Miss Ostrich Friends and girls around me all seem to be catching the baby bug, lately. Admittedly, I did too for awhile, but where I thought, "Aw, babies are adorable," my friends think, "Aw, babies are adorable, and I MUST HAVE ONE NOW!" The novelty of tiny people has worn off for me, but it's still going strong in my group of friends.
I've been thinking more and more that I don't want kids. Period. I love babies; I love children; I love the idea of loving someone enough to want to carry their child. What's freaking me out is that babies turn into children, who turn into teenagers, who turn into adults. It's a lifelong decision that most people have to make before they're thirty-five, which gives me fifteen years to get married, make enough money to support a child, figure out how to do my taxes, learn the finer points of breastfeeding, learn how to not mess up someone's life... I think my timer stopped ticking.
Are any of your friends itching to have a baby? Is it ever too early to decide you don't want kids?
Recommend
Comments (47)
You seem young, so I'm sure you have a lot of time ahead of you to decide or change your mind. Having a baby is definitely one of the biggest decisions in life, because it changes your status from a regular adult to a parent with a heavy responsibility of nurtutring a life. It's something that takes time, and should only happen when you're ready. You probably haven't lived enough life for youself, and when you think you're ready, maybe you'll change your mind.
ahaha i'm only 7 years till i'm 35. i still have some times left lol. if i don't have one by then, i'll get pets instead. o.O
I know people that only see them as little bundles of pollution... =/
And other people have said to me "it's a choice between having a kid, and having nice toilet paper. I think you can guess which I'd rather have."
I don't think it's ever too early to decide whether or not you want kids (to each their own right?), but whether or not you follow through is another story.
i love babies...but not children/teenagers or what...=='
My friends and I love babies and children, as well, but we don't want them right away. It just scares me to think about how my future children will grow up. Has anyone noticed a growing trend in disrespect towards parents these days?
Yay for sanity! Congrats =]. Hahah.
Most of the girls I know have an "oops" baby. They're 19, 20, and 21. Now I know most of them, when they were 16 and 17 didn't think, "By the time I'm 20, I'm going to have a baby!" I seriously doubt it. Most of them are now married because they got knocked up.
I'm 20 and unmarried, and if I'm going to have a baby, it's going to be after marriage and planned with careful consideration. I'm in no rush to have a child nor raise one right now.
I decided at 21 that I did not want kids after a lot of research and thought, but I think I always sort of knew. Once I found out that a lot of guys were interested in being fathers I thought I should have a solid idea of where I stood before entering a serious relationship. My friends aren't too baby-crazy yet but I have to lay low about my choice because I am criticized for it when people find out about my choice, even by college students who have no idea what raising a kid is like. I do not talk about it unless I am asked. Many people tell me I will "grow out of it" or "things will change when you're married." I hear the same things over and over. I believe the decision whether to have kids or not should be made *before* two people decide to tie the knot. It's a lifestyle choice and a dealbreaker if the other person really wants kids and you really don't. Don't be ashamed to decide against having kids--it's not obligatory, and many of your friends who are baby crazy probably aren't thinking past the "cute baby" stages of raising a kid.
I'm your age, too and I still haven't decided. I want to get my ph.d. first. I have kind of cycled back and forth, you know? One year I don't want them, the next I do, the next I don't know. The only thing I know is that it will be at least 7 more years until I'm ready.
i want a baby!!!! >.but i am toooo young for one lol......
i agree with you. kids are cute, adorable and sometimes awesome to have around but it's something i have to think about if i ever do decide. I'm getting a dog first and my bf will have to settle with that =) ha.
xsomething my friend told me, who already have kid.
"babies are cute, when they're not yours."
I'm itching to have a baby and I'm 17 (will be 18 in a month). I'm not some uneducated hick or slut either. I just have a boyfriend that I'm pretty much engaged to that I want to spend the rest of my life with and raise a family together. I don't want a baby because they're adorable. If that's a girl's reason for wanting a child, she is NOT in any way ready to care for a child.
But I'm waiting until I get married to have a child, which will be after I graduate from college (I'm a freshman currently.) So I'm not going to have a child anytime soon. I just want one before I hit 30 or even 28.
I don't know what I'm going to do about medical school because I want to have a child in my early twenties. I might take a two year break to have a baby between college and med school. I just don't want to work out my career and then find out that I'm too old to have children or have great difficulty having children, like my mom. She was 30 when she started trying for a baby. She tried for SIX years: three miscarriages, and then she had me for whom she was in labor for FORTY hours and then had to go through with a C section... Yeah... I don't want that. And I also don't want my children to have a much higher risk of having Down's syndrome. Once you hit 30, the risk skyrockets from literally almost 0 to something like 2% or something.
some babies are sooo adorable. however, the thought of having one of my own is bittersweet...I'd be very happy but at the same time horrified because I'd probably be one of those over-protective parents and freak out and heartbroken if my baby runs, scraps their knee, bleeds, cries and the baby naturally makes a sad face:( it'll be difficult to just let go and let my baby make mistakes but it is something that I have to do in order for the baby to learn how to walk, metaphorically speaking. I'll be like finding nemo's overly paranoid dad but the female version haha...
I'm only 18, but seeing old friends that are my age having babies...That's just insanity. I couldn't even take care of myself..And I would never bring someone else into the world without the money for a comfortable life. I'm in love with someone, but its so fortunate that we both feel we need time to just be us and not grow up too fast. Besides..We both can't stand children between the ages of 5 and 15. :)
I don't want kids. I made that decision when I was maybe 14 or 15, and nothing has changed my mind since. I'm 22 already. I'd be content being the Cool Aunt. Or the occasional babysitter.
I like babies, as long as they're not my own. I'm in no hurry to have a kid or even getting married. Once I finish school I want some time to live independently as a single adult, and once I get settled and can support myself, that's when I'd like to get hitched and maybe have a kid or two.
Some people I know have had kids or gotten married straight out of high school (or even during high school), which is kind of sad because it seems like they've moved too quickly and missed a part of their life that they won't get to experience, because they already have a family.
When I was in 2nd grade I KNEW I wanted to be a mother. I actually begged my parents to have MORE (and thankfully, they didn't!) I spent my entire adolescence trying to find a mate. When I married at 19, I knew I still wanted kids, but I told him, "Let's wait 7 years, so I can finish college." We ended up divorcing before our 7 year mark. I spent the rest of my 20s looking for someone else. I remarried at 30 and have been happily married for 5 years. I still don't have children. It's painful sometimes and very awkward in my social group because my husband and I are about the only couple that DOESN'T have children. I still want to be a mother someday, but I think that I'll be okay if I don't.
I have several friends who decided that they didn't want kids and we sort of formed a group because we DON'T have kids and it works.
I've decided recently that my uterus isn't a topic for polite discussion so I decided to make people as uncomfortable about asking the question as they make me feel when they ask. "Why don't you have kids/How many kids do you have?" "I'm barren."
I like babies but I'm certainly don't want one. XD
i'm twenty and i have just started to get baby fever. even though i know i won't want to have one for at least a couple years (after I've finished graduate school) I still start to get jealous when I see people with them, or for example the girl in my class who is going to give birth three months after she graduates university. still, like you i want to be responsible about it, and i don't want a baby so bad i'd have one with anyone. so i guess it depends how life works out; i want to be financially stable first. i grew up with money being a constant stress and although money doesn't make a difference in how much you love a child, it certainly helps in taking care of it!
i want babies but deff not now >.<
I am raising my sisters and for now that's enough. Someday I do want some of my own but just not today.
I'm 21 and I just got engaged. Ask me about babies in 5 years when I have a good job and a good marriage. I feel like the only person on earth that doesn't like babies. I like kids better... I think babies are kinda boring (sorry) until they can move around and talk.And it's kind of scary to think abouthow you can take care of something that can't really communicate what it wants. When I was younger I did NOT want to have kids at all, but that has changed, which makes me happy. But I do want to have kids in the future.
First and foremost, I'm damn near making it scientific law that babies always send a woman's paternal instincts into massive overdrive. Even if it's not their own, most women love them or go nuts over them.
Are any of your friends itching to have a baby?
Some have, some are itching about it, some got an unfortunate turn of events (knocked up), but almost all of them are reasonable enough to think about it before they do it. Sadly, hormones and lust can make fools of us all in one night.
Is it ever too early to decide you don't want kids?
Yes. I did at first and used it as a reason for not wanting a relationship. Many people decide early on that they don't want kids because of the massive responsiblities that go into child raising. I still don't want a kid YET, but one day down the line, if I can get myself financially stable, I would adopt a daughter and name her Alexandra (because I like that name).
THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!! It seems like every girl I know is in a rush to grow up! I am bias on the situation because I had an unexpected pregnancy at 17 and terminated the pregnancy because I had a stupid ex but in the long run I was able to carry on with my life and make sure I prepare a good life for future children (which i do want badly lol)! All these girls that I know (I'm just thinking of those I know, not anyone else) were careless and are still being careless! It's easy to be pregnant but its another thing to raise a child and I think a lot of the girls i know are in for a shock!
I think I just know some silly people.
some of my friends already have the next 3 years of their lives planned out, which includes weddings & babies and all that jazz (EWWW!!)
then my other group of friends wants absolutely nothing to do with babies (or husbands haha)! so i have a feeling that the non-baby group of friends is who i'm going to end up hanging out with more in the future lol... (i hate children)