Tuesday, 07 April 2009
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Why Ask For My Number If You're Already Taken?!
Last week, I wrote a post about a guy I like who has the same name as my ex.
While SameNameGuy and I were talking, he mentioned his "girlfriend"; however, I am not convinced he has one, because he made some lame joke that she was imaginary.
Let's assume he does have a GF. Later on in the convo, he asked for my number. Yes, I did give it to him and yes, we do text each other (not 24/7, just a couple of times per day).
A question for the guys: Would you ask for a girl's number if you had a GF?
And for girls: Is it okay for your BF's to ask for other girls' numbers?
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- From: Whiskers
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Comments (49)
Um, no & no.
Asking for someone's number, to me, implies that you have a romantic interest in them & want to call them in order to pursue that interest.
My boyfriend (I just asked him, haha) said he'd never ask for a girl's number, because he has me and he couldn't be happier (aww :P)
And same goes for me. I wouldn't ask for any guy's number, because of the romantic implications that I feel go along with asking for someone's number. Unless it's like, really clear that you just wanna call them for completely platonic reasons, that's totally different.
It depends.. if he's clearly flirting with me as if he were single and asks for my number, it is wrong. But if we've met a few times.. its only polite to keep in touch with people you consider as friends.
I will admit that openly pursuing other girls when you have a girlfriend is shady. However, if you meet someone casually who you hit it off with, by all means. We make judgment calls on a lot of things every day, even in relationships. Knowingly putting yourself in a situation where you feel like you have lost an opportunity for something better solely for the sake of someone else can only instill resentment and antipathy. Deciding that you have met someone better is never wrong. Pursuing a relationship with someone else without telling your SO, however, is wrong.
Well, if he keeps it friendly and lets me know about it... then I guess it's okay.
lulzy topic.
9/10.
@jeffgodofbiskuts@xanga - i agree that you shouldn't give yourself reasons to resent your SO, and even that you shouldn't arbitrarily lock yourself into a relationship just because you've been with this person for x long. however, if you really feel there's something better out there, you probably shouldn't be with the person in the first place.
on the topic, no. i wouldn't do it and i wouldn't be ok with my husband doing it, either. wth would he ask for another woman's # ?!?
:)
No and no.
unacceptable... I'd be pissed if I found out my boyfriend was giving out his number to other girls... ugh. I guess I don't need to worry about that considering I'm single... lol.
nope. I would be mad if I found out that he gave his number out to a girl considering the fact that he tells me he doesn't like talking on the phone. The only person he really calls is me...we would be in trouble if there was no such thing as mobile to mobile!
@follow_home@xanga - I agree to a point. I think that if "there might be someone better" is ever allowed to be a consideration, relationships would never work. Accepting the possibility that there probably is someone better but that the person you are with is all you want is the biggest and hardest part of committed relationships. But accepting a hypothetical is not the same as meeting that hypothetical in the flesh. It is doing your partner a disservice just as much as yourself not to act on that. But, like I said, and as you reasserted, staying with your current SO while this is going on is also wrong.
hm... im sry.. but I dont think that's acceptable.. If he's dating someone else, and if he really likes the girl that he's dating, then he's "cheating" on his gf.... Well, If you really like him, then you can after him, but no one can assure you that he's not going to ask another girl's number when you guys are dating. So it's a risk that you will have to take in the future. And, if he really made everything up, and he has an imaginary girlfriend, then that's just plain weird, why would he make up an imaginary girlfriend and talk about it w/ you.... then tell you she's not real.......
Good luck!
it's wrong if he's getting the # for non-platonic reasons. but i think if he's trying to build a platonic relationship it's completely unreasonable to expect him not to get a #. as i've said before, 50% of the world is the opposite sex...whether or not you want it to happen, your so is gonna talk to someone else of your gender.
Depends on how it was asked... like, if it was amidst flirting then it's not okay because it's probably to do something along those lines: dating! Or if it was just in a relaxed environment to just be friends then that's ok. Girls and boys can be friends :)
I'd knock him silly if he did that (my beau, I mean). And I think it's ridiculous and wrong for a guy who is taken (in a serious relationship) to ask for another girl's number (for him to date).
That's it.
Wow. If I was that guy's girlfriend, I would be annoyed if I found out that he was doing that. It looks like he's flirting with you or is interested in you. If he asked for it in a different context, such as work, it would be ok I guess. My boyfriend only asks for numbers when he NEEDS to contact them for homework or job stuff
And as a side note: if you don't want some of your "friends" to find out your number, don't put it on facebook.
it's only wrong if the person MAKES it wrong.
Meaning, it's only wrong if they are becoming too flirtatious.
& if you're taken, and you kinda like this guy (romantic sense)
don't give your number.
Why are you dumb enough to play into it if its possible he has another girl?
find out if he has a gf. if he won't tell you, then you shouldn't waste your time on him.
if wants to be friends with her, that's fine. but if he wants to date her, then I would rather he wait until we break up to date her.
If I had a GF, I would not ask for a girls phone #.
Kinda a mute point. I've never met a woman willing to give me her real #. I'm not a troll ~~ It must be something else...guess I'm just a friend magnet.
NO to both. not unless if he/she is a business prospect. haha!
maybe she really is imaginary.. or maybe he wants your number for later when they break up. assuming she exists.Â
For networking purposes, sure. I mean. You should probably have the numbers of your lab partners and if one of them is female, I'm not going to have a fit.
Obviously if he's pursuing the girl for less that chivalrous reasons while also having a GF, that's a no-no.
I think this guy is just awkward. It sure sounds like it.
Well, like someone else has said, asking for someones number implies romantic interest. So, okay. Lets say that he's just talking with someone like you and this guy were, and then he asks for her number. Yes, I would have a problem with that. I don't talk to guys and then ask them for their number. It doesn't bother me when he's friends with girls, but if he was asking for their numbers, uh... I wouldn't like it. (Unless it was for an actual reason, like schoolwork or work.)
It depends on the context of what he said as to whether he has a girlfriend or not. I mean, what has he said about this girlfriend? Was it some kind of joke like "I have an awesome girlfriend" followed (later) by saying she's imaginary? He may just be goofy and joking around. Some time when you two are hanging out, ask him how the girlfriend is doing. :)
If they're not his cousins or anyway related to him, no. I wouldn't like it if he asked for their number or give his number out.
No to both questions. It is so not ok for you to be asking about the opposite sex's (someone who is not related) number if you already have SO..that is just so wrong and pretty messed up.