Wednesday, 08 April 2009
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Why Did The Guy Who Broke My Heart Block Me?
Four months ago, a guy that had broken my heart almost three years ago decided to add me as a friend again. We used to be on each other's FB, but I deleted him maybe a year ago when I was feeling particularly nonchalant about him. He and I were both seeing other people and I thought it would be best to just delete him because we no longer spoke to one another and I was happy with my current boyfriend. Frankly, part of the cause for deletion was because he was very hard to forget and I didn't want to think about him anymore because I now had a new boyfriend.In a funny twist of fate, immediately after we broke up back in 2006, we somehow ended up not having to see each other for 16 straight months even though we attended the same university and were studying the same program. It worked very well in helping me to get over him; he was the first guy I felt very strongly about.
Four months ago, January, was the first time that we would both be on campus again at the same time after well over a year. On the day prior to the first day of classes, I very unexpectedly received a request on FB, saying he wanted to add me as a friend.
I was so baffled and surprised, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to add him, but instead I took my friend's advice not to add him because of the way he had treated me; he didn't deserve any attention. What's more is that he has a girlfriend and plastered all over his Facebook were their pictures and profile descriptions saying how much he loves his girlfriend.
I wasn't sure why he wanted to add me and subject me to these pictures. We hadn't spoken in ages and I really wasn't expecting to speak to him when we ran into each other campus. So, I rejected it.
Now when I try to search for his profile I can't find it. I know he still has FB because my friend can see his profile.
Why did he block me? Does it mean anything? I can't stop wondering why. I mean, he was the one who tried to add me in the first place, and now he doesn't want me to be able to see him on FB at all? What's up with that?
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Comments (48)
Why are you searching for his profile? If you're over it, who gives a pigeon shit?
girl he was just angry that you didnt add him. stay awayyy he sounds like poison.
I don't know if anyone can really tell you why he blocked you, but I think what you should do, instead of wondering why he did that is to just try & forget about him. It is possible that he is trying to do the same. He might feel guilty about hurting you, and is trying to not have to think about it, or something.
He probably got pissed off that you didn't want to add him and this is his "revenge". I don't see another explication really.
Maybe he really didn't block you. Some people can only be searched after you guys become friends on FB. I have friends like that...their profiles are essentially hidden until they themselves decide to add someone. He decided he wanted to be your friend, and took the first step--that's when you were able to see his profile. But since you rejected it, you won't be able to search for his profile anymore...unless he takes it upon himself to request your friendship again..which, if you rejected him the first time, I highly doubt he'll do it again...
Just don't search for him at all. Maybe he's angry that you didn't accept him, or maybe he's realized that he's better off without you, and you're better off without him. You're both happy with your partners, and if it causes so much heartache to come into contact with one another, you might as well avoid it, because you can. It's probably best if you stop allowing your mind to linger on this topic. I know it's much, much easier said than done, but effort really pays off in the end.
.....you didn't add him. if you cared, why didn't you just accept?
also, his profile may just be made private in a way that you just can't go searching for him like that. amigos-only
Well if you're over it then why does it bother you so much to see he has a girlfriend?
Why are you searching up his profile?
I think (Im trying to see it through his eyes) that if someone I used to date a while ago declined my friend request that maybe (if I was immature enough) I'd think they were being fussy for no reason and block them out of spite. Or think they weren't over the break up and block them out of rationality. lol
You didn't want to be his friend before but now you're looking for his profile? Creeper much? Guess you're not over it after all.
Lawl.
@charm2030 - THIS!
After all this time apart, I'm betting he thought you were both over everything that happened and decided to try and be friends again. I don't think his "revenge" was subjecting you to those pictures. If YOU thought of it as revenge, then you're not nearly as over him as you imply in this post.
I'm seriously doubting that after three years, this is his revenge. What if he was going to try and make amends? To apologize for all the negative things he did? You're attending an institution of higher education, so telling you to "grow up" seems almost overly harsh, but that's exactly what I'm going to do.
GROW UP.
Not everyone is out to get you. Not everyone's intentions are impure and malicious. You're taking advice from a friend rather than thinking for yourself. I understand the need for another's viewpoint, I really do, but you decided not to listen to yourself and to listen to someone who probably saw every negative thing you said, and none of the good you remember.
You missed your chance for now. Live with it. Quit speculating why this person is doing what they are doing, and get your own emotions in order.
This guy sounds like a creep; you're better off without him, and you're only prolonging your agony by continuing to search for him.
@godofthelost@xanga - Dude, that was really harsh and unnecessary
Well, he could have figured that you would be over it, to where seeing pictures of him and his new girlfriend wouldn't bother you. It seems like seeing those pictures bothered you, especially since you said "I wasn't sure why he wanted to add me and subject me to these pictures." That makes it sound like you aren't over it. If you are over it like you seem to think you are, how is he subjecting you to anything? Why would it bother you that he has pictures of him and his girlfriend on his page? It would be very juvenile of him to post those pictures on his facebook simply to spite you.
There's a chance that he didn't block you. Like Charm said, they have things to where he won't pop up in searches. Like someone else said, why are you searching for him since you rejected the invite? By rejecting the invite you imply that you want nothing to do with him, so why are you now looking for him?
Honestly, friends advice is awesome. Advice in general, if meant well, is awesome. But if the advice goes against what you're really wanting to do, in this case accept his invite, ignore the advice. Because now that you have listened to the advice your friend gave you, you're looking for him on facebook and thinking he blocked you. Had you added him and been mature, I'm sure you two could have corresponded like normal acquaintances and you wouldn't be having to ask this question right now.
@pillowpixies@xanga - I agree completely!
@celticlass11@xanga - Which part?
I thought FB was an acronym for something else lol anyway, the reason could be that he is over you and shows off his new gf to make it clear to you that he has moved on & that you should move on, too.
who really cares; if you didn't want to add him then it doesn't matter. personally i think you're sort of a tool if you delete people off your facebook because it's pretty easy to screen out their info if you don't want to see it, and they aaalways find out if you do.
i think it's pretty likely that he realized you checked your facebook often enough and didn't feel like adding him, which he probably just did to be friendly, and then decided the heck with it and blocked you. but who cares, it's done...
also, "subject you to all those pictures"? just get over him already... clearly he's over it!
He's probably angry that you rejected his request, so he decided to have "payback" and be all "fine, then I don't want to be her friend EVER" or something. Or he complained to his girlfriend and she took the initiative to block you from his fb.
Or maybe he deleted facebook?
sounds to me like your the one with the problem, you stated you deleted him first, time to wake up and smell the coffee.
Move on, move on, move on. Seriously.
I know guys who are exactly like this.... ugh.
Am I the only one who doesn't care to add or remove an ex on facebook/myspace after someone breaks up with someone? I still have both of my exes on my facebook and myspace friends list, but I forget they are there because it's just online.
One ex I simply despise. I was thinking about removing him because I hate him so much but I figure it's online and I'll leave him on it...and I'll forget that he's even on my list which I did forget he's there.
Another ex...I don't really care for but I don't hate him...he is still there. I'm surprised they didn't remove me, I bet they think exactly like me: they don't care, it's online.
It's what matters in person that counts to me.
@godofthelost@xanga - Likewise, definitely.
who cares, you made a decision not to see his facebook anyway.