Tuesday, 31 March 2009
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Find Someone Who Just Wants to Go on The Journey with You
I had dinner with a friend at this Viet restaurant in Chinatown today, and the waiter placed us next to a couple who sounded like they were at the end of relationship. It was a WPS situation: Worst Possible Scenario. I tried not to listen in, but our tables were so close and they were speaking kinda loud, so it was kinda hard not to catch their convo, but I'm not gonna spare the details here...><
Hearing the couple argue with each other was enough to make me wanna be single the rest of my life...good gawd, at one point I wanted to turn to them and be like, "hey, can't we all just get along?" but from past experiences, I know what it's like; it's absolutely horrible arguing with someone you love(d); it makes you want to not eat dinner and cry in the bathroom, which is what the girl did. I felt really bad for her and made it a point NOT to stare or look over at them, 'cause yeah, that is one yucky situation as it is...I think at one point or another, you have to realize that sometimes it's better to cut your losses and move on. Life is too short to spend it arguing and trying to fix things that may not be fixable. In today's world, I guess perfection is impossible, but the BPS, I guess (Best Possible Scenario, for all you slow people out there, heh), is to find someone who cares, who you can trust, makes you happy and most of all, someone who realizes that life IS too short and simply wants to accompany you on the journey and just...be with you.If you haven't seen "Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist," shame on you. The movie is fantastically awesome, and there's one scene where the Asian guy (bonus points!) Dev, goes, "Other bands, it's about sex. Or pain. Or some fantasy. But The Beatles, they knew what they were doing. You know the reason The Beatles made it so big? 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand'. First single. Fucking brilliant. Perhaps the most fucking brilliant song ever written. Because they nailed it. That's what everyone wants. Not 24/7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that lasts a hundred years. Not a Porsche or a blowjob or a million-dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have such a feeling that they can't hide. Every single successful love story has those unbearable and unbearably exciting moments of hand-holding."
I think he explained that best, so I'm gonna leave it at that.
Oh, and one more thing: to the couple at the Viet restaurant...good luck.
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- From: aPieceOfTheSky@xanga
- Name: Eileen
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Comments (36)
Love is not a destination but a journey and the best ones are going no place special but man is the getting there fun!
I totally freaked out in theatres when I saw that movies.
And my group of friends look at me when he said that.
Because I absolutely LOVE The Beatles.
But I totally agree.
It isn't just about sex. It's about enjoying the company and going on that journey together.
♥
Right on.
@fugita@xanga - Well stated!
I sorta had the same epiphany watching that exact movie. haha.
Yikes. Public arguments. >.>
The biggest bone I have to pick is with the reason why divorce rates are just so damn high these days. -->People are simply 'giving up' way too easily when it comes to relationships.
- I do agree with ending it when you ultimately see that it's not fixable, but really..most things are fixable.
People are just so petty in their arguments these days and far less tolerant of each other. --I just wish people could see past those issues and see that their love overrides all that crap. --And if it doesn't, at least terminate the relationship in a more dignified and less public fashion.
Eep. I hate awkward situations like that.
Aww this was so sweet and I'm glad you wrote this! I wish my sister could read this because she's in a tumultous , emotionally abusive, arguing relationship, much like the one you just described..and I wish that she could read this! I'm so happy that you realized this at a young age, because a lot of people haven't. Especially controlling, manipulative, little BOYS pretending to be men.
Just my two cents. =)
:)
Yeah, it's best to live life as if every day is the best day of a person's life, I think. However, we all know that's not possible. The only thing we can do is live and learn. ...And not argue in public >_>.
you made me listen to that song now :)
Amen to that!
@eternal_relevance@xanga - I think you are partially right that people give up too easily on marriage but I also think that too many of my friends have rushed in and married someone who they didn't really know to begin with. After the initial thrill wears off they look at each other and say "who are you?"
His name is Thom in the movie ;x
love that movie.
wow well said! Now I want to see that movie haha.
I thought i found someone who i could trust, love and be happy with.. until they dropped a bombshell on me, and i realised that i was in disillusion the whole time. Problem is.. he claims that life without me is no life at all, and he loves me from the bottom of his heart and he doesn't want to lose me.
I think finding the 'right one' or one that you can trust and all that only last till you find out something bad, before you will snap out of it. Maybe that's why the divorce rate is so high. Because they were in my situation.
I have been together with this guy for 3 years.. i saw him every single day, i talked to him at least 5 times on the phone every day. You think the amount of time you spend together will be a clear indicator of what kind of person they are...
I thought wrong.
Those who do have fantastic relationships, congratulations, you have found the diamond amongst the rocks. The rest of us just have to keep searching and hope that final decision we make to commit ourselves is not one that we will stand to regret.
awkward!~
there is no "perfect" relationship. each side has to work to make it satisfying to eachother. when one stops and the other doesnt, trouble happens. as with any road, there are bumps and turns and rough shoulders. pot holes need to be tended to to both. i think you can have several that can go on the journey with you, each offering the best part to the whole. even if you have and s.o. you can still have friends that may fill in the lag times of the journey.
good insight on this post. thanks for sharing!
I wish everyone would understand that, but some people actually choose not to even knowing it.
And I loveddd that movie.
that's a great quote! and nice blog too =]
The relationship was doomed if the couple couldn't even tolerate each other in public. All they had to do was wait until they were in a private place to continue the argument. Given some time, they may calm down a bit and talk in a more mature manner.
Good stuff. Thanks.
*goes searching for Beatles' LP"
that movie is one of the best movies. ever. it's basically mine and my boyfriend's story.
Well said... //