Thursday, 09 April 2009
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My Family's In Financial Trouble And I Can't Tell My BF
Over the last few months, I'd been keeping a big secret from my BF for the following reasons:1) He tends to spaz out (ex.: OMG I HAD NO IDEA WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME)
2) He dives into the situation without knowing the entire story
3) I was trying to finish what was left of my senior year, dealing with the usual high school drama, slaving around in my house to keep it up while my mother was out working her ass off to make enough money for the bills (my older siblings do nothing but bitch and spend the money), cooking, cleaning, paying the bills (YES! I've sent out the bills every month since 6th grade), and basically all the usual "adult" duties.
It's a lot of pressure, and do you really think that I should've "gone to my man" when all he is gonna do is just freak out about it and make me feel worse? I THINK NOT!
For the past 8-10 months, my family has not been able to pay our mortgage because my mom doesn't make enough money - she works for minimum wage and since the government has cut my brother's hours at the post office, we barely have enough to pay for the mortgage...and my lovely bitch of a sister doesn't work but freeloads off of our money. After a few months of not being able to pay for our bills, we received a notice from the bank saying that if we didn't pay X amount of money, our home is gonna get foreclosed and the deadline is next month....
We can't pull out another loan 'cause my mom has bad credit, so I started to work under the table. Nobody is hiring, so I started to do petty manual labor for X amount of money. I would work in the back of someone's yard for hours in the sun, sew for hours and hurt my fingers and walk for hours to find work.
And all my BF could do was ask me why I couldn't open up to him. He'd give me all this BS and he doesn't need to know 'cause I didn't want him to worry and go loco about the situation. I pushed him away 'cause I didn't want him to know; yes, it did hurt me to do it to him, but it's better he didn't know...then his "friend," a VERY catty female, decides to be a chismosa (gossiper), sticks her nose where it shouldn't have been and tells me off.To be continued...
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- From: CobaltKisses@xanga
- Name: Cobalt Kisses
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Comments (17)
Your siblings kind of make me want to gouge my eyes out. The gossiper gets the same response from me. Augh.
i'm sorry about your situation but maybe, you should have mentioned it. like a simple, damn i'm broke, you know? sometimes we judge our actions by our intentions but not the consequences.. i agree with pillowpixes though...
well i can kinda see where he would want to know about that. he's your BF, so i has some tiny right to know things, but then agian that secret isnt really something that is his business.
i think you did the right thing. just tell him, you did't want him to know you were in trouble, and you didn't want him to worry.
im sorry about the situation though. that really sucks :/
did you ever stop and think, maybe he cares about me and wants to know? keeping something that big from him and pushing him away leads me to believe that you don't really see yourself with him long term.
Reminds me of my boyfriend's sister. Makes her mom spend a crap load of money on clothes and etc. when sometimes she doesn't even have money for food. It's annoying.
I really hope you and your family can figure things out. You are being a really good person by helping out so much. If you do not want to tell your boyfriend then don't. Or write him a very descriptive letter so that he gets all of the facts before he freaks out.
Could it be that you don't want him to know about the situation because you're a little embarrassed?
Honestly, I don't think you need to be worrying about what your boyfriend has to say... Your family is in a crisis right now along with so many other people who are in the same situation and I'm sure the last thing on their mind is what their boyfriend has to say. It's entirely on you to decide whether you want to tell him or not, but you shouldn't feel bad because you can't tell him because it is hard to tell someone about a situation like that. But, might I suggest that telling him may release some stress on your end. For someone to just hear you out and probably give you some feedback. If he was a good boyfriend he wouldn't jump down your throat... but try to be there for moral support. I wish you and your family the best of luck during this horrible situation... I'll keep you in my prayers. Good luck.
Let me see if I got this right. You are breaking yourself over to help your family out (I'm proud of you for that, don't know if that means something, but meh) and you can't accept money or help from him because of gossip?If he can't help (IOW, if ALL he'll do is freak out) or he squeals to
that gossiper, then yes you have a right to keep it secret.
However, if he can help you, but you don't want to tell him because he freaks out, making you pushing him back? You are financially fucked Lucifer, swallow your pride and take the help. It's not pretty to eat that dookie sandwich, we've all had to, but you're damaging your relationship with him if you're already barring him from helping you through tough times, damaging his manhood and making him feel worthless. Plus, you're damaging yourself by working WAY too much If he can help you and your family get through, you need all the help he can give. It's not fair that you should have to do everything while he doesn't or can't do anything.
In summary, if he can help you, tell him and take his help. If not, or if him/his friend are prone to gossiping to the neighborhood about it, keep it secret.
You should be able to trust your boyfriend. I'm sure he'd want to do something to help.
If you feel like you can't tell him something that big that's stressing you out that much then you shouldn't be with him.
And someone needs to cunt punt your sister.
Why do you guys let the sister freeload at all? :(
i agree with @Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga,you should be able to share this with your boyfriend. i understand it is your business and not his, but you should be comfortable enough to just let him in. Even if he can't help you financially, he could possibly help you out emotionally...after he spazzes out..lol it sounds like he truly cares or else why would he go and talk about it to someone else? but its really up to you.
that sucks about your sister, maybe when she can't run to you guys for money it'll give her a reality check.
as for the chismosa, screw her, thats probably all she will do is talk shit.
i hope everything works out!
Aw :/.
I still think you should have enough trust to tell your boyfriend about your situation.
And doesn't your bitch-of-a-sister know the situation you're all in? And for your boyfriend's "friend", she needs to mind her business and keep her mouth shut (: . Probably does nothing but talk shit.
Wow that sucks.
Forget that girl. If she's not going to do anything to help your situation she needs to STFU.
You need to tell your boyfriend, if he doesn't help and just bitches at you, you leave him. The gossiper can go stfu, because she has NOTHING to do with this situation and has nothing to offer other than rumors and shitty comments.
As for your family, I think your mom or you should hold a family meeting sometime VERY soon, because if not, then this situation will only get worse and worse. During that family meeting you should distribute the chores and JOBS evenly & try to SAVE money not spend it. They should all try to help it some way or another. If they still don't agree, point out that if they're spending money now, they will not have any in the future AND won't have a place to live in or eat if they continue to do so. They should start to loosen up after that, because it's their loss as well.
I really hope this situation gets better for you.
i think you need to tell your BF what you're going through so he'll understand why you're doing the things you do. it would be unfair for him if you just shrugged him off just like that.. hope everything will be okay. my familly had the same experience a few years ago but we got through it thank God. i know you'll do the same.Â
I really think you should have told your boyfriend about your problems. I mean, if he loves you then it shouldn't matter and he would want to help you with your problem...