Friday, 20 March 2009
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Dammit, Heartbreak Sucks.
Wow. I'm really hurting right now. It's been a while since I've felt this way, but I guess this had to come sometime. It's never easy to find out that your has ex wasted no time in trying to hook up with somebody else. I don't know why this even matters to me at all, but it does. I just feel like it was abundantly easy for him to replace me. Was I seriously that replaceable? He waited a mere few days before he was already on the search for someone else. He ended up running back to an old fling, and for some odd reason, that really broke my heart all over again. I haven't even been able to entertain the idea of being intimate with someone else...I mean, how could I? The breakup is still kind of fresh. But from the looks of it, he had no problem moving on. I feel weak for even letting this affect me to begin with. Everything inside of me tells me that this shouldn't matter. So why the hell does this even hurt me? How could he run to someone else so quickly and easily? I was taking our breakup as a time for me to work on myself and feel content with being alone, and he was using the breakup as an excuse to get attention from as many girls as possible. My feelings of progress are slowly slipping away from me, and I hate the fact that I feel so hurt by this. Now a little part of me feels like he told me that he loved me without even knowing what "love" was. I feel like he didn't respect me. He treated me like a cushion that he could just fall on at his convenience. He took advantage of the fact that I cared about him and ultimately used it against me. And I know that it's my fault too, because I let him.
I don't know what to do with myself right now. I wish I could just COMPLETELY get over this nonsense. I KNOW that I don't deserve this. I KNOW that things are never going to work out with him. I KNOW that he's still the same person that he ever was, and that I could never change that. I KNOW that I should be stronger than this and say, "Screw him!" I know all of these things, but it still doesn't make it any easier. I know that this one guy doesn't hold the entire key to my self-worth, and that I should see his moving on as a good thing, because that means that I'm completely free of him. But I can't help but feel a little disposable right now. He not only threw away our relationship, but he threw ME away as well. He replaced me in the blink of an eye, like all of the love that I had for him meant nothing. He clearly feels that he can get it elsewhere, and I'm definitely nobody to stop him.
I just wish that this didn't hurt so much.
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- From: MeLoveYouL0ngTime
- About Me: I'm raw, uncensored, and not apologizing for it. So, if you find my posts inappropriate, then damn... that kind of sucks for you. =]
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Comments (35)
I'm very sorry about this. It's a horrible feeling. But I like to think it's not so much that you're disposable and that he didn't care, but that he cares so much that he has to hurry and find someone else so he doesn't hurt. It's the weak way out of a bad situation. And I'm sorry you have to watch him do that to you, because it's not fair at all.
This just reminded me when I dated my best friend who broke up with me within a couple of months and by the time I knew it, he was buying and giving some other girl roses and chocolate for Valentine's Day. Our break up was still sooo fresh and it hurts like hell.
But in time, you'll get over it. Sometimes, some people move on faster than others. And other times, some people just want to get back with an old flame to avoid all those pain that follows a break up.
Awwwww. Man I wish there was a instant cure for this. Honestly, right now, I think your in the phase where it is still fresh because the break up was recent. Give it time and try to cope. Cliche as it sounds, try to move on. You can't avoid these feelings right now, but as Leona Lewis says, "It will all get better in time." :) Hang in there! Don't give up and be strong.
We're in the same boat. I really dont know what to tell you because I know how that feels and I've been going through waves of emotions myself. There are days when I feel like I'm okay and then there are days when I feel like staying in bed, under my covers and not see the world. We'll get through this together :o)
hay
i am actually going through the same,
my boyfriend for over a year broke up with me and a week later already starts going out with someone
and the jerk decides to email me to tell me he is seeing her
because he thought i would have heard
i wish it didnt hurt too,
i also wish he didnt move on so quick
i just hope the pain goes away soon for anyone in the same situation
im going through a similar situation right now. the guy made it sound like I was the whole world to him and after we broke up, he got himself another gf in 2 weeks around valentines day. trust me.time does make things better. go hang out with your friends and keep yourself busy.
My ex-gf did that to me. She didn't even wait a day though. We broke up in the morning and by 4pm she was on a date with a mutual friend of ours. It hurt for a couple weeks but then I realized how happy he made her and even though I wished it was me I could take comfort in her happiness. I know you instinctively just want to curl up in a ball and watch movies all day but that is definitely not a way to get over it. What worked best for me was to hang out with friends, work out at the gym, find new or old hobbies, etc. Anything to keep the mind focused on something else.
any decent person who respects you and your relationship wouldn't do this. I wouldn't be surprised if his friends are encouraging him to go "around". You are so much better than him so don't let this bring you down. Remember he is someone else's problem now!
I once dated a guy for 8 months, my first everything and he gave me this lame excuse to break up with me. After 2 days, I heard from people he was with someone else. It hurt so so much...probably as much as it hurts you now. But I realized that he was complete jerk for doing that, probably didn't value what we had and couldn't care less about me, so I didn't waste any more time thinking about him. Don't think about it too much.It has nothing to do with you being "replaceable". I hate that word. No person is replaceable! You're special in your own way :) And you will be with someone who sees that and appreciates you more than you'll ever know. Not some idiot who can't see a good thing when he has it and has to go around to prove to himself he's cool and hot.
aww *hugs*
I know that feeling...
When he tells you your the only one, and how he'll never find someone else like you
and how he'll regret if you two break up cause he wasnt a good enough BF
& when you guys actually breaks up he finds another girl
So much for the bullshit - cause I actually believed in it
Hey, I've been through that. -_- I should've seen the signs, but I was too stupid to wave 'em away.
Don't focus on how he used you. Try to forget about the fact that you guys went out. I dunno. Denial helps until you're ready to accept the changes.
Just give it time and everything will be okay. This is a good time to be surrounded by friends. At least you're not in denial that it won't work out with this guy. I'm proud of you for that!
you just need time..
im sorry youre going through this, though. you just gotta focus on all of his weaknesses and flaws. you'll get over him soon enough
i was sitting here trying to figure out the right words to say to you to some how make you feel better or make some sense out of this situation....and i cant.
There is no sense at all to what he is doing and so my advice is dont waste anymore time trying to figure out what you did wrong-because you didnt- dont sit around and ponder what you're missing, that he had to immidiately go to someone else for -because ur completely whole.
Sometimes things in life dont make sense and people are the most confusing. we all have our own perogatives but the best thing you can do is keep your head high and live your life. And live it happily.
"The best revenge is to your life. And live it well."
Trust me when you do go on with your life and things are going well he will realize how much happier you are without him and that there are alot of thing in life better then him...
:)
I know what you're going through. I was going out with this guy for 7 months or so when we decided it wasn't going to work. 2 days after we break up I see him hanging out with these 2 skanks from school and it made me feel very uncomfortable and insecure ..or disposable as you like to describe it. It took me a while to come to terms with the breakup and in the end, I came to the conclusion that I was really much better without him. He seems very inconsiderate of you and you deserve much more than that. It's going to be very hard at first, but just take one day at a time.. it's unlikely and unhuman to wake up one day and decide you will stop feeling.
Surround yourself with friends. It beats staying at home moping.
Don't beat yourself up. It totally sucks, I agree, but don't beat yourself up.
My Fella broke up with me two weeks ago, a week before one of my best friend's wedding, in which I was a bridesmaid. The entire wedding I'm listening to the priest I'm thinking to myself "Oh my god, if that's really what it means to Love then he did NOT love me and wasn't going to anytime soon!". That made me feel slightly better.
But, yes, it sucks to see or hear about him being with someone else. I'm waiting to hear that and scared of my own reaction. I have a feeling it will be very much like yours. I don't think, however, that it means you are weak. It just proves that you cared and (I don't know if this will help you, or me, for that matter) but I think it's good to know that you are capable of caring about another person like that - whether they deserved it or not - and I think that knowledge can make you stronger.
You don't need it, but: good luck.
I know what it's like 100%. You're not alone!
im sorry...ive dealt with that b4 and it sux like hell...:P...but eventually we'll all find ourselves...it's like hanging onto that person that u love is like waking ^ in the morning ur like HELL NO!!!...i dont wanna get ^...so ur like HELL NO!!!...i, never going to get over this person no matter wat anybody says so idfc wat any1 says...and u become sensitive...but like i said eventually we all heal...so good luck healing...
I wish I can give you a pill to take away your pain!!! I'm so sorry, because i know how you feel. That happened to me not too long ago. He was "in love" with another girl not too long after we broke up, and he refused to even say a simple hi when he bumped into me.
He even told her that she was the first person he's ever truly loved.
so you are not alone !!! Try to busy yourself with other aspects of life!
you're not alone...you just need times....this feeling is awful....=]
wow... I feel ya! knowing that a guy can just find some other girl in a mere couple of days is the worst feeling ever. I'm pulling for ya girl... good luck!
I'm with you, i've felt disposable so many times too :( It sucks...
I have never had to deal with this one. But I've held hands of people who have. Here's some tips.
1: Figure out why it ended and try to analyze what went wrong. You got suckered. It happens to everybody.
2: Deal with it. It's cold and it hurts, but you will eventually heal. However, it's important to not let it drag you down. If you keep hurting, you'll never heal.
3: Forgive and forget. Forgive your ex and yourself that it happened, but don't forget that it happened.
think about it this way, that person lost someone who truly loved him, but you lost less than he did..
and by the way, your ex's new girlfriend is often just a rebound.
it happened to me, i broke up with my ex, and he started going out with my friend 3 months later, and that "rebound girlfriend" turned out to be my "best friend" (or so I thought).
I'm sorry :[
I can't seem to understand how guys can do that either...it's like they tell you how much they love you and then next second they can just "get over it" and drop you like you never mattered while us girls are stuck, mourning over a relationship WISHING that WE could get over it that fast...
I find a lot of guys trade long periods of emotionally empty mourning for short periods of emotional distress. Whereas a woman might continue to go on with her life, but feel the pain of a breakup for months, most of the guys I know (myself included) pack all their angst into two or three terrible days and then find they're over it. The last time I got dumped for example, I smoked five packs of cigarettes in two days, didn't sleep for 72 hours straight, didn't answer my phone or AIM, got shithouse stumbling drunk, and didn't eat. But after all that passed, I was over her and I could talk to my ex like nothing had ever happened.
Your ex didn't just throw you away, he mourned like you did. Only it was likely more intense and shorter. We trade longer periods of quiet pain for short periods of intense destruction and mayhem.