a relationship with him.
I think it's best to just call things off as soon as you can to avoid leading him on and getting yourself in too deep. Theres plenty of fish in the sea and I think that there is someone better out there for you.
:)
If you don't like him, don't date him. Likewise, if you definitely don't like him, don't let him think that you do. Do something to show him that he's permanently in the friend zone before he ends up asking you out, that way you can keep a friend and avoid that dreadful moment.
When I attract creeps, they're just weird. They're never so up front about it from the get-go.
just to make sure i've got this clear, you're asking if you should date a guy who:
*is using you as a rebound
*doesn't know you
*creeps you out
*YOU DON'T ACTUALLY LIKE OR ARE ATTRACTED TO
??
so, what's the question again?
i would say the fact he reminds you of your ex, while being a red flag, is a TINY one compared to the other rather large ones you've been waving throughout the rest of your entry.
you should wait until someone comes along that you like so much you can't stand it.
:)
Sounds like you're letting one bad experience stereotype everything. People differ and what starts out as one thing doesn't always mean that it's going to end in that manner.
Your problem is really whether or not you're going to date this guy or not. Give it a shot and see what develops. But, if you're not into him, tell him. Better to let him hear it now (and be cruel if you have to) rather to lead him along and think something big is going to go down.
You're not super attracted to him (not a good idea to start a relationship).
I do attract them because I'm not intimidating but I honestly think they're horny for sex which is why they're so desperate and start saying mushy stuff at the beginning of meeting someone. I tell them straight out but not in a mean way unless they got me to that point.
ive gotten myself into those types of situations twice already too! Where the guy was moving way too fast and gave me compliments that creeped me out. I always told myself to just give it a try, but i would get so turned off and creeped out that i backed out both times & just told them i didnt like them like that! It seems like you dont really like him either, especially if your not that physically attracted to him!