Compliment him regularly. Tell him how important he is to you, and that you will always need him there to be a part of your life. Tell him about what he gives you emotionally and physically. Especially physically... men like that. Just make him feel like he is an important part of your life. Show him he has a purpose with you.

Is he your boyfriend or not? Why do you say he is if it's "ended"? And high school is so easy to finish, he should feel inferior. You don't need to be the academic type. Half my high school consisted of potheads and they all passed and most of them even got into community college.

If you guys don't get along, why waste your time with him? Especially since you said you dated before and it didn't work out, and that your friendship is not pretty. It just sounds like a bad relationship all around. Just leave him.

@black_lie@xanga - That is a bit harsh. You can't judge him for not completing high-school when you don't even know WHY he may have dropped out.

no that won't help either. what he needs is to help himself get out of it, you have no power to help him. try getting him some sort of counseling. maybe that'll help

It's all in his head. If he needs the ego boost right now, it helps to be a student in community college. Maybe if he goes back to school and disciplines himself to get his work done properly, he'll eventually get an associate degree in something and feel better about himself. Overall, diplomas and certificates are just papers saying that you took classes and specialize in certain types of work or knowledge. It has nothing to do with the potential abilities of an individual. Some of the richest and most talented people didn't finish high school. All those papers with our names on them mean nothing if our jobs don't require them. Some companies will hire a person based on their ability to work and their performance with previous jobs rather than by simple papers that almost everyone tries to get these days. "We are the sum of our actions, not our names"

well, it's true you can't fix him. but i do think it might help to sit him down and reassure him that his job, his education, or whatever it is that is making him feel insecure, are not what make him special to you/are not what matters to you.  if you really love him for who he is, tell him this.

tell him all the things you like about him. his personality, how he makes you feel, what he does for you, his character, integrity, etc.   if you don't have a lot to say, then maybe you should rethink the relationship; realize that it might be something he has to work through himself.

Let me start off by saying that you are not the reason he or anyone else feels insecure, do not allow yourself to believe that.  If he has insecurities it is his own fault.  I hope I am not sounding too harsh, but breaking up with him may be what's best for the both of you.  If anything he is only going to bring you down with him.  You stated yourself that he is the only one that can help himself.  Do both of you a favor and move on with your life.  If the relationship hasn't been a bed of roses from the jump start, that should be a sign my dear.  Let go.

jesus.

spare yourself the pain.

Most likely if you were to break up with him, he'd be even more down on himself. He'd probably consider that proof of how "inferior" he is.

The fact of the matter is, you're right. You can't make him see him the way you do. You can't make him think differently about himself. You can't make him change his point of view.

Complimenting him could always boost his self esteem, but that wouldn't necessarily make his point of view change. If I were you, I'd bring him into a calm conversation about it. Tell him that him dropping out of school isn't want makes him inferior or superior; all that means is he didn't want to continue school. Book smarts are great, but if he has common sense, that's much more valuable. I mean really, just sit him down and point out that his thought patterns are ridiculous, and you think of him much differently.

@for___sale@xanga - he is right. Compared to college (I say this at CC still, but not much longer), High School was a breeze in comparison thanks to the no child left behind act.

@black_lie@xanga - Absolutely correct. This doesn't sound like it ended if she's going to keep it all going and he's not going to fucking do anything about it to change himself. It's one thing to feel inferior, which is a bout of depression brought about by oneself when he/she feels that he/she hasn't done anything significant in his or her own life. It's another case in point to BE inferior; especially since he decided to drop out of high school, pretty much boning his job choices and his future.

Poster: You are hurting yourself more than you are hurting him. Get rid of him and hope it gets a message in his head to be more serious and goal oriented in his life. By you being there, you are actually feeding into his pity-party, rather than actually getting him to solve anything.

uh, if he's that broken, then breaking up with him would crush him. :/

First and foremost, y'all in HS: stop drinking.  I am OK with the underage drinking, and the drinking age should be lowered, but that's part of these complicated issues.  He shouldn't be drinking and nor should you.  That would have avoided one situation of supreme embarrassment.

If you stuck by him for four years and not added to his inferiority, then why are you saying he's inferior because of you?  He comes to you for your help; so do you make him feel that he's a glutton for punishment, or him seeking your shoulder is part of his therapy?  Instead of trying to fix him, listen and help guide him.  There are people who want to fix themselves, not that they don't want to be fixed, they just want to take their lives into their own hands.

It takes someone strong to stay with someone who has a weakness.  But if you think you are making things worse by being too involved, then may be this is too difficult for even you.