Thursday, 19 March 2009
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Dear Dr. Datingish: Is He Playing Hard to Get?
I've known this guy for going on two years and we've had this odd relationship. We started out as just friends, but now it just keeps getting more intense. Whenever we hang out alone, he does all the cute things-holding my hand, snuggling, kissing, tickling, teasing, the works.
We get along really well, and I can sense chemistry.
My issue is that I have to always ask him to come hang out with me. He never contacts me first, but has only once not come over when I asked him to. He's never pushed the limits on how far we go when we make out, and he intiated it the first time we kissed. I'm just confused about if he's playing games and I've become his lap dog, or if he's just shy about verbally expressing his feelings?
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Comments (20)
hm... i am sorry but have you watched or read "he's just not that into you"?
Isn't playing hard to get a girl thing?
Sorry, I think it's really stupid if a guy plays hard to get. "Oh baby I might like you, but I might not. Work a little harder, spend a little more money on me, and you might figure out."
All the guys I know don't do any sort of toying around for the purpose of toying around. If the girl gives them the greenlight, they like to go, unless they merely wanted a make-out buddy.
it doesn't sound like he's that crazy about you.
playing hard to get is kind of dumb anyway. once you hit college, you stop playing hard to get - you're actually busy, and not just pretending to be.
If he initiate the kiss, he's totally not shy about "verbally" expressing his feelings for you (if he has any, that is).
I don't think he's playing hard to get. It seems like he enjoying whatever you two have without the official title labeling what you two are to each other and others.
But if you want to know where you two really stand (relationship wise), maybe you should confront him about it and get a straight answer.
And oh please, I hate the whole game of playing-hard-to-get. I like to be upfront about my feelings and I like a man who's upfront about his feelings too. It save us both more time that way.
Well...if he's not shy about kissing, ticking, and flirting in general, I don't see why he'd be shy about articulating his feelings. He might just be milking the relationship for all it's worth. On the other hand, he may actually like you, and that's what you have to find out. I don't think there's enough information here for Xanga readers to predict with even 75% certainty. I would guess that flirting would mean he likes you, but different culture, different relationship rules. Maybe you should kind of disappear for a while and see if he contacts you. If he doesn't, and you end up asking him to visit you, again, then talk to him about it and figure out why he doesn't bother. Good luck!
He's actually a woman.
those types are the most dangerous! he'll do a lot of things with you so you'll fall into the trap but you guys are not together. he's just a player! don't fall for him, he'll hurt you! i used to know one of them & i got hurt. don't waste your time, you'll find out he's not worth it!
@jeezshoua@xanga - i totally agree..
he can't be shy if he initiate the kissing! "He's just not that into you."
i think he is not playing.
he is just too shy to communicate!!!
Don't waste your time, move on.
He could just suck at life like me sometimes
Or you can ask him to try to initiate for a change to see if he really wants to take it a step further
So lap dog sry...
Respect urself...
Read it's just a f* date!
He's just not that into you. Maybe he likes the making out sessions, the groping and stuff but he may not be interesting in dating you.
lol I think we all this experience...don't think too much and move on if when you confront him you get nothing out of it...he is not shy he is immature...
Yah... what everyone else said! He's not that into you. He enjoy being with you, but not wanting to make that extra effort is a warning sign of lack of interest.
Hmm, I think he thinks you like him more and he doesn't want to disappoint you, so he's coming to you. Try not contacting him at ALL for a few days (or even a week) and see if he initiates it first. If he doesn't, then I think it's safe to say you should move on.
Just stop asking him to hangout with you and see if he will start making the calls. That's when you know if you are even on his mind. Chances are he just might not know the next steps to bring on the relationship or he just might want booty.
Try that. :D
He's just not that into you. I've done what he's doing. I was really sexually attracted to the girl but I had only minor feelings for her. I'm sure you're on his mind like this girl is to me but I just knew she liked me way more than I liked her and I didn't want to do something that would hurt her later.
maybe just disappear and see what happens
i think he knows u will ask him out when he creates some emotions about you..and that type of thing so fall off the radar and see if he bites. if he does then u got hope, if not u are prob just a booty call.