Thursday, 02 April 2009
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The Comeback Curse: Guys Who Return from Out of Nowhere
I don't know if this is embedded in every guy's DNA, if it's just a coincidence or if I'm just overanalyzing certain situations, but I seriously think I have been struck with the comeback curse. To me, the comeback curse is a point in time where a girl is stress-free when it comes to guys, and then BAM...someone she used to be involved with wants to come back into her life without warning. Things like this always happens to me.
Just recently I had a horrible emotional scar in my life that left me feeling empty. Honestly, I think I used up all of the tears I was allowed to use on this guy; even though I felt empty and almost felt like nothing, I was really sad to let go. Fast forward a month or two and I'm in the stage of the breakup where I just deal with myself. No guys, no drama, no feelings, no hooking up with anyone. I just deal with me and my needs only (this is how I cope with broken hearts). Sure, I still felt like crap but I was getting better as far as moving on goes.
So it's Friday night and I'm out with the girls and my cousin having a couple of shots of Patron with some amaretto sours, which ultimately leaves me feeling nice - not too drunk, but nice. I try to avoid all contact from guys, too, because I don't want to get to know any guy or even spark a conversation with one. It's just too emotional for me when I'm drunk because I start thinking about him. I look down at my phone and a guy friend of mine (not him, thank god) decides he wants to text me and say hi, acting like nothing had happened and no time had passed.
I'm not going to bore you with all the details on what happened with this one yet, but I was just, like, WTF, are you serious?! Just when I forgot about you and just when I'm on the verge of getting over someone else, you decide to barge into my life, my thoughts and act like everything was okay. Here's a little clip of how the convo went. I'm going to call him Dot because the one who broke my heart is "him".
Dot: Waz good pookie
Me: Perdido (means lost one in Spanish)
Dot: KLK mami (KLK = waz good; Mami = a word guys usually use to sort of gas the girls up, like sweetie or babe)
Me: KLK mami?, why mami? I haven't spoken to you in ages
Dot: why not mami?
Me: Cuz you can't just come back like that after ignoring meThe convo kept going on about how he wasn't ignoring me, blah blah blah. Eventually it stopped 'cause I stopped writing, but shit, the audacity that some guys have to think it's okay to stop talking to girls or break their hearts or just disappear and reappear into their lives whenever they want is just unbelievable. I'm not going to lie or deny it, I've taken him back this way, but quite frankly, I'm tired. I need something new and better than someone who's going to treat me like this.
Am I the only one that has been plagued with his comeback curse??
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- From: OptimiGuru0o@xanga
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Comments (50)
we all have this curse, some guys just want to check up on you.
but one lesson learned, never go back to the guy who broke your heart.
nope, been there done that. will never do it again :o) we live and we learn. they lost something great, now they realize it and they want to come back. but stand strong sweetie and you'll get through all this. i know its easier said than done -- but its something that just needs to be done, no questions asked. good luck!
i prefer to think of it another way. sometimes old friends just want to keep in touch. just because a guy from the past contacts you after a long dearth of conversation doesn't mean he's trying to hit on you, jeez.
my ex just decided right now that he'll never give up on me after he just up and left me twice without saying anything. i know how you feel. why do they have to come back when things are finally flowing smoothly? it's almost like they know our life is good and just wants to stir it up a little. i'm ignoring my ex since i'm dating someone else. hopefully your situation will work out for the best. =)
you are not the only one.
I can relate :/ . I just tend to ignore them.
Though last night, my ex, who feels the need to call me every month, texted me telling me that he has a new number. Five hours later, I responded why he still has my number, and he gave me the lamest excuse - "i just remember it by heart". We texted not for too long, just our usual "What are you doing? How have you been?" blah, blah. So yeah.
Good luck
seriously, right?
i totally putted him on blast.
you know, it's cool. i'm your back up when you're lonely that's why you call me , duh. what other reason is there?
"is that what you really think?"
"is that why you've been gone for how long? and not even try to ask me how i am?"
Nope! I'm dealing with it now. But it's like 3 years later so I just find it funny.
Been there done that. Now I just ignore any chance of him contacting me.
I have this problem with a girl. She's an attention whore, or single. Never know until we talk! Lawl.
But seriously.
I had the same problem with my ex before we were actually in a relationship. It was just a whole mess and when I was finally getting over him, he came back into my life and asked for a second chance because he had feelings for me again. Wtf, right? It was like he could sense that I was happy without him, and popped back into my life to make sure that that wouldn't happen.
Shit, it's like you quite literally read my mind.
This just happened. Yesterday. =/
OMG! I hate this crap!
I swear everytime i get a new boyfriend everyone of my exes crops up with that they're still in love with me and starts stalking me and sending me love notes and flowers
which sounds cute but its really highly annoying
and never a great way to keep your new boyfriend happy
4.5 years of one guy and the comeback curse.
I won't let him come back anymore. period.
nah i'm pretty sure other girls get that too.
no almost all my exes have asked for me back... even after 4 years later and all. so just ignore it and know things didn't work out with him for a reason. and you deff don't want to be a booty call. so ignore.
all the time.
It's got to be something in the water! And I am testament to the fact that it doesn't matter how old you are, it still happens! I have been in an on again, off again one for almost five years now. He once disappeared for six months. This time it is going on three. It DOES get easier to ignore the messages though. If he happens to message me again, I'll wait equally long to respond, I think, or just delete it and put it down to drunk-texting.
they are the boomerang curses, just when you thought they're gone, they come back on your doorsteps.
Men are backwards. It is always when your over them, not thinking about them, that they decide to waltz back into your life. Ugh! It's like they have a radar or something! "Damn dude, ol' girl aint thinkin' bout you no more, time for her to remember who I am!" Weirdos! lol
um. no. you are not the only one to experience this phenomenon.
i fully support the notion that, when it rains, it pours...
i finally start to feel good about where i'm at and feel comfortable talking about a breakup with those who need to know and shit, can't get away from the melodrama.
this has happened to me more time than i can count on my extremities and it boggles my mind everytime.
i feel like jim carrey on the "truman show". there has to be a secret reality network, dedicated to watching my every move that i am completely unaware of.
It's happened to me. He gave me the cold shoulder suddenly and didn't talk to me for TWO YEARS. Then he unblocked me on AIM and started asking me what we had for homework [we sat at the same table but he never talked or looked at me] like we never had a past together. Then I confronted him about the past 2 years and he ignored that and played dumb. I was so fed up that I blocked him and didn't pay any attention to him anymore. We don't talk now and I'm glad I didn't get myself into that mess again.
this happened to me with 3 out of 4 of my exes.
now this i can definitely relate to. i never dated the guy, but he kept doing this "i like you and wanna be around you cuz you are very dear to me" thing, and then just disappear for months without word or contact with anyone. and just when i think ive moved on he pops back up and acts like nothing happened. and im like "omfg, hello! last time we met you fucking kissed me and said you were interested in me romantically. and then you ignored me, and now yur acting like nothing happened. wtf?". and he kept insisting he cared about me, but the cycle kept repeating. it went on for the last three years. dont ask why i put up with the jerk for so long (my mom says im way too patient with people), but after he disappeared this time i said "fuck it" and told him not to bother contacting me ever again.
tell me about it. perdido tambien y los papis venieron desde la madura. jajajja
it swear they can sense when you're single. and it's not the ones you want either. lol.
maybe the guys showing up is a little blessing in disguise to give you some hope that things will get better.
p.s. amaretto sours are my favorite too!