All right, so I feel the need to touch on this.
I've never been a victim of domestic abuse or any kind of abuse, but in light of the Rihanna/Chris Brown incident, I think we need to talk about exactly how important it is for victims of abuse to get help.
DoSomething.org, an organization that sponsors causes ranging from disaster response and relief to violence and bullying, has stepped up to the plate and started the
1 in 3 Campaign, which focuses mainly on dating abuse and prevention. According to the site, one in three teens is abused in a relationship, and 80% stick around after they've been abused. To fight dating abuse and bring about awareness, DoSomething has organized the distribution of abuse prevention bracelets - two black and one blue to represent the comparative figures. You can order yours
here.
I've already ordered five packets.
(ed's note: Do Something is the best nonprofit ever!)
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Comments (9)
My best friend was often verbally abused by her boyfriend.. once in a while it'd lead to a bit of physical abuse. She'd say it was nothing serious.. luckily she only saw him in person for two months out of the year they were together. I'd tell her to stay away from him but she'd been with him so long that she didn't think she could be without him.
She's moved on now and found someone who loves her and treats her how she deserves to be treated.. I'm so glad that she's away from him now..
I'm glad you're posting about this.. these things need to be put out in the open.
While I applaud the idea of awareness I think the hand bracelets are overdone. They're now abused as fashion statements.
@tigerdauphin@xanga - One better. Bracelets never fucking did ANYTHING at all. I can never understand why people who get something like a pink bracelet for breast cancer really believe they're doing something towards the cause. "I walk for cancer!" Does not mean "I'm studying the cause and working to solve the problem!"
My thing: It took the Rhianna/Chris Brown situation to get you involved in the fight against domestic abuse? This shit's been going on LONG before those two twerps got involved with each other and it's going to exist long after they're gone. The cure starts with yourself. All bracelets are going to do is make people aware of a cause. That's it! Victims won't easily talk about this because of the SO. Not for the reasons you might think of; but it's kind of because well, imagine your boyfriend having one violent incident against you. All good times, one bad incident. Would you REALLY leave? If you could, can you say the same for others? Saying is always easier than doing.
As for the thing in question. I've found that at least 3/5 people in abusive relationships go back/stick with them like jackasses. 2/5 stay out of fear of violence from their Significant Others, so the idea of helping out against dating/domestic abuse is something I can't really get behind. From first-hand experience (my own this time), I've found two outcomes stem:
A) I get ignored/laughed at and my friend in question gets annoyed at me, so I lose my friend for opening my mouth. Works especially well on those bullshit artists who will easily twist my words into something negative.
B), The S.O. in question gets irritated and puts her in greater risk and in turn gets her in more trouble than she deserves.
It's easy to try to get involved, but situations like this are a mine-field. You can't walk in there and tell people about the problem and just walk out expecting the problem to be solved healthily. These situations are things you need to plan out and aren't easily solved by bracelets. Sounds like a goddamn scam if anything else.
@tigerdauphin@xanga - Agreed. What needs to be done is intervention between the abuser and the abuse. That is a form of help, not fashioning yourself.
Funding for education on abuse and how to stop it - safe houses for the abused who are dependent on the abuser.
From experience, I can say that sometimes people feel like if they leave their abuser, they will be in even more danger.
Bracelets don't make me feel safer...if I saw someone with those bracelets, I wouldn't connect it to abuse.
M
i hate the bracelet idea. i will agree that they are over done
thought the cause is great unless another person understands what it represents others will just think it's a fashion statement
but everyone like oprah said
"if i man hits you once he WILL hit you again"
I think that raising awarness (although it means well) can't do to much. From personal expierence, it is really embarassing to admit that the guy you love (or think you love?) is causing you so much pain. What awarness maybe is better at, is giving both women and men a sense that there is someone out there who can help them. Like a shelter or something.
Also, for the bracelets. I know the pervious comments are againt them thinking it is "fashionable" or whatever because people try and make trends out of them. But I think the money used to purchase the bracelet helps those researching for cancer cures/starting shelters/whatever. I don't have any, but I think that is what is behind them. It gets annoying though when people wear 12 on each wrist. And sometimes it is personal too. My uncle died of AIDS and my dad still wears his red AIDS bracelet. I know not all people at like that, but for others it really is touching and personal.
i agree that it's important to spread the facts about dating abuse more.
I think that more people need to be aware of this issue, I really do. It's just not that easy to make somebody leave somebody who they love over something like that. They won't think it's that big of a deal. I mean, it'll hurt them and they'll feel horrible, but they always convince themselves that the person won't do it again, they didn't mean it, they really love them, or that they deserved being hit to begin with. :/