Tuesday, 24 March 2009
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Cinderella Causes Mass Hysteria among Single Girls
Why do so many people let romantic relationships control their happiness? A lot of people I know have to have a love interest, otherwise they are sad, depressed, thinking the world is ending, etc. I used to be one of these poor suckers too, and my life feels so much more fulfilling now that I dropped the idea that I NEEDED a man. You know what relationships have always brought me? Heartache. I started off sad, not wanting to be alone. A man came along and we had a whirlwind romance. It ended…back to the heartache. I started to wonder why I placed so much importance on finding true love. That’s when I started to look around me at the other people in my life. From day one, everyone had always put importance on finding a good man, getting married, living happily ever after. It' s accepted that you start off as Cinderella, Prince Charming finds you…and no one ever mentions that Cinderella doesn't exist.
I have several friends who are constantly sad because they say they're lonely. I imagine they tell all their friends how lonely they are. What is the cause of this loneliness? Oh, they're single. Wait...so being single is depression worthy? How can you be lonely when you have friends who listen to your constant moping and complaining? It makes me feel like I don't count. By the way they talk, the only thing that matters in their life is having that "special someone". An excuse I've heard for wanting a man is that they didn't want to grow old alone. Girl, I'm going to be there for you no matter what. You cry? I'll be by your side. You're in the hospital? I’ll be right there. When you get that big bonus at work for being so fabulous? I'm going to go out to dinner with you and help you spend it. When that loser breaks your heart? I'm going to help you through it. That's why you have friends, so you're never alone!
Did you know there are some really awesome cures out there for loneliness, unhappiness, boredom and depression? Hobbies! Do you expect your significant other to be a hobby? Do you browse dating sites at 1 a.m. hoping to find the latest amusement in your life? Get a hobby. No, I'm serious. And hey, you can even go out with your friends! Remember them? You know, the ones you bitch to about being lonely... go out with them. I hear it's a great cure for loneliness.
Find things that make YOU happy. Find things that don't depend on your having a man/woman.
As soon as I stopped putting so much importance on finding a man, I found things that made me truly happy: Hearing my son's laugh and seeing him smile, warm sunny days where it's not too hot or not too cold, only shaving my legs every other day because no man is going to be rubbing on them!
If you stop whining and stop trying to force relationships...hey, you just might find someone! Because if you don't stop now, you will scare off your potential love interest with all your depressive talk about how your life sucks because you have no one.
You need to be an independent, self-sufficient person to be able to last in a relationship. Don't count on ANYONE for your own personal happiness. Just think of how crazy it sounds for you to judge whether the day is going to be good or not depending on if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Are you guilty of this?
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- From: blogsmack@xanga
- Name: Cassie Wildman
- About Me: I am young, but not dumb. I need an outlet, but not the electrical kind.
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Comments (34)
It has been found that people in relationships are generally happier than people who are not. Source: My gender psychology class. Book: The Psychology of Women
i've always loved my independence. i've never really craved a relationship, but am content when in one...and yet not...but that's the whole case of wanting what one doesn't have at that particular moment. ^_^
I'll admit that. It's really hard esp right after a break up to be happy, that's somewhat expected. I agree that you shouldn't count on anyone for your happiness. When they leave, they're taking your happiness with you. That shouldn't happen.
Thanks for posting this, I needed to hear it. Hahahaa.
I was very independent... a year ago, then I got a boyfriend. I wasn't a girl who actively seeked out a relationship though. He sort of just appeared... lol
I really don't want a relationship right now. But I have wanted one in the past. There would be some guy, I'd fall for him, and then find out he didn't feel the same way and I'd feel absolutely crushed. I don't think it was so much that I had to have a man, I just would meet someone interesting, fall too hard, and make a fool of myself.
Heck, yeah. Hobbies are the cure. Like I said to someone, how I cured my broken heart was putting my effort into making music. Or taking out the trash. Something that consumes your thoughts.
♥
:D
GREAT post.
Cinderella IS in fact, my favorite Disney princess.
but I am 23 years old. I am single, I am independent. I pay my own bills. I do not wallow in my loneliness.
thank you thank you thank you.
once again, great post.
This is so true. It is so much easier to be alone! Really...
I'm much happier when I'm in a relationship, honestly. To have that someone to talk to all the time, to love you, to share things with you and so on. Doesn't mean I NEED a boyfriend or that I can't be happy alone with friends. But I know personally that I'm happier when I have someone to share my life with. Of course, most of the time it ends in heartache unfortunately..:(
And my life goal is not to have someone take care of me, or to find my husband because omggggggg I will die aloneeee. No it's not like that. It's just an amazing feeling to have someone by your side.
i've never felt like that... to tell the truth, sometimes when i'm in a relationship i feel suffocated and i miss being single.
@Powerpal2015@xanga - They may be. My point was that you need to be happy with yourself first. I'm sure I would be a lot happier if my knight in shining armor bought me a mansion and a big engagement ring.... but alas... this isn't currently the case. What I was trying to say is that it's important for you to make your own happiness, not expect someone else to bring it. Having a relationship isn't the answer to all....
@Charity_the_So_Called_Artist@xanga - See! This is how it should be!
"You need to be an independent, self-sufficient person to be able to
last in a relationship. Don't count on ANYONE for your own personal
happiness."
i LOVE this post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haha, I admit I was guilty of this. There are many xanga posts of mine that whined about wishing I had a boyfriend.
Now I met a really nice guy, when I wasn't thinking about it so much and not putting so much importance on finding a boyfriend.
there are people who need to be reminded that they don't need another person to be the person they are.
go watch "The Perfect Man"
You need to be an independent, self-sufficient person to be able to
last in a relationship. Don't count on ANYONE for your own personal
happiness. Just think of how crazy it sounds for you to judge whether
the day is going to be good or not depending on if you have a
boyfriend/girlfriend.
I could have sworn to god that I was the only one thinking along those lines! I will never fall to this trap, but there are people who are just in love with being in love.
I've yet to have a girlfriend and I have yet to be miserable about it.
I used to be kinda guilty of that. Now I'm loving the single life and think of being in relationships as being tied down, haha!
@blogsmack@xanga - I agree. And I was just simply stating the facts. My opinion- You cannot be happy in any situation unless you are happy with yourself. (Some singularities may exist, but it generally holds)
In today's society, the 2nd most important thing according to media is that you need love to be happy. While love is amazing to have, its not essential. I can say that when I was younger, I did think that finding that "perfect" person was the only thing that would make me content. But growing up, I finally began to know myself. I found that my friends were absolutely amazing, and that I could enjoy life by myself just as much as with a boyfriend. Right now, I'm with a really good guy. But I'm not dependent on him to fulfill my entire day. I can do that perfectly well on my own. Very good post, I know friends that are like that, and I hope that they will soon find that they can be happy just by themselves. :)
I am definitely not guilty of this. I only have one or two friends who aren't that way, the rest of them think that they need to be in a relationship to be happy. I have one friend, specifically, who - while moping after a breakup - is already looking for somebody else because she thinks that she needs to be in a relationship to do anything.
If you can't do stuff on your own, such as survive and be happy, how can you be worth anything in a relationship? I mean, if you don't have your own hobbies.. what are you going to do, expect the other person to come up with all the ideas?
It's not Cinderella's fault, though. Likewise, it's not any other fairy tales fault that girls have that opinion. They don't have to go along with a story like that.
@Powerpal2015@xanga - generally happier...But they can become generally more depressed when the r/s don't work out...haha
@kuroinamida@xanga - True, but we've developed coping mechanisms for dealing with depression. We don't have them to deal with happiness.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. :)
hey i like cinderella!! LOL
there's nothing wrong with being single and there's nothing wrong with being in a relationship. there's only something wrong with desperation, which makes you forget things like self-respect