Tuesday, 31 March 2009
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Being Faithful When You Only Live Once
I've been in a serious relationship for a few years now. We both care very much for each other and I see myself with him for many years to come. We're both still young, but even our family sees us marrying. Basically, I'm incredibly happy with him.
However, I was inspired by something I saw on How I Met Your Mother. As Ted tried to kiss the cafeteria lady, Luisa, she said, "I'm already engaged to Mr. Barney! Ah, who cares...we live but once!"What she said really hit home.
I want to be with this boy for a long long time, if not forever. I'd feel guilty or wrong for flirting with some other guy, and I would feel horrible if it went even farther. But why should I?!
My years are limited and my time before adulthood (when I really need to settle down) is even more limited. As Luisa said, we live but once!
Who's with me? Or would my taking a sitcom's fictional character's advice be a horrible, horrible mistake?
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- From: dont4getthis1@xanga
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Comments (87)
Dont ruin your relationship because u happen to stumble over something. u are doing a great job and being with one guy and thats how it should be. Keep it that way. I think that only goes for people who are single anyways, or that isnt in a serious relationship.
Umm dont know what to tell you . . . cause I've never realy been in a real relationship ya know.
Sure you only live once (unless reincarnation is real), but it takes only one simple action to completely destroy your friendship/relationship with someone by being selfish. Do you really want to be the asshole who ruins someone's life because of some misguided sense of entitlement?
How about you don't do things to others that you wouldn't want done to you.
The Entitlement Generation needs to grow up.
This message brought to you by the Foundation for Not Being a Narcissistic Douche.
I wouldn't do it because you only live once. Once you cross the line and possibly hurt him, you never get to go back. There's forgiveness, but the memory sticks with you.
@methodElevated@xanga - Haha, well said.
Serious relationship > "Fun"
It's true--life is short and you only live once, so make the most of it. On the other hand, you're still young, and you've got to keep in mind that the majority of people today actually take what you said to the extreme.
The type of relationship you're seeking (the long-lasting and genuine type of love, I assume) is not going to benefit from flirting with this guy and that guy, so why even bother? I think you should definitely make the most of your youth and get to know different people, make new friends, etc. But it doesn't help anyone to act like a shameless wanton, which Barney is (hey, he'd agree with me, too, lol!)
Dating around might be a good experience, but in order to find that right person for you, it's better to let these relationships develop naturally at its own pace. I think we seem to be rushing into these things in this day and age.
:)
I wouldn't do anything to ruin your chances of being with your boy for as long as you want. Just 'cause you only live once doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy what you have currently.
To me, it sounds as if you're just not mature enough to be in a serious relationship yet.
@methodElevated@xanga - Amen.
As if fun is the most important thing in life.
I believe we live more than once. Taking that into account, it's wise to be faithful (or at least honest)... unless you want karma to bite you in the ass.
What @methodElevated@xanga said. :)
You have to make these descisions on your own but, you do need to remember that actions result in reactions. The reactions are pretty predictable, so all you have to decide is what's more important to you the feelings of the one you love or your freedom to be with others.
you only live once. would you want a mistake to follow you around pouring guilt down your back for the rest of your life? the saying goes both ways
Definitely not with you. An entire lifetime already isn't enough to spend with the one person I do love. I would never, under any circumstances, want to WASTE my time with anyone else.
@methodElevated@xanga - well stated. =]
Not if it's a serious relationship. You either pick to be serious or fun. You can't be both without affecting the other.
@methodElevated@xanga - Exactly what she said. Loved the wording, aha. And cheating/being unfaithful is only a selfish act. You're only considering your feelings and not what your SO is feeling. You're basically taking his love for you and the relationship for granted.
lol.. i find it hilarious that you used Barney as someone you'd model yourself after. you have a lot to learn about life and relationships..
First off, cheating is never condoned by anyone and especially by the person who is in the relationship with you..unless the agreement you've made with him is otherwise.
Secondly, living once does not warrant you the right to live however the F you like. We're not animals and we don't go around sleeping with people on impulse. That's reckless and shows a great lack of self-respect and self-control. But I mean it is your life after all. If you would like to sleep around as much as possible and kiss as many guys as possible, then maybe really reconsider having a serious relationship or even one at all with anyone.
If you are feeling this way maybe you should explore them, in a way that is fair. And by that I mean end things with your bf. You say you care for each other, yet you feel that you will be guilty if you flirt or do other activities with another guy. Of course you would, you are in a serious relationship. The people who don't feel guilty about doing that are single people.
In the end in all comes down to what you want. Do you want the seriousness to be taken to marriage and family, are you feeling nervous about being with someone for so long that you didn't really get the chance to date around? I guess better question to ask yourself is, where do you see yourself in 5 and 10 years? Do you see yourself married and working and/or raising a kid? Or do you see yourself worrying about marriage then? I think that will help you decide the best course of action. Reading your post tho, it sounds like you care about your bf yet it also seems you say it regretfully that you didn't get to date around or experience all of your single life. And if that is the case then I suggest you end things and experience it, and if you two really do belong together you can always get back together. You shouldn't feel that way then you are in a serious relationship with someone.
Try it and see what happens...
bad idea! All that is going to happen is you will get your temporary and instantaneous pleasure and ruine the long term happiness you have with your serious SO. You cannot justify your desires by saying you only live once knowing you will hurt someone else. True, you do only live once but if you are about to intentionally hurt someone then you are in a bad situation.
What I sugest, is if you are unhappy with your current relationship and need to date more people explain that to your SO or liven it up with your SO and try something new to keep your relationship feeling passionate.
Anyways, I wish you luck!
If you take a damn tv show like that seriously, you're a sadistic fool and need to be slapped a few times. Let me put it simply. You're thinking of cheating on your boyfriend that you love oh so much, and can see yourself with him for many years to come, right? Well you have problems. NOBODY should be taking advice from a tv show. Nobody. It's a show. You watch it, laugh at it, then go on with your life.
Seriously...whats the world coming to these days?
I would say that Barney is probably not a character you want to be taking relationship advice in haha.