Wednesday, 01 April 2009
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Heartbroken? Suicide Is Never The Answer
Let me start off by saying, no girl or guy is worth killing yourself over. If you're having thoughts about it, seriously, stop right there. Time heals all wounds. Distract yourself by doing productive things.Recently, "Brady," a classmate of mine, killed himself and I found out today one of the main reasons was because a girl left him. I'm sure there were also other factors concerning his bad choice, but a main reason was because of a breakup. It saddens me because if he would have given time a chance, he might found that life could go on. Now school is not the same anymore - he was one of the people who helped me with projects and made class fun. Now he's gone and I hate it because I wanted him to be a good friend of mine by the end of the semester.
I'm sure all know that death does not solve anything. It'll just make the girl and EVERYONE feel worse.
I'm the one to talk, yes; I'm a hypocrite, too, because I've had thoughts about suicide - not because someone broke up with me, but because I'm afraid of being alone. I don't trust anyone (after hearing story after story about someone cheating on so and so and leaving so and so) so I'd be non-exclusive anyway and I am trying to deal with being alone. My loneliness almost killed me, but I busied myself into not thinking that I will die alone, and I will meet someone some day, I guess now is just not the time meant for me to be with anyone.
For those who gave time a chance and healed after a bad break-up, what were some of the things that helped you? Maybe this would help people going through a hard time right now.
In my case, I am more open to close friends and family now and people about my problems instead of keeping everything bottled inside, which is what I used to always do.
editor's note: Do you or someone you know need to talk to someone about feeling majorly depressed and/or suicidal? The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-TALK. It's free, confidential and is staffed 24/7.
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Comments (35)
Wow.
It's something my parents have counseled me over as well... it really isn't worth it.
Especially if you've emigrated to be with the one you love - like me - if it ends and you're thousands of miles away from the one you love it can be incredibly tough, but talk: just talking about it can help.
Even if you think that you now-ex was the "one" you never know unless you give yourself a chance to experience what life will throw at you next... and giving yourself that chance requires living.
"As long as there is life, there is hope; there is promise..."
For those who gave time a chance and healed after a bad break-up, what were some of the things that helped you?
My family. But most of all, my friends. Sometimes they even understand me more than my own family. Time heals your wounds and by the time you know it, you're out there again playing in the field.
Sometimes you might think it's the end of the world when you lose someone you love, but it's not. Everything happens for a reason.
rather than being emo... can't u just find ways to make u happy and not worry about who's going to hurt u...thinking about all the negative things is just not getting u anywhere... killing ur self is what stupid ppl do... i say just talk to ur friends if u have a problem or if u dont have any friends either make some or see a counselor
been there, tried it, & didn't have the guts to die.
time heals all wounds...but the scars remain to remind us of that horrid past..
i have scars from my past that would haunts me every now & then. i'm scared that i might get into another situation like that causing me to want to end my life. i'm scared that the next guy i meet will reject me once he sees the scars on my body.
but then i also learned that i have to accept myself before others can accept me.
therefore before i can open up to anybody else, i had to try to overcome the fear and the shame of my past.
meet new people..think positivity..keep yourself busy
& try not to be alone...surrounds yourself with different people when you're depressed so that suicidal thoughts won't circulate your head all the time...
give life and your future husband a chance :]
My boyfriend dumped me about a month and a half ago and when I started to get over him and see another person two weeks ago, he desperately wanted me back. When I told him we couldn't be together, he kind of went crazy. Sunday night he told me he was going kill himself and I started freaking out. He wanted to die because of ME. It was such a horrible feeling to have someone tell you that because of you, they want to die. But I called and tried to get him help, I really hope he ends up ok.
This also happened to a boy I knew (not well). He killed himself when he found IM conversations his girlfriend had been having with another guy. Without even asking her about them, he assumed the worst and hanged himself.
To him, this friend Brady, and every other person, I am sorry. But I also hope they've been good examples of how not to deal with heartbreak that will eventually mend...
When you really love someone it's really hard to see that life will go on. Especially if date other people and you still love the other.
I've been through this. It's really hard. I still think about suicide, but I also have some other emotional issues. Mostly I just don't like the world. And I don't think death is the worst thing that can happen. And I don't think you can always move on. And I think sometimes life just isn't WORTH it.
Wow, that's tough :/ .
crazy.
I go through that, but not just relationship wise... overall stress. For me: Family, Friends, and Nature help me. A nice hike, going out, and just keeping busy helps me. Oh and of course, Meditation.
I've had a friend as well that went through the exact same situation two years ago. It's not the same without him, being my best friend and all, but he's still alive: living on in my heart. For me, I like to keep it bottled up, but it'll eventually burst in ways that were seemingly impossible at the time. But for sure, Time will heal you only if you give it.
The only person to blame, for lack of a better, in the instance of suicide is the person who committed it. Objectively, it's not a bad problem, because from their end, the problem does get solved and ultimately whatever suffering they are experiencing ends. However, a person who commits suicide for a failed relationship most likely has suicidal tendencies to begin with and if it wasn't a relationship it would have been something else. It's not really about the "reason".
geez i would never consider killing myself for someone...im not that desperate. thats i guess one of the great things about knowing urself. i would never go to that extent, i just know its temporary and ill pick myself up again someday. i would just move away and start a new life somewhere else.
Friends and family can do so much to help you get over that overwhelming feeling of being alone forever. Sometimes it feels like you're alone, but if it does, that means you're locking yourself away from everyone outside.
Yeah, a lot of people suicide because of this. This guy at my high school brought a gun to school and when his girlfriend broke up with him, he shot himself.
I've felt like this before too. My ex broke up with me in june, ON MY BIRTHDAY, and i thought i was never going to get over it. I tried so hard to get him back but it wasnt working. I didnt want to go outside. I would sleep 16 hours a day, and stay awake all night just staring at his MSn window. I lost a lot of weight, which isnt good because i wasnt even overweight before the breakup.
Then, 4 months later, I met a new guy. I took a chance with him, and i've never been more happy in my life. 6 months later we are still together and I dont regret a minute of it.I run into my ex occasionally since we live pretty close, and he sees me with my new boyfriend and gives me the evil eyes, but all i can think about is " WOW, I'm sure lucky you decided to dump me!"Now that I think about it, it was the best thing that has happened in my life, to change it for the better.--Break ups are always hard, but everything happens for a reason. Don't worry if you get dumped, somebody better will come along and swoop you off your feet when you're least expecting itPersonally, suicide is an act of selfishness. Think of how upset ur family & friends would be? Most likely, they will be goin through self-blame for not havin noticed the 'symptoms' or for not spending time wif u. My friend had to go thru counsellin for Post-traumatic depression after his good friend committed suicide & has never quite gotten over the guilt.
Shame on those who haf such thoughts cos life can change for the better, as long as u want it bad enough.
well...i did thought of that b4.....how silly.....
@krazyapplelicious@xanga - People who are suicidal are often already thinking of the people around them, either how they would be better off without that person or how they've aided in their behavior. You really don't have the right to call people out and blame them for feeling so desperately displaced in life that the only way they can escape is death. It's obvious it's not rational, but when was the last time an upset individual thought logically?
I understand and can somewhat empathize how hard it is/must have been, but he should have given his family and friends a chance to reach out first.
I've been there, and, to be honest, I'm still not quite sure how I made it through. I struggled for months with depression, thoughts of suicide...self-harm...anything to ease the pain, to distract me for just a moment.
Friends didn't help. Or, at least, finding out that I didn't really have any friends didn't help. Family didn't help. Never expected them to, anyhow.
It wasn't a complete win. I wish I could say "well, it had no effect," but the real truth is, it did. Didn't kill me. Can't, won't do that. Messed me up in other ways, though. Such as school. A semester lost b/c I was an idiot. Oh well. That's life.
previously i tried to kill myself when my ex broke off with me to be with another girl.
I cried badly.... real badly but got over him very soon
thanks to my girlfriends who was there for me when he left
for a senior of mine.
I must say it is a really stupid way to cope with your feelings.
But who can think straight at that point of time.
oh gee but i am glad i am fine now.
I've gone through the motions. I've gotten so close to it too. It was only after the uncontrollable rage and frustration that my ex put me through that I understood what the hell I was doing. She was a mental terrorist. I was blamed for everything and anything that went wrong in the relationship. She even took a lot of things that meant a lot to me ( and Im not materialistic but that stuff was gifts from my friends whom I dont keep in contact with anymore. Those were my memories). After taking from me and leaving me broken, she kicked me down even more by getting married to a guy in the same city where I lived in less than a month's time that we were broken up. When she was with me she didnt work and stayed home all day, which questioned if she did cheat behind my back while I was at work doing the 9-5 for her. Kinda obvious, right? So that was when I lost myself for a while. Depression really carves holes in your soul but I understand now. No one is truely worth killing yourself over. I've got a strong guard and a new love so I guess my life had other plans in store for me.
@RazorBladeParade@xanga - No matter what happens, carry on living. Takin ur own life is not an option & neither is it a choice. To clarify, the act in itself is selfish, I'm not sayin that the person is being selfish & he/she is not sparing a thought for others. I've been suicidal before & guess what, when I finally 'woke up', I saw that my family was actually hurting more than me. I was fortunate enough then, & I hope anybody who walks the same path, can be as fortunate or even more so.
that was horrible. :( i'd never do it for a guy.
@krazyapplelicious@xanga - I'd have a pretty hard time imagining someone who hasn't felt suicidal, and guess what, some of them don't 'wake up'. For you, cool, you had your family, but millions of people don't have that. Society is constantly teaching people to put everyone else before themselves, and the product is a bunch of pill popping individuals who constantly feel unfulfilled and depressed. People need to live for themselves, not their families, their relationships, or their friends, which is also the message this blog is trying to point out: "don't kill yourself over someone else".
I don't believe in suffering for the sake of keeping others happy.