I was thinking about Fever Pitch the other day. It's based on a Nick Hornby memoir of the same name - in Nick's version, he's obsessed with Premiership soccer, whereas in the movie, Jimmy Fallon's character Ben is obsessed with the Boston Red Sox. Here's the trailer:
It's not as schmaltzy as the trailer makes it out to be, I promise. But while the whole thing seems a little chick flicky, the overall premise is still plausible - how do you relate to (or cultivate a relationship with) someone so concerned with one very specific interest?
Have you ever walked out on a relationship because you were always second to something or someone? Where do you draw the line?
I remember that movie. I once thought that my boyfriend's love for music would get in the way, but it really hasn't. He seems to love me, more :P
I would draw the line on an unhealthy habit such as constant negative self-consciousness. I really hate hearing the same negative shit over and over again about something you're unable to change.
that was suchhhhhhhhhhhh a good movie, I loved it! Well he did realize his obsession when she left him right, so I guess that's what matters in the end lol I've never been with anyone like that though so I wouldn't know. Some level of passion for something is acceptable but not full on obsession where nothing else in the world matters anymore!
my exbf was kind of like that.. he was really passionate about his hobbies and would often choose them over me. i don't know if i'm really mad about that though, since there is only so much free time he has and i must say his hobbies really were very interesting... (once he built a potato cannon)
I'm sure people can relate to me when I say this: My exboyfriend was addicted to World of Warcraft.
It was all we did when I was at his house. When we talked on the phone, he was playing it. When I wanted to go out and try to figure out when we could, he'd cancel the plans because he was raiding! It was so lame.
I can safely say that it caused a hitch in the relationship. We didn't break up because of it, but it was a factor in our downfall.
Fever Pitch was a great movie and I think it was insanely relatible to where I was at that point in my life.
My boyfriend and his love for playing basketball. One time he was suppose to help me pack and move out of my apartment and he decided that he was going to play basketball first and then come over...I was so pissed because not only did I need help moving boxes, I needed help packing them!
Have you ever walked out on a relationship because you were always second to something or someone?
I was in a relationship were I was second to his girlfriend. No, I'm not a boyfriend stealer or any of that sort. I don't tolerate cheating and I don't encourage others to cheat on their significant other.
Simply put, I got played and found out I was his "in state" girlfriend while he already had a girlfriend in his hometown when he moved to where I was located - not for me but for other reasons.
I dropped him so fast he didn't even have time to blink when I found out.
That has never happened to me before, so I can't say where I draw the line.
My ex often chose xbox over me.
Two letters
TV
@tubbz87Â - I got my boyfriend an xbox 360 for Christmas. What a terrible idea.
Hmm, I'm sometimes put second when it comes to well, 1. when my boyfriend wants to smoke or 2. when my boyfriend wants to drink or 3. all of the above, but it doesn't really bother me anymore I guess? I used to go bonkers over it, but now not really. I guess I drew a line, not break up wise, but I just stopped caring and got used to the fact that I need to just chill? BUT it's also because I know everyone he'd usually go and do that stuff with, they love me, AND #2 is usually with me now. Go figure :3
Yes. I'll walk if I feel like he's not paying enough attention to me because he's doing other things. Walk. Walk. Walk.
hmm... football.
When there's a game on, he barely notices I'm there or not. Even when I bring him food, he just eats it w/o realizing how it got there. *shakes head*
Sports or games like World of Warcraft. But he does put his WoW aside when I'm talking to him or spending time with him... he betterr aha (:
In eighth grade (not that legitimate, I know) my boyfriend started a band and it was all he cared about. After a month+ I couldn't take it anymore. I became distant and when a past crush of mine started noticing me, that was it.
With my last ex, I just let him ignore me until the obsessions went away. Turns out I was just one of them in the end.
WoW.. he's basically over it now and it doesn't really affect us anymore..
one thing: when you like WoW more than sex, there's a problem.
I usually like most of the same things as my partners so I just embrace their hobbies :D
@bekaaahblastoff@xanga - I wish it was that easy. I'm terrible at video games. The only two that I've ever liked playing were Heavenly Sword and Mirror's Edge. Maybe it's because the main character is a girl? I don't know. Anyway, I could sit and watch him play either of those all day long, but he's beaten them both and doesn't want to play them anymore =( He's real big on Call of Duty 4, online. I think that's the most boring game ever. l0l. But thanks for the tip =)
Video games and food are never a problem, and never will be. We both love them too much! We enjoy it together; never a problem. He just works a lot. :( And that, indeed, gets in the way.
@polarisrain and everyone else with gamer guys: I've had one addicted-- and we broke up over it, but it was more complicated than that. Another addicted to internet games in general, but so am I sometimes and we've worked through it. It sucks when guys ditch you for games. Let 'em know it's a problem at the very beginning and you'll come to a compromise. It seems the longer you endure the problem, the harder it is for them to understand why it's suddenly (when it came to their attention) an issue.
Examples: Two guys obsessed with WoW. Both not giving you the time you want, and here's why--
Guy One is obsessed because OWNING FACE was his life prior to your existence, and OWNING FACE he must do no matter what. It's understandible. Work out a "me" time. Play the game. I'm sure no addiction would go so far as to keep him from you 24/7, otherwise how'd you guys hook-up in the first place? This obsession is manageable.
Guy Two is obsessed because of internet friends or a girl he's been having an on-and-off again "internet romance" with, and cannot seem to pull away from being logged in at his usual times because they've always expected him and always have been loyal. You're real, they.. have yet to be met. This obsession could be unmanageable.
Either way, if he really likes you, there's always a way to fix it and he'll try. Otherwise he's a jerk. Dump him. =o
wow i wanna watch that now!
@chPanda@xanga - THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND! He won't stop playing basketball. He has ditched me for basketball before, or forgotten about plans we had because he was too involved in the game. He's even left me sitting on the street for over an hour after I got off of work late at night because he forgot that he needed to come pick me up.
Stupid basketball.
Pot, anyone?
It's not just the fact that he smokes that bothers me. It's that he smokes it a lot, sometimes every day, sometimes 3+ times a day. Sometimes I'll be over at his house, and he'll leave me alone in his room while he goes to smoke with his friends, claiming he'll be back "soon" but really not getting back for hours. When he does get back at 3am, he wants me to give him a blowjob, only to have me down there for a half hour and getting no results because, for some reason, he can't come when he's high. And when he isn't smoking pot, he's talking about smoking pot. Whenever we go anywhere, "aww, man, this wallpaper is so awesome, it would be so sweet if I were high." He even tells complete strangers what a pothead he is!
And this is all just how it's affecting us now, while we're in college. I have such a hard time seeing us having a future together because of his pot obsession. I don't want him smoking or being high around our kids. What if he gets drug tested at work and he loses his job? Will I have to get a second job? I don't want to have to constantly fear for our financial security because of his illegal hobby. He's asked me if I'd be okay with him staying home with the children (what, so he can teach them to roll a blunt?) and me working, and giving him a little "allowance" every week for his "habit." Um, no. What if he gets arrested? Am I going to have to visit my husband in jail?
So, when he asked me the other night what I would say if he asked me to marry him, I said, "yes, but no more drugs." And you know what? He didn't so much as blink at the yes, but he keeps asking me about the "no drugs" part. "Not even marijuana?" like it doesn't count or something. "It's not gonna happen, you should just accept it and let me do it!" Yeah, totally unreasonable of me to require that, in exchange for getting to be with me for the rest of his life, my future husband should not do drugs. What was I thinking?
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I remember that movie.
I once thought that my boyfriend's love for music would get in the way, but it really hasn't. He seems to love me, more :P
I would draw the line on an unhealthy habit such as constant negative self-consciousness. I really hate hearing the same negative shit over and over again about something you're unable to change.
that was suchhhhhhhhhhhh a good movie, I loved it!
Well he did realize his obsession when she left him right, so I guess that's what matters in the end lol
I've never been with anyone like that though so I wouldn't know. Some level of passion for something is acceptable but not full on obsession where nothing else in the world matters anymore!
my exbf was kind of like that.. he was really passionate about his hobbies and would often choose them over me. i don't know if i'm really mad about that though, since there is only so much free time he has and i must say his hobbies really were very interesting... (once he built a potato cannon)
I'm sure people can relate to me when I say this: My exboyfriend was addicted to World of Warcraft.
It was all we did when I was at his house. When we talked on the phone, he was playing it. When I wanted to go out and try to figure out when we could, he'd cancel the plans because he was raiding! It was so lame.
I can safely say that it caused a hitch in the relationship. We didn't break up because of it, but it was a factor in our downfall.
Fever Pitch was a great movie and I think it was insanely relatible to where I was at that point in my life.
My boyfriend and his love for playing basketball. One time he was suppose to help me pack and move out of my apartment and he decided that he was going to play basketball first and then come over...I was so pissed because not only did I need help moving boxes, I needed help packing them!
Have you ever walked out on a relationship because you were always second to something or someone?
I was in a relationship were I was second to his girlfriend. No, I'm not a boyfriend stealer or any of that sort. I don't tolerate cheating and I don't encourage others to cheat on their significant other.
Simply put, I got played and found out I was his "in state" girlfriend while he already had a girlfriend in his hometown when he moved to where I was located - not for me but for other reasons.
I dropped him so fast he didn't even have time to blink when I found out.
That has never happened to me before, so I can't say where I draw the line.
My ex often chose xbox over me.
Two letters
TV
Hmm, I'm sometimes put second when it comes to well, 1. when my boyfriend wants to smoke or 2. when my boyfriend wants to drink or 3. all of the above, but it doesn't really bother me anymore I guess? I used to go bonkers over it, but now not really. I guess I drew a line, not break up wise, but I just stopped caring and got used to the fact that I need to just chill? BUT it's also because I know everyone he'd usually go and do that stuff with, they love me, AND #2 is usually with me now. Go figure :3
Yes. I'll walk if I feel like he's not paying enough attention to me because he's doing other things. Walk. Walk. Walk.
hmm... football.
When there's a game on, he barely notices I'm there or not. Even when I bring him food, he just eats it w/o realizing how it got there. *shakes head*
Sports or games like World of Warcraft. But he does put his WoW aside when I'm talking to him or spending time with him... he betterr aha (:
In eighth grade (not that legitimate, I know) my boyfriend started a band and it was all he cared about. After a month+ I couldn't take it anymore. I became distant and when a past crush of mine started noticing me, that was it.
With my last ex, I just let him ignore me until the obsessions went away. Turns out I was just one of them in the end.
WoW.. he's basically over it now and it doesn't really affect us anymore..
one thing: when you like WoW more than sex, there's a problem.
@abh816@xanga - Just play it with him :)
I usually like most of the same things as my partners so I just embrace their hobbies :D
@bekaaahblastoff@xanga - I wish it was that easy. I'm terrible at video games. The only two that I've ever liked playing were Heavenly Sword and Mirror's Edge. Maybe it's because the main character is a girl? I don't know. Anyway, I could sit and watch him play either of those all day long, but he's beaten them both and doesn't want to play them anymore =( He's real big on Call of Duty 4, online. I think that's the most boring game ever. l0l. But thanks for the tip =)
Video games and food are never a problem, and never will be. We both love them too much! We enjoy it together; never a problem. He just works a lot. :( And that, indeed, gets in the way.
@polarisrain and everyone else with gamer guys: I've had one addicted-- and we broke up over it, but it was more complicated than that. Another addicted to internet games in general, but so am I sometimes and we've worked through it. It sucks when guys ditch you for games. Let 'em know it's a problem at the very beginning and you'll come to a compromise. It seems the longer you endure the problem, the harder it is for them to understand why it's suddenly (when it came to their attention) an issue.
Examples: Two guys obsessed with WoW. Both not giving you the time you want, and here's why--
Guy One is obsessed because OWNING FACE was his life prior to your existence, and OWNING FACE he must do no matter what. It's understandible. Work out a "me" time. Play the game. I'm sure no addiction would go so far as to keep him from you 24/7, otherwise how'd you guys hook-up in the first place? This obsession is manageable.
Guy Two is obsessed because of internet friends or a girl he's been having an on-and-off again "internet romance" with, and cannot seem to pull away from being logged in at his usual times because they've always expected him and always have been loyal. You're real, they.. have yet to be met. This obsession could be unmanageable.
Either way, if he really likes you, there's always a way to fix it and he'll try. Otherwise he's a jerk. Dump him. =o
wow i wanna watch that now!
@chPanda@xanga - THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND! He won't stop playing basketball. He has ditched me for basketball before, or forgotten about plans we had because he was too involved in the game. He's even left me sitting on the street for over an hour after I got off of work late at night because he forgot that he needed to come pick me up.
Stupid basketball.
Pot, anyone?
It's not just the fact that he smokes that bothers me. It's that he smokes it a lot, sometimes every day, sometimes 3+ times a day. Sometimes I'll be over at his house, and he'll leave me alone in his room while he goes to smoke with his friends, claiming he'll be back "soon" but really not getting back for hours. When he does get back at 3am, he wants me to give him a blowjob, only to have me down there for a half hour and getting no results because, for some reason, he can't come when he's high. And when he isn't smoking pot, he's talking about smoking pot. Whenever we go anywhere, "aww, man, this wallpaper is so awesome, it would be so sweet if I were high." He even tells complete strangers what a pothead he is!
And this is all just how it's affecting us now, while we're in college. I have such a hard time seeing us having a future together because of his pot obsession. I don't want him smoking or being high around our kids. What if he gets drug tested at work and he loses his job? Will I have to get a second job? I don't want to have to constantly fear for our financial security because of his illegal hobby. He's asked me if I'd be okay with him staying home with the children (what, so he can teach them to roll a blunt?) and me working, and giving him a little "allowance" every week for his "habit." Um, no. What if he gets arrested? Am I going to have to visit my husband in jail?
So, when he asked me the other night what I would say if he asked me to marry him, I said, "yes, but no more drugs." And you know what? He didn't so much as blink at the yes, but he keeps asking me about the "no drugs" part. "Not even marijuana?" like it doesn't count or something. "It's not gonna happen, you should just accept it and let me do it!" Yeah, totally unreasonable of me to require that, in exchange for getting to be with me for the rest of his life, my future husband should not do drugs. What was I thinking?