Miss ReindeerI dated this guy after I graduated high school for a summer. It wasn't very serious, and to be honest, it was mostly, if not all, physical attraction. I always thought he was "out of my league" and when I was out with him, I felt really lucky because he was so unbelievably good-looking. Granted, I do have confidence in my appearance, but I think all girls have a moment where they think a guy is just too good looking to go out with them. Yet Adam wanted to go out with me. Score.
We always went out to really nice restaurants and he drove a ritzy-titzy Cadillac Escalade. Anything we did, he picked up the tab. He was very gentlemanly and I appreciated that, but when it came to conversation it made me want to gouge my eyes out.
We didn't share similar interests, the main one being recreational drugs. ACK! Dealbreaker for me under normal circumstances, but I couldn't get over his super good looks.
Everything else that happened with Adam was my fault, really. I clearly led him on by continuing to date him. He knew I was going away to college and we both agreed not to be exclusive. Any time I was home for break, though, you can be sure there were phone calls and sparks a-flying. It was mostly on-and-off hookups/dates for a couple years.
He continued to call me throughout the year that I studied abroad in the UK. He said that he missed me, he didn't want me to see anybody else (too late for that, pal) and it sparked a
lot of arguments. Finally, I told him not to call me again or when I got home because I wasn't interested in a serious relationship with him. I knew that I was over his super-hotness anyway and that it wasn't fair to him to keep seeing him when I returned. The shenanigans needed to come to an end.
Have you ever been with someone just based on physical attraction? How did it go for you?
Were you on the opposite end? Did it make you feel flattered or used?
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Comments (31)
Definitely never so I wouldn't know about that :p
I think the best guys are the ones with personality and not necessarily looks but I can see why you were hypnotized and tried to give him a chance. As for being on the other end, well I never see myself out of anyone's league and I can surely tell if someone is with me just because of my looks, and it does suck when guys are only interested in that
I wouldn't count this as being with him but I did went on a date with him to be exact because of his 'good looks." We talked and were mainly getting physical with each other (not sexually). We continued to talk and when we I saw him at an event (which we both attended) with another girl in his arms, I was.. upset and jealous. We weren't exclusive but still. I thought we could of reached that point if I hadn't found him with another girl giggling and acting like he didn't saw me. He called me when the event was over (two days later) and acted like nothing happened. I blew him off. Even though I still think he looks good (till this day), his characteristic of a potential friend or boyfriend was ruin!
both ends.
for me desiring the other guy, it was okay until he started dating some other girl, then I had to stop trying to get into his pants - he said he was flattered when I explained "the problem."
for me being the desired, I thought it was flattering, but also a little annoying, because I wasn't turned on by him, and also, I felt no emotional connection, so when I started dating someone else, he wouldn't move on, and would call me and stuff and try to cause probs with me and my man.
@missedout_onlife@xanga - Lol, everyone tells me i'm one of the better guys out there :D
I think relationships based on, lets face it, sex, are stupid and to do that for a couple of YEARS?? Come on...i mean you don't really have to have much of a noggin to figure this one out. You were leading him on! You should be apologizing to the guy. He never did anything wrong to you. Should have dumped him way earlier.
@Dustin_wind@xanga - I acknowledged that I was, but to be fair we never did say anything about being exclusive so it was pretty casual (so I thought) up until he wanted a bit more at the end there.
I know it still wasn't very nice and it's not something I would do again.
Aw, poor him. And you. I know in other scenarios, girls stay with the guys because they think they can change them. Hahhhh. Talk about one in a million. But when the relationship works out, it's really cute =].
I've never been with a guy based on physical attraction. My rule is to be friends with a guy before I date him, and if our interests and habits are too disagreeable, then we get the red light, U-turn, freeway shebang.
Been there, done that. I'm with you on it being hard to resist the physical attraction but it just hits you like a brick when you see all the other reasons why it clearly won't work out. You have to be strong and just realize that it's not worth it. Hold out for better.
That's usually how it happens. Beautiful people have no personality. They don't even have a soul.
I agree with the statement above :)
i don't really date guys based on their looks so i wouldn't know
I date girls based on their Math SAT score.
@WhenHateIsTheOnlyOption@xanga - Wrong.
@chPanda@xanga - As are you.
@babyblue5201314@xanga - I'm willing to bet you're lying. Subconsciously, physical attraction does play a role when we are looking for potential suitors. It's not the end all, be all deal, but you're lying if you went after an ugly guy with a great personality in comparison to a good looking guy with a great personality.
To the poster; I do feel bad that it didn't work out for you; but that's the breaks when a relationship is made based off of pure physical attraction.
Honestly though; although I don't like women who do seek a guy purely on his looks, I can't hold it against you. Hormones make liars/petty chasers of us all and you were no different.
@Eternal_Nocturne@xanga - Actually i'm NOT lying. If you look at my ex-es you'll know they aren't exactly the best looking guy or even the guy that you'll say is handsome. But I dated them because of their personality. but then again why am i trying to prove myself? no point.
Slightly off-topic: What I think it worse than this is dating something just because the sex is good.
i hate to say this but i am completely in the same boat!
my current boyfriend is way too attractive for his own good... i mean he is the most gorgeous guy i've ever seen and i am the lucky girl who gets to date him!
at the start of our relationship, the connection wasn't really there and we ended up breaking up since we weren't feelin it. but we missed each other and got back together... something changed in both of us. we've now been dating for six months and we're in love.
@babyblue5201314@xanga - That is true. I did not ask you to prove my point on the internet and I was rash in making my claims. Bitter cynicism led me to say you were lying and for that I apologize.
I'm in a similar situation right now. I'm talking to this cute guy and at first, I couldn't really believe my luck, but after talking to him for a little bit, I'm starting to lose my interest in him. Maybe it's because he seems a little bit too eager for someone that's supposed to be out of my league. Or that the mystery is pretty much gone and all I see now is his smooth talking and partying tendencies...
Way to pick em.
@StabbedPillow@xanga - LOL, I love your comment... It was the best comment I heard all this week...
I did that once. He was so unbelievably hot. I thought that there was no way in hell that he'd be interested in me. But he caught a glimpse of my picture and asked to be set up. We went out for a couple of dates. After the first one, I felt so bad I couldn't feel that spark for him that I got drunk for the first time. On the second one, I really tried to like him. He tried to seduce me but it was such a failure. I went home slightly disappointed. I know I cant put out to someone who's trying so hard that it was borderline rape. I was only disappointed because he was so hot. I never called him again.
Nope.. I need to have some chemistry with him. Sure, I might be attracted to him but I probably wouldn't date him based on looks.
@StabbedPillow@xanga - haha awesome
Have you ever been with someone just based on physical attraction? Yes
How did it go for you? not well
Were you on the opposite end? sometimes yes, sometimes no
Did it make you feel flattered or used? both
Yes, I have. When he talked I would just kind of stare at him. Then I'd realize what I was doing and mentally snap myself out of it (I wonder if he noticed lol). Unfortunately his personality was no where near as nice as his looks. We stopped dating eventually, but are still friends.
I have been on the opposite end as well. I was flattered a little I guess. We dated for about six months. He had a nice personality, which is ultimately more important.
If only there was a way to take the looks of Mr. Handsome and the personality of Mr. Not-So-Handsome and put them together to make Mr. Perfect. :):)
finally...oh well i guess no sparks means no sparks nothing u do can change that one.
At the same time i am usually the one who likes men first..so usually i m in that situation..kind of sad.