Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FMLToday, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FMLToday, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FMLToday, I went with my girlfriend to the mall. We were looking at jewellery in Zales and she came across the engagement rings. She looks at one and says, "Are you kidding me? That ring is hideous and it's the most expensive one here! Who the fuck would buy that?" Well, that would be me. FMLToday, I was hanging with my boyfriend and when his mom came to pick him up, he introduced me. She talked to me politely and i thought we hit it off very well. As I was walking away I hear her say "That's your new girlfriend? Honey, you could do so much better". FMLyou guys.
they have t-shirts now. I think I want the black FML one.
Comments (17)
lol the firstand second one!!! omg !! hahaha
and the third one i am so sorry for that girl..:S
Aww, #5 sucks.
The last three.. LMFAO.
Ouch! and hilarious at the same time.
LOL. I love the second one.
Ha, I love this site. It always makes my life somehow seem a little bit easier
you know what.
fuck my life. i spent three essays thinking it was due on a certain day; and amazingly, the professors extended the due dates...so while my ass is all blowing everyone off and what the fuck not..
:( RAWR.
LOL @ the first, second, and third stories. XD
Yet again, this makes me feel better about myself.
very entertaining :)
Nothing like FML to feel better about the depressing days... sheesh (esp. #3!)
....eiyaa......
those all suck so bad.
i dont know which is worst.
lmao.
LOL. Hilarious xD
LOL aw haha i like them all ahaha
LOL... My fave is #4.
I go on fml whenever I feel sad or pissed. It really does give you a good laugh (at the expense of other people)... It sucks though, 'cause you read ones that are seriously really sad. ;[
LOL love them