Sunday, 29 March 2009
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My Short-Lived Trial with Asian Avenue
A few days ago, I signed up for an account on Asian Avenue, thinking that I'd give in and join in on the web race for finding romance. Meeting someone online may not be the most romantic way to find that special someone, but in today's world of instant messaging, Facebook, and e-mail, I figured, heck, why not? I selected three of my best photos, Photoshopping them to highlight myself in the best light (of course), filled out a couple of interests, and voila, I had an account. The next morning, I logged on only to see my mailbox filled with notes and friend requests. Unsure of whether to be flattered or suspicious, I read through the notes, a majority of which stated "hey gorgeous" and "let me take you out tonight". After a few days of this, getting so-called courted by non-Asian men with yellow fever and Asian guys racing to friend as many girls as possible, I decided I was done.
Not only did I feel disgusted by the guy who kept IMing me to chat, asking me three times if that was me in the photos, and the guys who treated it as a free-for-all, it felt sadly degrading and disappointing how they all judged me simply by my appearance. I canceled my account after two days without responding to any of the notes.
In a way, I suppose Xanga is guilty of this to the same effect. Unless you're well known for your writing, the hotter your picture, the more hits you get to your site. Is there something innate in all of us that responds better to beauty? As Carrie would put it:
I couldn't help but wonder… in today's society, do only good looking people deserve to be read/heard/or spoken to?
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- From: aPieceOfTheSky@xanga
- Name: Eileen
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Comments (67)
What a secular world we live in...
sometimes it takes outward beauty to make us stop and listen, sometimes outward beauty only drowns out what is said.
the main reason why people join those communities is to chat with hotties that they probably wouldn't have the guts to in real life. the fact that you photoshopped your pics before posting shows that you intended for others, guys especially, to take notice to you and they 'coincidentally' noticed, yet you're pissed off but secretly flattered because they stroked your ego?! lol is it just me but people, who pose for pics and try to look sexy do that because they want comments on their appearance to boost their ever growing ego.
can't believe that site's a dating site now, haha. It's totally changed from like... 10 years ago :).
I dunno, I guess we live in a superficial society. That's why I refuse to sign up for the dating sites... well, I just have an account to look at the pics, haha :)
I remember Asian Avenue - I had it when I was 12 ? I'm currently 19
So that was a good ol' 7 years ago
Me and my friends only had Asian Avenue - cause other sites weren't invented yet
Havent touched asian avenue in years - heard it sortda died* down
Not something people hype about
you mean to ask if people only listen to those that are attractive?
well... duh. sorry, but yep; that's how it is. it is somewhat of a free-for-all.. not just on the net, but in life. difference is, in life, it takes time to see all of these things. the part about being mysterious, and not sharing all of your time with one person, comes into the picture. on the net, you can pretty much see who's been doing what, to whom, when it happened, and their intentions. (for the most part at least)
if you want to get to know more than one person in life, you just sort your time and effort until you find the one person you don't mind sacrificing for. that's a lot harder in the net, esp. if you're a sensitive person, or fear being just another face. but isn't that why women put on make-up, do their hair, nails, shave their legs, wear heels, and wear figure-fitting clothing..? To be 'pretty', right? If enough of you do it, you also become... just another pretty face; judged simply by your appearance..
Depressing. lol
The answer to the last question is obviously "no", but you wouldn't know that just by looking.
what about the bovine opinion? cows have feelings too...
Never heard of such a site actually. . . Anyways, I think it's somewhat stupid for those online-dating sites. . . I actually use them when I'm bored and want to pass time though. But that's just me. . . I use Xanga as. . . ugh I have no idea. . .online-not-so-secret diary?
"Is there something innate in all of us that responds better to beauty? "
why else would we even have the concepts of beauty and ugliness? ...
OMG I know what you're talking about completely. Before I posted my current profile picture, it was just a plain picture and I didn't get any visits. After I posted that pic, I started getting obscene messages online and guys giving me their phone numbers. It's definitely because of the picture. But I wouldn't blame Asian Avenue or Xanga for this problem. It happens regardless of the site.
Don't ever join a dating site then haha. You'll get strange messages up the wazoo!
yes there is actually something innate in all of us that responds to beauty as proven by psychology. "What is beautiful is good" - probably because of a defense mechanism to weed out bad looking and bad smelling foods and land to keep us alive but unfortunately the principle, when applied to humans doesn't work out all that well but hey, some of us learn to adapt.
That's funny. I met my current, soon-to-be ex boyfriend on AsianAve, but of course at the time I had NO intention whatsoever to look for love. I never believed in internet dating. I re-signed up for an account on that site merely to re-connect with an old friend whom I met about four years prior. Of course, it was all to no avail, but along the way I added a few people here and there and figured it couldn't hurt as long as they "seemed" decent.
I added who is now my current boyfriend. Ultimately, I learned AsianAve was pretty pointless and creepy so I moved back to Myspace (sadly). And he added me on there too. It wasn't until I moved back there that we started to connect. Anyhow, I became weary of AA; I was getting massive friend requests from total strangers--mostly older men. I posted a few flattering pictures of myself (nothing obscene or sexual) and learned that one man saved one of them as his favourite. It was creepy because this man was my father's age and his picture was very similar to that of a mugshot. From that point on, I decided I was done with AA.
To answer your question: I do believe that it is in our biological system to respond (and appreciate) beauty as a means of survival (e.g. reproduction).
i heard about asian avenue, but i didnt know it was for dating sites ? i had it when it was popular about 5 yrs ago xP then it died & everyone moved onto vancouverxchange. :P
It's been a long time since I use AA. I think it's a boring dating site. I'm more interest in checking out interesting blog entries vs people's profile.
People do repond to beauty, however lack discretion with their words.
"Hotter" people don't deserve to be read/spoken to just because they're aesthetically pleasing; of course, as most people would agree, it does help. When you search for people online, what else do you go by if not looks? I know it sounds shallow, but there's barely anything else by which to judge. Yeah, you can have your interests, pet peeves, and all that jazz on your profile, but when people start to figure out they're exaggerated or fake, judging by a pretty face is next in line.
It is, indeed, sad. =[
By the way, does anyone know if Tagged is a dating site? Just curious.
Ack, that'd be a nightmare. I'm a full supporter of online relationships, of long distance relationships, of just about any kind of relationship; but dating websites are honestly.. eh.. not my thing. I would never consider going to one. It seems like so much trouble to surf through profiles, to avoid creeps, etc, just to find one good person out of a million. Again I find myself so happy to already be in a relationship.
Though, really, I think that in a lot of cases - the prettier you are, the better off you are. The pretty little lady in the corner is more likely to be noticed than the average jane in the middle of the room, under a light. Likewise, the more handsome the guy is - the quicker he'll be noticed, and the quicker he'll be swamped by females ( and / or males.)
I mean, if it weren't that way, so many people wouldn't feel the need to get plastic surgery.
Social Psych says that beautiful people get more instant recognition and make better impressions with everyone, including infants, who apparently respond to beautiful people more readily than not-so-beautiful people.
damn, i miss the old aa.. back when it wasn't a dating site. :(
lol i remember asian avenue! when i was like 12 before the days that it was a dating site XD! oh those days
and i know what you mean though. i get comments on my blogs saying things like "i wasnt interested in the topic i just saw your picture and i thought you looked cute" >.>
Everyone responds positively to beauty. It`s the first thing you see when meeting someone new, so it`s the only thing you can judge until you get to know them.
Most people would rather befriend someone beautiful that turns out to have an ugly personality than someone ugly that has an ugly personality. Physical beauty makes up for all other flaws.
Well, an easy way to find out would be to not put a profile pic up.