Tuesday, 31 March 2009
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Ashton Kutcher's Surprisingly Worthwhile Love Advice
We all know men have problems understanding us - they certainly need help when it comes to our emotions, needs and feelings. Who better to provide the help than Ashton Kutcher? He seems to have finally landed on target when it comes to being in a relationship with a woman. Here's what he had to say on his Twitter regarding his marriage:"For me it's about relearning that supporting my wife isn't about providing money and home, it's about supporting her desires, needs and emotions.Greatest lesson in my marriage. Don't try to solve her problems, just listen, love and be supportive. This is the opposite of male nature."
I agree with everything he said. Why is it so hard for guys to be supportive? To listen to us? To simply make us feel better and putting their ego on the sideline?
Do you agree with what he said? Does your SO act like that?
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- From: missedout_onlife@xanga
- Name: missedout_onlife
- About Me: We accept the love we think we deserve
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Comments (32)
Seems that most often that doesn't end up as what most women want in a husband, that's what they want in a friend.
My boyfriend has learned to do what Ashton is talking about through experience. He's realized that he can't solve all my problems, but he can stand by me & comfort me while I get through them.
What he has said is what has been being spread in feminine magazines for years. Nothing new. But yea, they are totally right.
Unless its something like "My car needs an oil change" females do not want men to fix our problems. We want them to listen and sympathize with us. We want men to back us up.
My husband is exactly like that. Yes I'm a little smug about that fact.
Wow. I thought he was dumb.
@EarthsAzureLight@xanga - YES!!!! So many girls want this in a guy, but when they do get it, they get bored fast. I have this in my friends, guys and girls, I don't think I want it in my guy.
Oh I know I say it... but I really don't want just that.
I agree with @EarthsAzureLight@xanga. Don't get me wrong, I agree with Kutcher here completely, and would act accordingly in a relationship context, but since you're throwing the whole "Why are guys dropping the ball?" Thing out there, then I'm just going to say, because it seems most girls want us to.
@FireMapleSong@xanga @tigerdauphin@xanga - More or less. The guys that care or listen aren't boyfriends, they are friends.
I follow Ashton & Demi on Twitter. They are just so adorable together. And Ashton has good advice too!
@EarthsAzureLight@xanga - Well, I won't get into definitions, because I disagree with the statement. The point is, yes, most women feel that way.
I think it's culturally and socially programmed because we come from a society that has its roots in a male-dominated household in which the woman is required to conform to her husbands wants and desires exclusively without the apparent need for mutuality, so I would disagree with an objective claim that "The guys that care or listen aren't boyfriends, they are friends". It's simply the popular mentality.
That is surprisingly very good advice from him. I concur!
@FireMapleSong@xanga - I disagree with it too, but it's reality of how women choose.
@EarthsAzureLight@xanga - Again, I'd only say it's a reality for a strong majority of the population in our particular cultural setting. I strongly dislike how this article forces us to make generalizations when we're really just talking about a statistic - but I mean, she DID ask "Why is it so hard for guys to be supportive?" :-\
Wise words.
I think he's smarter than he lets on...
My SO is not like that. He tries to solve my problems and gets frustrated when he can't.
He is supportive of my educational, personal, and career dreams.. but something is missing.
Another side to Ashton Kutcher...
Why is it so hard for guys to be supportive? To listen to us? To simply
make us feel better and putting their ego on the sideline?
His pride. His stubbornness. It gets in the way sometimes.
@jeezshoua@xanga -
PFFFFFFFFTI've been in relationships where I KNEW I couldn't fix the problems b/c they weren't mine, they were either family problems, or perssonal life problems, or "I'm worried about my future" problems, etc.. and in half of them, I either got bitched at for not fixing it myself, or was supposed to be the answer myself. I totally agree with some of the comments up there; that's not a 'boyfriend' quality, it's a 'good friend' quality. How many people in GENERAL actually take RESPONSIBILITY for their own internal problems and demons these days? Isn't it more popular not to? =P
I didn't know he was married..
It'd be nice if a guy were like that.
@jeezshoua@xanga - I agree with your answer 100%
I'm at last impressed by him. Way to go, Ashton!
Guy's aren't exactly sensitive.
when telling my SO about something that happened during my day which I think is absolutely wrong, he'll try to make me look on "both sides" of the situation which I guess he's semi-right but sometimes you just want to be understood.
but after continuous of talking he'll just say "it's alright, dont worry about it, let it go"
i'm glad that my boyfriend does exactly what he said.
I'd say the reason it's hard for them to be like that, is because women MAKE it hard.
If you tell a male exactly how you're feeling and don't make him guess, he can begin to understand.
If you play guessing games, he guess wrong and you yell at him for it, of course he's going to get cocky and not give a damn - you're yelling at him.
I don't have an SO, I don't have time or need one. But I still think, maybe if women learnt about guys and helped them to learn about us, instead of taking control and getting angry about how they supposedly don't care, things would be different.