Wednesday, 18 March 2009
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I Wasn't Attracted to Him, So Why Am I Sad about His New GF?
There's this boy that has liked me for a good couple of years, and even though we were both aware of his feelings, nothing happened because I didn't feel the way same way he did. He has been nice to me from the very start and has continued to be nice even having been rejected by me. I always thought that I knew what I wanted in a boyfriend and he didn't fall under that category, so I concluded that he wasn't for me. Despite that, he stayed by my side as a really good friend and accepted everything about me. Fast forward to the present, and I've been hearing things about him and this other girl. I thought that they were just really good friends, so I didn't think much of it. Obviously, I was wrong - they are together now. Prior to receiving confirmation of the new couple, I began to worry that it might be true. But now that I know, I can't help but feel sad.
I'm confused. Am I sad because I might have actually developed feelings for him after all these years but never knew it myself, or am I sad because the person who I always had by my side is now possibly gone?
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- From: anonymish
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Comments (72)
I think you should just eat some ice cream.
I think it's probably the latter of the two. I know what it's like to have to share your best friend and it isn't always fun.
You should just adjust to his new girlfriend and if you feel like he's kind of abandoning you for the new woman in his life, mention it. After all, you guys are really close friends.
I don't think you would be asking this if you had feelings for him. You would just know.
I think it's a little bit of both. You're sad that he has found someone even though you kind of always expected him to like YOU. It's a normal feeling. I don't think you like him or would have developed feelings for him. You can't force yourself to like someone especially if you aren't attracted to them after all this time. Maybe you're also sad because it reminds you that you could have been in a relationship with a good guy but you're not. And it's ok because if you think about it, you KNOW he isn't what you want in a bf. It will go away and I'm sure he will still be by your side as a good friend :)
This seems like the exact situation I am in. Anyways, could it be possible that you're sad that you may be losing a close friend of yours? Because if your friend is in a relationship obviously he'll be more devoted to her than you. So there may be a chance that you're more devastated about the fact that you're losing the person that stood by you despite the circumstances. Though of course I could be wrong entirely, I'm not a girl.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - You're always so helpful.
Maybe you're a little sad because you won't be getting all the attention anymore? No offense, but that is the case in most situations.
@Fairywife@xanga - But I kick so much ass.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - Well, maybe you should be more helpful and tell her what kind of ice cream to eat?
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - great idea... love ice cream!
it's normal to be sad when someone moves on whether or not you were into that person. i think it's cuz it's kind of like a rejection, they've given up on you, they want someone else.
I don't think it's either one of those things. In all honesty, you're probably just sad because his attention and affection isn't directed towards you anymore, and you liked the attention. It's classic human nature at its finest.
@Fairywife@xanga - Salmon or anchoevy, fersure.
@chickadee09 - I know right? I'm a lifesaver.
Well...you don't need the assume you like him, though it could be possible.
I think it's more like this reliable factor of your life has suddenly been taken away from you. I mean, you didn't really expect something like this to happen; maybe you simply sensed him as a stable element in your life, but now it's not stable anymore, and you're losing someone who liked you, and that's somehow a blow to the ego.
hey,i can see u have been in a same situation in wich i am right now :) ! there's this guy,there's always a guy blaah,and he's so cute,funny and everything i want in a boyfriend ! We went out a couple of times and i had a great time,but i dont feel like being with him...althout he's still there,talkin sweet,being such a nice friend im not doing anything-im not attracted and seems like u werent too.When i dont see him at school i get nervous,if dont chat with him at least 1h i go crazy,and still dont feel like being with him ..
but i think we just dont know the value of something if we have it,and we love it when its gone.So,i think its both -ur sad because he was always there for you and ur used to him,maybe youre thinking that youre loosing a good friend and thats all !
I think you loved him, maybe not in the sense of boyfriend or significant other... but as a real good friend.
i am going thru the same thing rite now
stupid boy wasnt much of a "good friend" tho we jus kinda avoided each other to get rid of the awkward tension. but now it pisses me off that he all of a sudden decides he loves this hoe when jus like 2 weeks before they started dating, he liked me. i mean, do i not mean anything? and lately ive jus had those same feelings like blown up in my face because of wat people wanna point out to me wen they kno and i kno that i didnt wanna handle the situation..............
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - Ewwwww.
I think you just miss him as a friend and the attention and the affection he gave you while he was close by. I don't think you actually develop feelings for him but I could be wrong also.
it seems unlikely that you have developed feelings for him..and if you did, they are probably feelings of insecurity of possibly losing someone who is close to you. it's not love.
if it were love, you wouldn't be so confused.
Sad Cause You Lost A Friend... So Close Yet He Didnt Tell You Himself? Possibly...
And Dont Regret Rejecting Him Cause You Two Might Not Have Had A Healthy Relationship...
But Dont Be Greedy, If You Needa Let Him Go, Then Let Him Go... Even If It Means Losing Your Best Friend...
Cause Dont We All, Want Our Friends To Be Happy..... Whether Its Happyness From Our Company Or Not...
I had something like that happen with one of my friends...he started hanging out a lot with my roomate who was known for sleeping around so I got really jealous because he would walk right past me on his way to her room and not even say hi. I have to admit I was kind of mean because I thought he was just with her for the sex (and maybe he was), but they're still together almost 2 years later. You just need time to adjust. Maybe you can hang out with both of them?
you miss the attention. sorry chick, get over it.
if you decide you really do have feelings, then those feelings would tell you that you want him to be happy and leave it at that.
Nobody likes their best friend taking off on some new romantic adventure leaving their previous bbf in the dust. Go find yourself in some romantic adventure of you own and you'll be fine.
Maybe you can guys can even get together to bitch about how your new beau/belle.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - HOW are you always the first to comment on everything?
I think you might be sad because he's directing his attention elsewhere. That's how I'd be if I were in your shoes...even if I didn't want something to happen, it's always nice knowing someone desires you.
Ben and Jerry's is one of the best brands.
I like Carvel's sundaes with "Brown Bonnet" and crunchies mixed and piled on top, preferrably.