You are not an invalid, he is just being a gentlemen, nothing more.  A gentlemen doesn't give her the chance to pay, he offers you his jacket and opens the door, stand when you get up from the table.  It is a sign of respect.  He is not trying to make you not valid he is trying to show you he respects you.

Warning: This is going to sound a bit harsh.

Honestly? I think women like you need a lesson in what chivalry actually means.
Chivalry is not (and never has been) about believing that a woman is the weaker sex. In the olden days it was the only way for a man to show he was romantically interested in a woman (hooking up really wasn't an option in dragon slaying, Chasity belt days) It has now evolved into a way for a man to show how much he cherishes the woman he's with. It's not about him actually believing that you are weaker.
It's about him wanting to show how much he cares for you with out coming off like Barney Stimson (side note, How I Met Your Mother is the best show you're not watching. Go Hulu it)
It's about agape: the greek word for all encompassing, deep, come what may love. And it's have to be romantic.

So let him pay for dinner, and tell him that you really love the cold (if he's truly chilvarous, he'll take the hint and stop offering)
And heck, put a personal ad in the paper for him while your at it. There are tons of women out there who love chivilary and are constantly wondering where all the good guys are.

@fugita@xanga - amen to that.. thank you so much.. ive learned very quickly to appreciate when men act like this.. and i LOVE LOVE LOVE that you mentioned standing up when a women gets up from the table.. no one understands or does that any more...

@fugita@xanga - @frenchiefrenchfry@xanga - AGREED!! 

don't complain about somebody showing courtesy for once. i hold doors for everyone.
although the paying thing gets annoying.

@freeforming@xanga - You are so right. I have lived all over the world and I have lived in or been to all 48 of the continues US states and I have noticed southern gentlemen do still exist and you are correct, it is how our mother raised us.  Personally, I live in Texas now but was raised military were sir and ma'am are required, were opening a door for a lady was required and were showing respect was done not just for a lady but for anyone in a position of respect and authority.

To this day I still open the door, pull out her chair, pay *not offer but pay*, give her my coat, and stand when she gets up from the table.  There are other things a gentlemen does too, always pay attention to her fully and notice the little things she took the time to do *like when her nails are a new color or she has had her hair cut*.  Trust me guys do this and you will earn the respect of a lady faster!

No if she is not a lady she will take offense to your actions but in those cases you are better off with lady anyway.

Eh, I wouldn't waste time/energy getting too worked up about it, since it seems his intentions are good.  I mean, wouldn't you offer a friend your jacket if they were cold?  And if you got to the door before someone, you'd hold it open for them.  It has nothing to do with thinking you're weak. 

Now, if he were doing all this because he expected something, I would not be impressed either.  It would demonstrate a rather stunning lack of knowledge regarding your preferences/beliefs, as well as cheapening the gesture.  Is this the case?

I can see how it might become uncomfortable if you're just friends and he insists on paying all the time, since I wouldn't be comfortable with that either.  You'll just have to become better than him at intercepting the bill (or sneaking the money back to him somehow).

Have you talked to him about it?  You could just tell him that you appreciate his intentions, but you'd like to pay for your own dinner since you feel uncomfortable taking advantage of him.  Especially true if you guys eat out a lot, since that can become quite costly.  As for the other things, you could always open your own doors and refuse the jacket, no big deal.

@frenchiefrenchfry@xanga - Well she said she didn't like it so he should stop doing it so much. I know it's very kind of him to be so kind to her but different girls are..different. If she doesn't like him doing things for her all the time, he should have enough respect to stop. I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong, but seeing as SHE feels like he's treating her like she's weak, and she TOLD him not to, and he still continues, I think she makes a valid point here.

I have nothing against chivalry or anything (as long as it's not to the degree of Edward Cullen lol) but in her case and opinion, I would agree with her that he should respect her wishes and back off a little.

@fugita@xanga - Ok say I was your girlfriend, I personally wouldn't like that very much. I would really appreciate your compassion and care, but after the first few days I think I would feel suffocated. Some girls like it and some don't - I think I'm one of the girls that wouldn't like that too much after some time. I'm not asking to be treated like dirt, but not some precious little thing either. Just normally treated would be fine with me.

But my point is just because a woman doesn't want all those things doesn't make her a non-lady. And if a guy doesn't like doing those things for a woman over and over, it doesn't mean he is not a kind gentleman.

@jupiter312@xanga - Haha!! I have some friends like that too. Though, recently they are less into arguing over who holds the door, and more into being mad at me for mocking their stupid arguments.

@greatsneha@xanga - My point is I don't just do this for my girlfriend.  I do this for any woman I am with be she a co-worker, boss, friend, relative! It is a sign of respect not because I want to win your heart.  I do for strangers on the street as well the woman I love.  I will open a door, offer a woman my umbrella in the rain, offer to help her with her groceries, and I have even given my jacket to a nice old lady who was sitting waiting for the bus with me one day because she was cold.  Now if my girlfriend asked to split the bill, I would let her think we were splitting the bill but know full well before the night was out the money she gave me would be used to buy her a flowers, or an ice cream or something nice.  Why because I'd rather spend the money on her then me.  But then again it is who I am.  My friends all know this of me. My best friend is so much like me when we take a group out for dinner and fun I pay the bill and he matches it for the tip *our wait staff knows him and I well and we get the best service in town*.  Party of 10 *five couples* bill was about $180.00 added tip about $180.00.  The other guys gave us a few bucks for the bills but we told the ladies not to worry, it was all taken care of already.  If my girlfriend doesn't want my jacket she doesn't have to take it but I'd offer her me to cuddle up with to warm her up.  My girl doesn't like being touched by anyone *long personal story* but when her feet hurt I still offer to rub them knowing she might say no, but then again she might say yes too, so I offer.  A lady can say no and a gentlemen who respects her will honor her wishes.  But for a women to get upset over a guy being respectful, seems to me she thinks he is trying to belittle her and not seeing he is just being respectful.  Would you rather a guy make you pay and have you open the door and treat you like crap cause those guys are plentiful as you can see from several of the comments guys like me who will treat a lady with respect are rare now a days. Most guys don't bother because too many women complain because they feel we want to belittle them.  I have had one lady get mad at me on a first date for being who I am and showing respect.  We didn't have a second date, even though she called me 3 times afterward to ask if I wanted to go out.  

I'll take him if you don't want him

@greatsneha@xanga - understood and honestly I probably would not date your friend more then once. and I was not trying to imply no woman should feel that way just trying to make the point that I would rather not be with that lady if she is going to be offended by me always being respectful and kind to her.  I would not ask anyone to change to please me and I would not change to please anyone else.  With that said I did become a Vegan because I knew my girl wants to have a Vegan house hold when we move in together.  I already mostly eat salads, fish, and very little meat.  So it was not a big deal for me because I knew the benefits and am enjoying the weight loss.  But who I am and who she is are set on upbringing, culture, environment and so on. I agree she has a right to feel how she does about whatever and I have a right to be who I am always and if those two don't mesh well then so be it. I would never try to force someone else to see things my way or believe as I do. I am a live and let live, love and let love kind of person.