Thursday, 19 March 2009
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Be The Exception, Not The Rule.
I recently watched He's Just Not That Into You, and it taught me a very valuable concept that I'd never noticed before (btw, a must-watch for all those couples out there, even the singles!):Be the exception, not the rule.
What does that mean? Well, the movie explains that when a guy is interested, he'll call you right away; waiting more than seven days might mean "he's just not that into you". However, there's an exception: he really might be busy and really want to call you but can't. In this situation, you're the "exception".
In the movie, this couple is together for seven years and the guy doesn't believe in marriage but he loves her. She wants to get married, but the rule in this case is that guys don't want to get married so they use the "I don't believe in marriage" line as an excuse not to be tied down.
Now, the exception is, it's seven years and the guy REALLY doesn't believe in marriage; then he realizes that he really loves you and that marriage doesn't mean being tied down - then you become the exception.
Girls always feel that the exception is gonna happen to them when they're in such situations; I'm not saying it's wrong to think that way (haha, 'cause I do too!) but this movie taught me that maybe, maybe you shouldn't fill your mind with so much hope that you're the exception - maybe you should keep in mind that you might be the rule.
Some guys marry for love; some guys marry because they think it's time to and they don't want to lose that certain SO that they're with, but really, deep inside, that guy isn't sure about the marriage. He always has that thought of "what would happen if I didn't get married?" throughout the marriage years (maybe that's why the divorce rate is increasing now) so situations like these was the beginning of the exception and the rule.
Do you feel that this is true and can be related to real life situations?
Are you more pragmatic and think what you do is a rule, or are you hopeful and crossing your fingers to be an exception?
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- From: mis5viet@xanga
- Name: Trang
- Location: Toronto, Canada
- About Me: I am just an ordinary girl
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Comments (51)
In general, I cross my fingers and hope for awhile (maybe too long of awhile sometimes). But then eventuallyyyy I realize "he's just not that into me" and move on. :)
Yes we all hope to be the exception even though most of the time we are the "rule". But if you think about it, at the end, you ARE the exception for one person because they choose to be with you :) Ben Affleck does propose to her doesn't he, so she wasn't the rule.
Yeah I saw that movie, it was pretty good and had some truths to it (not all the time) but again you have to remember it's a movie and not base your every day life on quotes from the movies (even if they get stuck in your head lol)
my bf and I went to see that movie...neither of us cared for it. -I understand what you are saying. - I handle rejection pretty well, so I didn't actually learn anything from the movie.
What are you saying? You might not always be the rule, you might be lucky and be the exception, so have hope! BUT if you think you might be the exception, you're just fooling yourself?
Make up your mind.
In real life, I think if he's interested - no matter how busy he is, he will find the time to call you in less than two days.
I agree with the statement above. Don't waste your money seeing the movie...it sucked.
@jeezshoua@xanga - As a guy I can confirm this. If I am really interested in a woman I will call within 2 days for sure, no matter how busy I am.
That movie was so deep. Almost too deep for me to enjoy it.. But I did like the book and the movie producers did a good job.
For now, I am the exception, and I try not to think about ever becoming the rule.
Carpe diem, after all.
All girls are hoping that they are the "exceptions".
@Peridot21@xanga - lesson well learnt
@missedout_onlife@xanga - your right we all end up to be "someones exception" and yeah a movie is a movie, some stuff is true some are not because we're not always in those certain situation
@jeezshoua@xanga - agreed, this is something from the movie that i related to real life lol
@stkynotes@xanga - i enjoyed the movie a lot too, sadly i didn't read the book, gotta go buy it lol
@Cest_LaxVie@xanga - if only that kinda thought can be fully blocked out of all our minds lol THAT would be awesome props for blocking it!!
@msLadygee@xanga - true, but guys hope for the same too don't you agree? too bad we can't block the "rule" process in our lives has to happen sooner or later
so true.
honestly, I'm glad they're written books like He's/Into You and Why Men Love/Marry Bitches.
they are so helpful...
@mis5viet@xanga -
Well, I am the most pessimistic person EVER. I see the bad in everything, but I realized I can't do that with my relationship, because if I only look for bad stuff, it'll be doomed either way.
We really have a weird love story. We met, 10 days later started dating, then broke up in three months [with the intention to get back together when our lives get less busy and less crazy], and still stayed friends. We became best friends, started dating a few months later again; now we're inseparable and have been for the last year and a half or so.
I'm truly happy now and if anything ever goes wrong, I'll deal with being the rule, but for now I'm happy to be the exception, cause it only happens once in your life, or not even.
I think it's practical to be realistic about it. If every girl is going to be the exception, then we're all the rule. Just add a touch of optimism and we'll be set! Just because we follow the rules and get our butts out of dead relationships at the proper times doesn't mean we can't be a little quixotic every now and then ;D.
But hey, I think in every romantic relationship, there's some kind of weird twist that will make the girl an exception. It just depends on how you look at it, I suppose.
yes I'm aware that I'm the rule... not the exception which makes it quite depressing. hopefully one day I will be somebody's exception.
They wouldn't be rules if people didn't break them. I'm not so sure if I believe the rules because they're so often violated that the contrary might seem like the rule itself.
I always assume I'm the rule, and if I turn out to be the exception then it's an extra surprise!
I'm the rule I guess...
i think to some extent everyone ends up being the exception. At some point in time when you finally decide that that guy/girl is right for you or that you wanna take a chance they have become the exception.
when you finally say well im afraid of rejection but...this girl seems amazingggg and the one. u have become the exception.
or
he has plans to go over his buddies house for a day of football and drinking but he decides to call you and go for lunch...you have become the exception.
I think in any instances where you have become selfless for someone else then that person has become the exception.
I dont think the rule and exception theory makes any sense to be honest.......because are there really "rules" for dating. Life is spontaneous there shouldnt be a rule book for life too..
and when girls say "i am the rule i hope to be someones exception." it shows there really is no back bone to this rule exception theory because this is just saying in other words...i want someone to fall inlove with me. But, everyone wants to be loved and find that special one...
OMIGOSH YES!!! we all want to be the exception not the rule, but exceptions are hard to come by.
I think it's too much of a guessing game..
Just take a chance and whatever happens happens.
Don't stress yourself out.
i don't hope. if i like someone, i go for it. if they don't like me then too bad. they're missing out. i have no use or place for hoping. not anymore. i gave up on it.
he's that busy that he can't spend at least 3 spare minutes to call to say hi or make a date appointment to meet again?! or even a text message?! and "I don't believe in marriage" means he's only using as a booty call and casual girlfriend. he likes to hang around with you but not live with you once you're married.