Sunday, 29 March 2009
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The Craziest Thing I've Done for Love
Long before I ever met the woman I would marry, there was a girl I loved. We met when we were both 16, and I bought some goats from her family. We were never actually a couple - just very good friends - but we shared hopes and dreams in long conversations, and we both knew I would have liked to be more than just friends. It was next to impossible to get to physically spend time together, though, so the relationship was mostly over the phone, and we dated other people. She got engaged.
What she told me of the man she was planning to marry did not impress me. She got married, although I didn't think much of the way the man treated her. Finally, I met someone too, and I was actually newly married when I found out my friend had gotten divorced. My first impulse caused a big ethical dilemma. Should I keep what I had or risk losing it by chasing something I thought I wanted?The first time my then-fiancé met her, it looked to me like they each wanted to slap the other. She told me she did NOT want me to hug my friend, but I did. When we were ready to send invitations, she said she didn't want her at our wedding. I made it clear this was a close friend that would always be part of my life, and I said if she couldn't come, there wouldn't BE a wedding. She ended up not able to come due to weather, as we got married on the coldest day of the year! It didn't help that her husband was terribly jealous of our friendship.
Now, knowing she was divorced, I struggled with whether or not to go after her. My new bride knew I'd long had feelings for this person, so we talked about it. My very understanding wife helped me through it; we stayed together, and those two actually became friendly with each other. So I still have my wife, now for over 24 years, and somewhere out there, a very special lady who I am glad to still have as a friend. Hopefully I will see her someday soon, again.
What is the craziest thing you would do - or have done - for love?
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- From: lonelywanderer2@xanga
- Name: lonelywanderer2
- About Me: A seeker of truth who studies all religions. I love to share my thoughts & beliefs. I respect the truly-held beliefs of all. I will not be the one who says your beliefs are wrong or your god or gods don't exist. I won't stand for others disrespecting them on my site or in my presence either. A thinking man who loves to travel and photograph beauty when I find it. I love all things wild and free. The wolf has symbolized that for me since I can remember. My family swears I am half wolf. I travel where I wish, often alone. If attacked or startled, I snarl and attack, literally. And if you think you hear me growling quietly when we pass each other, you probably do. I do that.
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Comments (42)
I actually had a very similar story, and my now boyfriend was also very understanding about everything. It's awesome :]
Probably keeping a daily journal of everything I did and e-mailing it to my guy so that he would not feel so isolated when he had to return to India for a family gathering. It was pretty weird but I think we learned a lot about each other through journaling in that month he was in India.
Drove 10 hours in the dark, through the mountains to get to another airport so I could get home quicker. And instead ended up getting shot by accident and staying overseas 12 days longer!
Wow,,,so you've loved someone but married another and stayed committed for 24 years? Wow, you are a strong person for not ruining your marriage because of temptations but why write this blog?? Have you been carrying that flame for 24 years too??? I think there is more to it and I think you will always love this person, maybe even more than your wife but timing is just off. Whatever it is, good luck....... I don't have a crazy love story.... I'm still waiting for one. :)
I drove 4 hours in a snowstorm on the actual night of Christmas Eve (8pm ish) to see my love. I am crazy, haha. Very worth it.
I snuck out and stayed over my ex-bf's dorm and had to leave at 4am before my parents woke up. And I climbed through the window :)
Letting him go...
Your wife make the biggest sacrifice, I think.
I support my love in following his dream to join the marines; even though it scares me that I won't be with him, that I may have to raise kids alone, that he will belong to Uncle Sam who can take him from me at any time.
M
@charm2030 - this.
Not being with the man I love... knowing he belongs with his wife. We're fantastic friends, and I hope someday my romantic feelings for him dissolve and leave a simply amazing friendship. I hope I find my true love just as he has found his.
Nothing as of yet ... the time will come and I am sure it is going to be insane and irrational. Since I am insane and irrational... :P
Wasn't this one already posted? Anyhow, I stayed home for college for a guy. Now I'm moving away for another. But shhhhhh.
Dated someone that lived a good 6-7 hour car ride away. Fell in love with him and we planned on marrying- then he dumped me the moment things got tough. I'm so grateful now though that it happened before I had switched colleges to be closer to him- otherwise I wouldn't have ever met my fantastic husband (whom I ditched LOTS of college classes to spend time with! I still graduated stellar grades though; just not stellar attendance haha)
I did a lot of stupid things
the scary thing is, i don't think i was ever in love and i've done some crazy things. so imagine what i would do when i am in love.
Wow.. I didn't do anything crazy. I'm sure I will though.
I wanted to get a band together, write an original song, and sing it to a girl I was in love with 9 years ago. I wanted to have it after school inside the school with rose petals all over the floor of the hallway. On top of that I wanted to give her a dozen roses. We never actually went out but I was pursuing this girl like there was no tomorrow. Unfortunately she ended up breaking my heart so this never actually happened.
What a lovely story. I haven't had any craziness happen with marriage drama, just regular high school drama.
so many things. idk what to do... I thought I was alright but then reading this brings back bad emotions. GRR... I'm still hopeful one day I'll forget about him COMPLETELY. but you know what will be the greatest? If we could somehow end up together, if he was REALLY the one for me and I was the one for HIM.
if he were to read this, he'd probably think it was a little psycho.
First off, congrats on your marriage.
But I want to be honest after I've read what you've written.
I think it's unfair for your wife. You're lucky she didn't leave you after the first day of marriage. I understand you've loved another long before you met your wife, but honestly... You were willing to cancel your wedding just because your wife didn't want your friend to come? Where does your wife stand next to your very good friend?
I was very disappointed when you were questioning whether to keep what you had or risk losing it by chasing after someone else. I understand these things can happen, but it kind of seems like you don't love your wife as much as your good friend. Also, if your wife didn't want someone to come (no matter what the reason is), you should consider her wishes as well.
Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel?
I don't know, that's just how I see it. Please don't take it personally, it's just something I needed to say.
your story's like Cecelia Ahern's novel, Rosie Dunne. Nice story. :)
i totally agree with iGoRAWRRx3.
I feel pretty sorry for your wife that she had to go through something like what you put her through because as a woman I believe it is something very painful even if she doesn't show it out right.
But I'm glad both of you sorted it out and I wish the best for both of you. Just keep in mind that you are really lucky to have such an understanding woman for a wife.
Greetings!
I suppose the craziest thing I did for love was more for school, love just happened to come with it. I traveled across the country for college, where my SO conveniently happened to be. Unfortunately he left me months afterward, but thankfully I was there for other reasons so the blow wasn't as devastating. In the end, I'm glad it happened, because the life I live now is so much better.
Hmm... well it's not crazy, just painful:
I was out of shape, right? And it was mid July, so it was hot out. I walked 11 miles so see my BF of the time. I nearly passed out when I was finally home... XD
I'm a swedish citizen so I go to university for "free", books are not free.
We were together for 2 and a half years, and my parents decided that I should go to Sweden for a year, at least, and get my education here so it won't cost a buttload. We have been together for three years now, and I'm unable to keep this long distance relationship, so I'm moving back to the states so we can be together. I have to pay tuition and start over as a freshman.
I'm giving up free education for him.