First, your friend is either very cynical or has had a string of horrible boyfriends. Just because you're in a serious relationship does not mean that guys are going to stop treating you good. Some guys treat you better when they're in a serious committed relationship.

I agree with missedout. I think it's hard to understand ALL men. You can't generalize like that. I think you can definitely understand the ones you know without being in a serious romantic relationship with them though. I'd like to say that I understand my best guy friends, and maybe I do, maybe I don't, but I at least understand them enough (as in I'm not going to be upsetting them all the time, or saying something "wrong" or whatever).

*Shrugs* I think it's really like knowing/understanding anyone. You get to know them, you "understand" them. :)

each person is an individual

How funny. When women first start dating, they put on makeup and dress very nicely and when things start getting serious, they stop combing their hair and start wearing sweat pants.

At the beginning of every relationship, everyone is trying to put their best face forward to Impress you...how else will they reel you in?? People are not as they seem once you've spent enough time with them..with anyone.

And no, it is never good to try and "understand men" because every guy is different. There are basic common grounds of course, but everyone is entirely different. You will know this once you really start spending a ton of time with that person.

Understand them in what way? Being in a serious relationship lets you understand them as a partner, but not as a brother or father. If you want to understand them as a cousin, I don't see why you have to be in a relationship with a guy to do that.

Guys are complex just like girls. They have different personalities for different people. 

I can understand MY guy, but we've been together almost 3 years now so I can positively say that I understand the way he is.

As for the rest of the guys out there, I understand them to a certain point.  Just basic stuff, nothing too earth shattering. lol

But I guess it really does just depend on the guy.  While some guys are open books, other are as unpredictable as hell.

she sounds bitter and probably the guys she dated just wanted to get into her pants and lost interest soon after. you can still understand men to a certain degree but some men are sociopaths. take scott peterson for example. lol. I couldn't think of a better example for two-faced men.

I have been in one serious relationship, one not so serious relationship and have gone out on numerous other dates. I didn't grow up with my father and my brother is seven years younger than me. It's been over a year and a half since I've been in a relationship, however, I do have a rather large group of (very different) guy friends that I understand perfectly well, just as every other male I've ever encountered. Them understanding me though is yet to be determined.

Well, I agree and disagree with both of you.

I didn't grow up with my father, my brother wasn't born until I was eight and I always thought of my step-father as an annoying prick. I was young and naive back then, so I didn't know much about anything, especially the cattiness  of women, and I pretty much had no male friends.
So there goes your opinion.

And I've never been in a serious relationship.
So there goes your friend's opinion too.

I think the first step to understanding males, is knowing and accepting that you will NEVER fully understand them.
From there, you're right, interaction and relating is the best you can really do. If you have a varying range of important males in your life - like me - you'll see the difference of them and be able to understand things.

All my important friends are males, I can tell how they're feeling, when they're feeling it and usually why, just by the look on their faces. It's really not hard and you don't need a serious relationship, but serious friendships are more like it.

Once you pick up certain things from one group of guys, you can see the same in others and apply them with some accuracy, or at least that's how it is for me.

Things are different for me when it comes to females though, I usually just stay away because I think girls are bad news. I could try and understand, but after all the female crap I put up with as a kid, I don't even give myself the time of day to think about it.
Guys are much easier to understand, no games and no cattiness.

So yeah, from where I'm standing you're both right and you're both wrong.

@epitomeof_aberrance@xanga - Well said. EXCELLENTLY well said!

Same to you poster. You have it right!

Nobody authentically knows anybody without sitting down and talking to them. I say authentically because we may be able to make generalizations based on stereotypes or an experience (be it good or bad). Therefore, it's quite possible to understand a guy just by sitting down and talking to him. It's the basic rule of social interactions. Try to talk to somebody before you discern whether you like them or not.