Wednesday, 01 April 2009
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Smashing Stereotypes: Nice Guys Finish Last
Nice guys finish first. ALWAYS. It's the fact of life. They say nice guys finish last because most of them give up before the end of the race, but the truth is, nice guys never finish last if they truly are nice. Trust me. I'm a nice guy! I know all of you are thinking that's bullshit, but it's true! Those of you who know me from high school (or read my LiveJournal from 10th grade) would not think of me as a nice guy. I'll admit I was defiitely an asshole. But I assure you I'm a much different man from back then. I learned the value of caring.
There's a difference between the nice guys that finish last, and the real nice guys that I represent. I choose to be nice regardless of what happens because I like to be nice. I don't like to hurt feelings or ruin dinners or any of that - I like making people happy so that's what I try to do the most. Any guy who's nice to a girl and then gets hurt because he's on the friend ladder isn't a nice guy - those underlying motives are just a sign of what he was really after.
Being nice is about making people happy! Not about getting anything in return.
Choosing to be nice out of the sake of being nice is the best way to be. You feel better because even when the times are hard - even when people shun you, outcast you, or tell you "you're trying too hard" you still shower them with affection and smiles and not regret a damn thing. A smile is the best gift you can give by far!
I assure you I will never finish last, even though I always respect and care about all my friends and "foes" girls and guys alike. (Assuming there are foes, more like the people who don't like me). The nice guys let people walk all over them and then feel bad that they let it happen. I don't mind people walking over me, because I know that I will still continue to be happy and nice regardless. My kindness will never be crushed by anybody, because I'm the one in control and I'll never give that up.
Nice guys...continue to be nice, 'cause you offer the world the best damn thing. And don't feel bad if you don't get the girl, because in the end you gave the girl a piece of happiness that cannot be taken away. And that's way better than any kind of relationship.
smash your own.
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About the Author
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- From: SupperMick@xanga
- Name: Mick
- About Me: Hey everybody! I'm just a normal 20 year old guy who is currently a sushi chef trying to make his life as awesome as it can be. Won't you join me in the quest of being happy? =)
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Comments (40)
I like the fact this post brings my post about why nice guys finish last again. You might be nice....the guys I was speaking of in my post were overly nice. I hope you're not the same.
Plus, as a girl, I can testify that the girl who lets the truly nice guy go, she will later recognize her mistake. It is because of that unforgattable piece of happiness that the truly nice guy gave her (depending on the quality of the experiences) that the girl finds that this treatment cannot be found in their usual prejudices of the perfect guy. As with everything, of course, there are exceptions but these are my two cents
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@PoetMcChick@xanga - Could it be that there are different types or levels of nice?
It's better to be the nice guy and make the girl happy than be the jerk all the girls talk bad about.
Plus, they always end up figuring out eventually, even if it's too late, that the nice guy was/is the one they need.
Everyone knows nice guys just finish in the shower. I don't know where this "last" business came from.
I like nice guys. I'm dating one right now.
@Blessed_Enigma@xanga - That's my point.
Indeed I like nice guys.
This post and your About Me section makes me feel very cheerful for some reason haha. Continue on my friend!
NICE GUYS SHOULD FINISH LONGER.
Nice guys are the shit. I don't understand why any girl wouldn't want one.
nice men finish last because they're fucking stupid.
a man need not be nice, he must be balanced.
there are times to be nice and times to be cruel.
@icecrepas@xanga - I disagree. There is NEVER a need to be cruel. =)
*shrugs*
I get a lot of "I can have my cake and eat it too," feel out of this entry. If "real" nice guys are so nice that they don't mind finishing behind other guys and not getting the girl and it doesn't bother them because they're sitting at home thinking, "Geeze she's happy with the other guy, that makes me happy too," then why are you even trying?
If all you're doing is to try and make new friends, then you're not really in a romantic pursuit in the first place. "I'd like to date her, but if she doesn't want to, then that's fine with me, I just want her to be happy," is a total oxymoron. It's 110% contradictory.
I don't think it's "mean" or "cruel" or "objectifying" to make a relationship an end goal that you work hard for. I believe in gracious losing and not holding grudges if you come in behind someone else, but there's a difference between being a gentleman and admitting you lost and trying to be everyone's friend.
At least "faux" nice guys who drop out of the race early are trying. You're quitting before the starting gun even goes off.
@tokyoexpressman@xanga - no the point is being a nice guy isn't about winning the girl in the first place. We're trying to make everybody happy. Not about winning the girl.
If you're trying to win a girl over, and you're playing the "nice guy" routine. It's a bastardization to what it really means.
Very insightful, thanks for sharing, I totally concur with that
"Nice guys finish first. ALWAYS. It's the fact of life. They say nice
guys finish last because most of them give up before the end of the
race, but the truth is, nice guys never finish last if they truly are
nice. Trust me. I'm a nice guy!"
I fully disagree with this statement on a sexual level. I'm a nice guy, and I try my hardest to finish last during sex!
And now for the rest of the post.(I agree, but that's not the point of my argument)
The whole thing is written from an individual perspective. That's all fine and dandy, but it doesn't do anything to thwart the stereotype! Your personal philosophy about never letting yourself be crushed is ONE person's viewpoint on this subject. Your one of the exceptions to the rule*gasp* and you're far from alone.
From the viewpoint of an outsider, the nice guy still finished last. The nice guy still doesn't have the girl, the nice guy is still searching, the nice guy is still "just a friend". Most of the nice guys I know feel downtrodden at one point or another, but I'm not sure that the feeling after finishing last would be a requisite of this stereotype.
"Any guy who's nice to a girl and then gets hurt because he's on the
friend ladder isn't a nice guy - those underlying motives are just a
sign of what he was really after."
I'm gonna go ahead and say no to that one. Sure, if he's nice to JUST ONE girl, then yeah, but a nice guy who gets shut down by the girl he likes still has reason to feel like crap. If he's a nice guy, she didn't like him for who he is and that's DEFINITELY reason to feel hurt if he must resign to his rung on the ladder.
@tokyoexpressman@xanga - @MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga -
Couldn't have said it better myself. Just because you lose graciously doens't mean that you've actually WON anything. It just means your more of a gentlemen. Yes, my heart gets torn by people but that doesn't mean I wasn't truely nice.
People get annoyed with me when I say stuff about myself like what I"m acutally worth or things like that. and they say "you're wrong, You're so nice and sweet and great, etc that good things will happen to you sometime". Which I know is a lie.
Fact of the matter is, Nice guys do finish last in almost every aspect not just romance. Just because I know that doesn't make me negitive. Yes I do try to stay positive about stuff, but to make everything so positive that I lie to myself everyday is just plain stupid.
I think it's really annoying when nice guys complain that the girl they like won't stop talking about her asshole boyfriend. I always ask them..well why are you hanging around then? You're screwing yourself over by trying to "be nice" while having a different motive and that is to get into her pants by manipulating her emotions when her "asshole boyfriend" lets her down. And surprise, she really isn't into you at all.
Just don't pretend to be nice when you really aren't.
If you're going to be the friend, then be a friend.
If you want to sleep with the girl, then tell her how you feel.
I have a lot of guyfriends don't get me wrong, but there is nothing I hate more than a guy who seemingly likes me and pretends to just be "friendly". I know your intentions and they are not friendly.
Whenever someone tells me nice guys finish last I like to relate the story of the Tortoise and the Hare.... the jerks are the Hare and the nice guys are the Tortoise.
It may seem like the Jerks are winning the whole time, but in the end the Nice Guys will win while the Hare is still taking a nap; getting the temporary satisfaction. Nice Guys will have found true happiness while Jerks are still just looking for a quick fix.
I've dated alot of assholes in my life, and now im dating a nice guy. And i never want to go back to dating an asshole. lols <3
wow.. thats cool~!
My nice guy Ex, was the person who treated me worse =O ... maybe he just wasnt a nice person all together !
I like this blog though =) gives some people hope ... =)
Well said.... at least you appreciate it all. Some "nice" guys are just plain jerks that have a bad front to cover up their nice side which is a bad way about it. then they complain how they have been nice but got used when the girls leave them. Obviously they haven't been all that nice because they have just been pushing away all their luck with their bad front which is nowhere near being nice. hahah