Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FMLToday, I walked in on my elderly great-great aunt sitting on her recliner in the living room. There was porn on the TV. Thinking that this was an accidental channel change, I asked, "What in the world are you watching!?" She replied in her sweet frail voice, "Two lesbians getting it on!" FMLToday, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FMLToday, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FMLToday, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FMLI love FML.
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Comments (27)
haha. Yea I finally discovered FML a couple weeks ago. Now I go on twice a day and read all the story's. Its a small joy that I love.
If you like that you might also like notalwaysright.com
<3 FML
I went there from your suggestion last week. I can't stay away. F-in hilarious.
That last one is hilarious.
I like the last two. lol.
Love these! I also loved the one this week where the parents bet on their kids sexuality, hahaha.
HAhahahahaha I love FML, it always makes me feel better about my life situations. And it also reminds me I am not the only one with a fucked up life
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
ahah i love how the great great aunt said it in her sweet little voice xp !
well..fuck MY life.
i just got done doing 15 pages of papers
for my whole spring break
...and im still not done.
Rofl.
@XxFireXboltxX@xanga - The last one IS an absolute riot. Hehe! Perhaps, she can call in sick?
It's like reading young versions of a Rodney Dangerfield joke.
haha. The last one.
1,4,5 haha!
FML makes me feel good about myself. As terrible as that is....hah.
haha fml is so addictive
#5 FTW!!!
=]]]]!
hahaha my fav is the one i read a while ago where there was a little girl n her mother and they were walkin somewhere and the little girl see a woman abt college age and asks why shes so dressed up so early in the morning and the mother responds "because honey she makes bad choices."
buhahahahaah
the walk of shame.....ive done this plentyyyy this past semester...
LOL @ #1, 3 & 5
LOVE THIS WEBSITE
It's like a procrastinator's dream! Some of them are really disgusting though, like the girl who got her boyfriend's neck pimple juice squirted into her mouth. Gross!
I have too many of these FML moments... hmm not so good eh? lol.
Whenever someone quotes that site I don't laugh much because I have already read it. FML.