Wednesday, 18 March 2009
-
Two Girls, A Guy And The Silent Treatment
So there's this guy I went out with for three months. I broke up with him late one Friday night, because the week before, he had reeeeeally wanted me to have sex with him and do other things, and I was worried I wouldn't be able to stand up to that peer pressure. I was also still not over my ex-boyfriend of two years, so I thought it was best for both of us if we broke up. I still liked the kid; I just knew it would be best to be apart for now. He was fine, he said it was all right and we would still be friends.
All's good right? Not so, because by Sunday night of that same weekend, he was going out with my supposed best friend. I told her I wished she would have told me and she was, like, "haha, sorry, I didn't know he was going to ask me out!" We really don't know about her - we know she really wants a boyfriend, so she's either going out with him just because she wants a boyfriend or because she actually likes him. The reason why I'm so confused is because they went out around this time this time - they went out for two months then and I thought she didn't like him anymore because she dumped him. I made sure to ask her before I went after him, and she said she didn't like him like that anymore.So here's where I come in. I thought the boy and I would be friends even when he was going out with my friend, but it's harder than I thought. With me still liking him, and him still having some feelings for me, we almost snuck off and made him cheat on his GF. We didn't actually do anything, just flirted a lot. Then he grew a conscience and went whining to his GF...and I came home to an angry IM from her. Ever since then, things have been strained.
I try and talk to him on Facebook, just innocent things like "hey," but he doesn't answer. I don't talk to him at school, after school, and now, not even on Facebook. I messaged him asking why he didn't want anything to do with me anymore, and he was, like, "that's not it - you just need to back off some". Okay, after saying like two things to him if he doesn't answer, I just stop.
I haven't talked to him since he said I needed to back off some until today, when I said hi. All of a sudden, he changed his Facebook status to "I don't want to go back to school and deal with some annoying people". Ouch.
So what the heck? Do I just need to pretend I don't like him and not talk to him at all either or what? I really don't know what to do. I'm starting to like him more for some strange reason and I can't figure him out. Any suggestions?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: Holli_H_W@xanga
- Name: Holli_H_W
- About Me: I'm a senior at a private school and I love reading,writing my flowing random thoughts in my notebook, doing yoga, baking,cooking, and listening. I like looking at the story behind things and I'm a bit of an air head, but that's all fine because God loves me.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 0 Views: 0 0 Comments: 0 0 View all posts by Holli_H_W@xanga
Comments (33)
I was going to leave a stupid, unhelpful comment.
I still am. Yeah.
Dear Dr. Datingish, I haz question:
WHY THE HECK DO PEOPLE HAVE TO MAKE THEIR POSTS SO LONG?!?!?
Get straight to the point. You can cut out half a post if you try, and it makes it better. I don't mind reading long posts, but you get more respect and better advice if it isn't as long as my uncle's rap sheet. I can give excellent dating advice, but not if the post takes half my life to read. Also, please make them less confusing, even if you have to edit them, because droning on about something irrelivant and saying something over and over makes me want to attempt to stick a pencil completely through my head, in one ear and out the other.
If he doesn't like you and it's over, move on. He's an ass for asking for sex before he knew for sure you wanted it, and you made a little mistake by breaking up with him. If you break up with someone, even if you just say, "I want to be apart for a while", that's upsetting. He wants to move on and he seems to want a relationship where he can have sex at his will. That doesn't mean he didn't love you because you wouldn't have sex, he just wanted a little something more he wasn't getting. Too bad. Move on. It's not the end of the world. There are millions of fish in the ocean, even though he was a good catch.
Now, if you offered to have sex, he'd take you back in a heartbeat, probably. But then it might end up being all about sex, which you don't want.
drama.
You just want him cause you cant have him, its a MinD game cause when you could of had him you wanted space sooo you need to back off.
he has a new girlfriend... obviously he's gonna stop talking to you if you tried to lure him away from her. even if you two may still have some feelings for each other, he is still with another girl.
YOU broke up with HIM, remember? he doesn't want you back, get over it. he's probably not allowed to talk to you now that he told his gf about what happened.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - i completely agree.
I'm confused. o_O The boy you broke up with has nothing to do with the whole drama right?
Anyway ... your friend and your ex are pathetic. Don't think about it anymore because it will only bring you down and make you seem pathetic. You can do better.
@k_lewey@xanga - Danke.
This is one of those few Datingish posts where "communication" is not the answer, "leave him alone" is. He wants space and you should respect that. So the no-contact rule applies.
sounds like you want him now because you can't have him...forbidden fruit and all that. also, she probably told him not to talk to you anymore, but don't assume it.
and if he's actually giving in to the ultimatum this early in the game, he's a coward.
@TheLoveMuse@xanga - That's true (double true!)
I think it's best to leave him alone for now. Maybe in the future you two might be friends again, but not any time soon.
Dude, my best friend recently dropped the bombshell that he is dating my ex. And it's like, "WHAT!? COULDN'T YOU HAVE FOUND SOMEBODY/ANYBODY else!?"
You broke up with him because for 1) you were not over your ex boyfriend of two years and 2) you were worried that you wouldn't be able to stand up to that peer pressure from him sexually.
So, why do you want him back?
Seriously. You do need to back off and respect his relationship with his now girlfriend - your best friend. It was your choice to break up with him for the reasons that you listed and felt right about it.
You can't break up with someone and then want them back when someone else has him.
Move on and don't make yourself look desperate.
@a_single_raindrop@xanga - The boy she broke up with IS her ex which happens to be her best friend's ex before she even dated him.
So basically, her best friend and her dated the same person - and her best friend is dating him now.. for the second time around.
best friends don't date your exes. in fact, i thought it was some unwritten rule that you don't date each other's exes regardless. all this is, is self-inflicted drama.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - alas, when we kept posts super short and cut out all of the details, the posters got mad and said we were taking the essence out of the posts. sometimes it's good to have a little background info.
and hey, that's why we use cut tags! if you don't want to read the rest of the entry, you don't need to.
xoxo
I *hate* when ex's try to date the best friend, or any good friends of mine.
bitch, we're not friends so you don't have to "go" as far to get our numbers - we're friends because we're not douchebags like yourself.
I think it might be over.
people always want what we cant have
this is what we call "regret"
We dont appreciate them when they're around and just push them away / kick them to the curve
When we want them / need them back in our life -- they have already move on
so its your turn to move on - he got a GF already*
stop being so clingy*
@datingish - Ah, yeah, I see where you're coming from. Background info is good to have, but when they run in circles or tell you something you don't have to know to give advice, it gets frusterating.
But yeah, you win.
WELL obviously, if your ex was willing to ask your "best friend" out right after you two broke up then he ethier never cared for you in the first place, OR hes just an ass. And who wants a complete asshole anyway.
And secondly, if your "best friend" was REALLY your friend, she wouldn't go dating your ex right after you ended it with him, whether you still like him or not. Thats like the first freaking rule about friends and exes, so she has some issues.
AND LLASTLY, YOUR the one that dumped him, so now you have to deal with it. Thats life.
Sorry, but yes, you need to leave him alone. If he doesn't want to deal with you, pushing his buttons isn't going to make him fall in love with you. It's going to piss off his girlfriend, too. It sucks to have your feelings returned, but not be able to do anything about it...but he's already tied up with someone who expects his fidelity, and your friendship shouldn't compromise that. Give it some time and maybe the two of you can work it out in the future. For now, find yourself a guy who will like you as much as you like him =]. Good luck.
it's the childish game of; I want the toy even though I wasn't using it but now that's it's not there anymore, I want it.
Make up your mind!
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - Your comment is way too long as well.
@aLLy_138@xanga - sounds like her friend dated him first. so she broke the unwritten don't-date-your-friend's-ex rule.
you want something you can't have. the more he ignore you, the more you crave for his attention. That's why we "ignore those who adore us but adore those who ignore us"