Monday, 23 March 2009
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Girls, What's An Ideal First Date for You?
I'm a guy, and I've found the toughest thing about asking a girl out is figuring out what to do for the first date. Usually people go for either the dinner...or movie...or the cup of coffee in Starbucks routine, but that seems cliche. The dilemma I'm always faced with is that if you don't know the person that well, you don't want to try and pick something more interesting and interactive when the comfort zone just isn't there yet. The typical date ideas just seem like safer bets. However, a lot of times, these typical first date locations feel like job interviews, and I think it's often a recipe for boredom. How is a guy supposed to stand out to a girl by picking the same thing the 10 guys before him picked?
My question to girls is, what is the ideal first date for you? What should guys be asking you out to do, and what makes you roll your eyes or run for it?
My question to guys is, what first date ideas have worked best for you?
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Comments (89)
if it's summer, going to the beach or boardwalk is a lot of fun. If not, movies then dessert is always good because there's less pressure to talk
a kiss and then lots and lots of sex... ending the evening with a marriage proposal
how about going miniature golfing or bowling. something interactive so it doesn't feel like a job interview. also, why must meeting up include lunch or dinner, why not late afternoon snack such as getting coffee or yogurt.
My ultimate first date would be going for a half hour run, then going for breakfast, lunch or coffee. Running is great because there's no pressure to talk, but it's really easy to spend the entire run just chatting, and it shows we have common interests (and frankly, athletic guys are just plain sexy).
doesn't matter. who i date with is the main point. where and what to do are not that important. A good place with lots of atmosphere but if the man is boring, just still boring.
hmmm i still think movie would be a best bet.
i mean, first dates are sometimes awkward, nothing to talk about. but with the movie, at least, there's a topic to get the conversation started?
and probably after that, late supper or something? :D
My ideal first date would actually be slightly different than most peoples. My ideal first date would be baking with my potential SO and watching a movie, just something relaxing that would allow us time to talk and see if there is anything there.
I like the mini-golf/bowling idea because you get to compete with each other and see how the other person reacts to winning/losing. It keeps things light-hearted (hopefully) and you're not straining for conversation topics. Going along with that theme, going to Dave & Buster's/Jillian's would be a good bet too.
@El_Prego_Nikki@xanga - that would be fun too. making dinner/baking and renting a movie
@vaaalll@xanga - well, that's true..if it's the first date and you don't really know the guy.
@El_Prego_Nikki@xanga - I'd really like that too. Cooking together is always lots of fun.
I actually like the coffee thing but, you're right, it can get tired. So, if it's possible, doing something like an art gallery, where you can talk but you also have things to talk about: the art on the wall. That way, if you run out of things to say about your life or questions about his, you can just talk about why that woman is wearing black in the portrait.
I was also thinking, if you're both interested in something you should incorporate that. For instance, if you both like photography, take your cameras and go for a walk around the city shooting together.
me i lyke to do the koffee dayte furst thangÂ
i sayv the drivin moviez & strip klubz for the 2nd dayte
I think something original would be flying kites. Icecream is also a nice bonus.
:)
(Plus, this is a pretty cheap date. Which is good for you)
we went to a theme park =D
there are ALL types of rides, even if she ends up being scared of roller coasters or something *shrug*
but then, I'm kinda hyper and probably wouldn't have done well on a sit-still type of date =D haha and i fall asleep in movies sometimes =D
AND! he knew all of that, because we attend the same church =D
@flowerspushthrudirt@xanga - that sounds like SO much fun!!!!
What is the ideal first date for you?
Honestly, I just like hanging out and getting to know them, the setting isn't very important to me...coffee shop, library, bookstore, just walking around a shopping center, etc. My current guy took a chance and took me on a bike ride (he had an extra bike) to a park and then pulled a picnic and a kite out of his backpack! I would never have thought of something like that and it was so much fun; it really appealed to my silly side. For him it was also a test to see if I would like the same kind of things he does...if i wasn't light-hearted and open-minded, it wouldn't have worked, so he guessed right :D
What
should guys be asking you out to do, and what makes you roll your eyes
or run for it?
Something thoughtful and personal, since I hope I would at least know the guy taking me out...dinner and a movie is stock, and great if you are on a blind date (hard to go wrong) but it's a little dull. Appeal to my interests (which involves getting to know me beforehand, be it through messages, AIM, class, club meeting, whatever) and I will be more likely to take a chance; it also shows me that you are considerate and more than just passing-interested in a pretty face :D
Getting romantic too quickly is a turn-off...I automatically don't trust the guys who are the sweep-you-off-your-feet types, or the ones who talk the entire time. If you can't handle a moment of silence in comfort and grace, you're out.
Other turn-offs include: overly coarse language, dirty fingernails/clothes, lewd jokes, bad table manners, mumbling, not meeting my eyes, getting too hands-on too soon...basic bad behaviours ha
I think every girl (and guy!) is slightly different in what they like, though (and i am very particular!).
My boyfriend and I went on our first date to the zoo. It was a lot of fun. We were able to wander through the exhibits (the penguins are my favorite!) and talk when we wanted to. We then went to dinner and watched a movie afterwards.
It was absolutely perfect and I loved it -- obviously!
It depends how well you know that person before you start dating. It seems like you are talking about "getting to know you" dates. In those cases, avoid movie theaters at all costs. You would just be sitting in a dark room ignoring each other. I think the best way to get to know someone is just hanging out with them. Think of something simple on your to do list (such as shopping for something specific). Then just spend the day walking around together looking for it, occasionally stopping for snacks or coffee. This might seem boring but it gives you a chance to get to bounce ideas off things you see and perhaps make some witty commentary. It's less pressure than having an interview style date at starbucks, thinking of funny things to say. After walking around for a while you will have worked up an appetite (and hopefully walked by a few restaurants). Just pick one that is nearby to eat at. In the end, even if the date didn't go too well, you would have completely something from your to-do list. Of course if everything kept going well through dinner, you could do whatever after.
The only "dates" i've ever had were at McDonalds and Burger King, :\
On my first date, I went ice skating. There is a local indoor ice skating rink that us two and our friends go to weekly because it is just fun. He ended up asking me out there and we went back the next week for the first date. You could skate together alone and talk, or so buy yourselves hot chocolate at the snack bar. It was such a simple and normal thing for us that we ending up going there frequently. Plus, with a few friends around, it could also get rid of any awkward vibes and could go to them for a few minutes if you need to ask any questions about what to do. It is alos just a lot of fun being with your friends.
A picnic, or trip to a museum/zoo are both great ideas.
I just went on a first date this past weekend. he took me ice skating then we walked around town and got ice cream. It was really sweet and a second date is now in the works. =D
i only had one date ever in baskin robbins.. ice cream is awesome!!! super fun!! :)
Generally, I'd say it depends on the person but as you suggested, it might not be easy in gauging what he/she is interested in if you haven't known them for long enough. Nonetheless, below are just a few creative suggestions I came up with; perhaps they are suitable for perusal!
If you're looking for really unique ideas, just check your local city guide and usually there will be a winter/summer guide to events in your area which is great fodder for date ideas :)
- Picnic or just walking around at a scenic park
- Bike riding (plan the route!)
- Fairgrounds if there are any in your area
- Skating (indoor or outdoor but I prefer outdoor especially if the rink is by the water =D)
- Baking/cooking a meal
- Watch free fireworks somewhere
- Go to a drive-thru/outdoor screening of a movie
- See a play/ballet/performance
- Go to the zoo or any type of museum
- Have dinner at a unique, non-mainstream restaurant
- Go to a sports game (if you share an affinity for sports)
- Attending any festivals/shows that are currently futured in your city
Cheers!
I think any date where a guy just gives it a little bit of thought is ideal. If you know ANYTHING at all about the girl, such as her favourite type of food or her hobbies, try and incorporate some of those ideas into the date--I think it shows that you've thought about the girl, even just a little bit.
I think it's also important to provide some choices, to give your date a say in the matter. For example, if you know she likes Italian food, come up with a few restaurant ideas (and maybe different types of restaurants, like a more romantic setting or a fun setting, etc. depending on what 'mood' you'd like the date to take on) for her to choose from or ask her to recommend a place. It'll show you're interested in what she prefers AND that you've taken the time to do your research...
If it's a blind date, just come up with a few generic, but varied, choices for places to eat and things to do.
In the end, it's not really about WHAT we do--that's more the icing on the cake--but the COMPANY we keep. 'Cus let's face it: it doesn't matter how romantic your date is if your date just isn't interested in you, or vice versa...
The typical dates that goes to "dinner" or the "movies" bores me. My ideal date would be going to Dave and Busters or something similar to that. We can both interact, have loads of fun, and have a drink and a bite to eat while we converse with each other. Plus, it's a major icebreaker. By the time we know it, we'll be comfortable with each other.