Miss OstrichSo like I said in
previous posts, I love dating nerds and intellectuals, though sometimes they make me feel dumb. Even so, I love listening to my boyfriend talk about the inner workings of his record player, how he restored his grandfather's one-hundred year old
Victrola and the philosophies of Nietzsche and Darwin. I don't know enough to respond, but he enjoys talking, and I love listening.
Lately, however, he's been acting very different.
He's switched from lecturing to being very silly all the time, and he rarely talks like he used to. I like when he's being cute and tickling me or bantering nonsense words back and forth once in a while. It breaks up the seriousness of our conversations, but to have a super silly guy all of a sudden is getting exhausting. It feels like I'm dealing with a child, not a twenty-year-old man. I try to talk to him about what he's reading, and instead of answering me, he starts singing, or dancing or something similar.
I asked him to stop, but he's becoming sillier by the day. I miss my old professorly boyfriend. I don't understand the sudden change, and I'm not sure how to ask him what's going on. Either way I love him, but I'm worried he's not telling me something. I'm afraid he thinks I'm too stupid to understand.
Should I just straight out ask him why he's being so silly all of a sudden or just let it go? Have you ever dated someone who suddenly switched personalities for the worse (or better)?
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Comments (33)
If it bothers you so much, just ask him. Maybe this is part of the real him. Maybe he's just a silly, extremely intelligent man. Maybe he's just so comfortable with you that he feels like he can let you see him as he is without being judged. Or maybe he's covering up a problem. Haha, whatever it is, communication is key. At least, someone always says it is...probably because it's true. Good luck!
Let it go. You complained the professor made you feel dumb, now he's a manchild Let him have his silly fun. You may be dealing with a straight up free spirit.
Better off asking him about than keeping it to yourself. It may sound selfish, but you deserve to have what you want too sometimes. Maybe he thinks you're getting sick of him being too professorly, or maybe he is just so comfortable around you that he feels he can be more of himself. Or maybe it's something else that I haven't thought of. Either way, though, communication is key. Relationships don't thrive on inactivity, they thrive on activity, communication being considered activity.
@xxthatsmexx@xanga - Yeah, it's true, communication is definitely the peanut butter holding the two pieces of bread together.
I chronically have a hard time telling people when I've got a problem with something they are doing, but the few times that I manage to bring it up right away, it always works out better!
Maybe he's bored with being all intellectual.
But yeah, like the previous person says, maybe he's comfortable with being silly with you. Like he can show you he can have fun and not be Mr Serious all the time.
Beats me...
Maybe he wants more attention from you than he feels he's getting from you just listening to him babble?
Maybe he's tired of being so serious. If you're so insecure as to be afraid to ask him something for fear that he will think you're stupid, then you've got bigger issues than this. Just ask him!
He's probably acting that way because he read your entries (you know, previous posts a.k.a. the sex with the ex-boyfriend.)
Oh, wait. Sorry, I meant the other author.
Aww, maybe he likes you ^_^
Drop that chump and date a real man haha.lol uhh maybe he's on the pot :/
oh there's some cats prowling around in here meeeeow. stay right there while I strike you directly in the face with a lemon :p
Should I just straight out ask him why he's being so silly all of a sudden or just let it go?
A: Nothing wrong with a bit of silliness in anybody! FIRSTHAND KNOWLEDGE: DO NOT CONFUSE SILLINESS FOR IRRESPONSIBILITY/IMMATURITY! I feel as long as the person can handle his/her business (pay bills, clean, etc.) then there should be no harm in a cheerful silliness. Besides, a daily dosage of laughter should be required in a day to day lifestyle.
However, this sudden change of his may have one of two problems:
A: you said something or he's starting to think that him being serious all the time is making you feel dull or dumb toward him and he wants to change his personality to make you feel better.
B: It's medical. Get him checked out. I'm not joking; a change of personality like this can be medical and it's hard to detect.
Have you ever dated someone who suddenly switched personalities for the worse (or better)?
No. I did change my personality though thanks to my two best friends. It was for the best, because had I gone through life the way I would've thought I would've, I would be what I've hated the most.
Just say something like "What up with the silliness?" Okay, not like that, but you don't have to randomly sit him down to have a talk. When he's acting silly, simply ask why. Don't beat around the bush.
I'd just casually ask him - if you get on his case he'll just get defensive. Just be like "hey, why are you so silly these days?"
He can't be all serious and smart all the time, can he? :/ Maybe he likes to goof off sometimes.
Ask him about it.
Maybe he feels like he was too serious before? Like he's trying to counteract his seriousness with being overly silly.
My boyfriend is similar...he always dances or gives me nonsense answers to questions. He's a smart boy, majoring in Engineering.
He's also a year younger than your boyfriend (I think you said your bf was 20?) Maybe it's something that guys around that age go through?
Either way, eventually he'll be too old to act silly :)
Tell him you like when he's silly sometimes, but it gets tiring to always be entertained.
If it bothers you, I would ask him. If you don't, you're just going to get irritated more and maybe, lose this relationship as well with it.
Maybe he's trying to get you to spank him? ...could be fun.
omg im going through the same thing. ive been going out with this boy for 6 months, and hes been acting more and more immature. he says he gets it on me, because from time to time i act like a kid. but that doesnt mean you need to act like one all the time. hes only 18, but still he needs to grow up. its driving me crazzyyy
Sometimes the smart talk can get dull at moments and maybe he just wants to have fun. Or maybe he thinks you're dumb. I mean, if you don't know about Darwin.
@TakingxOverxMe@xanga - Yes! Well said!
just ask him! communication is key after all
I'll admit, I used to do that. I never got that silly, but I did act a little goofier than usual. In my case, I've never really had any luck picking up women with my nerdiness. For the few times I was able to spark a lady's interest with talk of building coil guns and automated hydroponic units, I would get this weird feeling that even though that was what made me interesting to her, it would eventually bore her, like it does to most people. I would start acting a little goofier than usual just to make myself seem interesting to someone who already thought I was interesting. Weird, no?