Miss OstrichMy best friend Kt loves to complain about her boyfriend. Every day she has a new story about how much of a jerk he is, or how dumb he is because he said this or did that. Nothing he does is horrible; he doesn't hit her, hasn't cheated on her (to the best of my knowledge), never says a bad word about her, takes her out to dinner, and is generally a really nice guy. Kt's just a drama queen who needs to make trouble for her to be happy in a relationship.
She took it to a new level last night.
Kt likes to drunk dial me on weekends, which is why I wasn't surprised when my phone went off at 3 a.m., and I was greeted with loud music and Kt yelling, "Shhhh! Oh my God, shut up! I'm on the phooone." She started out with her usual complaints about how Steve didn't call her, and how she hates him because she KNOWS he must be ignoring her, and blah blah blah. Then she says:
"You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna cheat on him. That'll show him. I turned down three guys already tonight, but you know what? I'm gonna sleep with one. Help me pick."
Being the best friend, I told her she was being dumb and didn't want to do this; they've been dating for almost a year, and I knew that despite her constant complaints, she really did care about him. I tried to remind her of that, but she just kept drunkenly responding, "I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it."
After a few minutes of my trying to talk her down from the cheating edge, she got frustrated, yelled, "Whatever! What's the big deal? I'll call you tomorrow!" and hung up the phone. I haven't heard from her since.
How do you deal with your friends when they're about to make a big mistake after they've been drinking?
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Comments (62)
well she prob is just drink dialing or saying it for the sake of saying it. People cheat without talking about it, my view is she is prob just wanting some attention. In the meantime, u tried ur best..u have been a good friend so give urself a big hug on the back.
Punch them out.
@Schristian@xanga - Falcon punch.
Short of actually going to the party and dragging her away, you did all you could do. Try not to get too discouraged.
Why are you friends with the girl, anyway? It seems like she's a bitch.
You can't really do much in this situation besides hope she really didn't do anything stupid. Your just going to have to give her a serious friend talk and tell her she's being a huge drama queen and that the guy she dating is actually a pretty decent guy. There's no use in being in a relationship with somebody if they are such huge "jerks".
I think I'd just stop taking her calls at 3 a.m.
for myself, i have a general rule regarding friendships. i understand people drink. i drink. i understand that at times, people drink too much. however, it cannot happen all the time. my friends know that if they get into a sticky situation because of alcohol, i'll help them - once or twice. after that, im not into people who cant control themselves. case and point - your friend.
shes too dramatic and too immature. if she makes a mistake, she is old enough to get wasted so shes old enough to deal with the consequences.
she blessed to have a friend like you that deals with that behavior.
You do not be friends with them.
There's not really much you can do. Even if you were right beside her, you couldn't really stop. Not if she had her mind set on it. Maybe she just forgot about it after a few minutes? A lot of times that happens when people are drunk.... Otherwise, she was going to do what she was going to do. I usually hear about my friends' drunken mistakes later....
If you're at the party or at home when she calls you.. drunk, the most you can do is talk some sense into her to NOT cheat on her boyfriend. Even after you tried and she still do it, well, that's her fault.
I think people shouldn't use alcohol as an excuse to cheat on their significant others and a lot of people do.
If she always complains about what a jerk he is, she just need to go find a real jerk.
A friend, who was a high school sophomore at the time, wanted to start dating a guy she barely knew in one of her college courses. So I slapped her on the forehead. I told her that college guys who go out with high schoolers that much younger than them are usually creeps. Turned out I was right.
I just think that people are going to do what they're going to do, no matter how you try to help them. You just have to let them know that you're going to be there for them. If it gets really bad, though, you should let them know you won't take much more of their crap.
what a ditz. she doesn't deserve a nice guy
hahahaha your friend sounds like a blast.
it's her life. if she doesn't want to be with him, so be it. it's not your relationship to worry about.
well you can't really stop her from making mistakes. You can try, but the decision is left up to the person. At the end of the day, all you can do is just be there for the person when they falters (which they will).
falter*
She sounds like she craves drama.
Wow, she must be really really insecure that the relationship might end. She complains and being a drama queen 'cause she couldn't find the excitement anymore. Which is why she wanna cheat on him, she wants to feel guilty, so she'll care more about him. Or she wants him to know, and so they can end the relationship.
I drunk dial my bf one time after we broke up. Oh I was a big mess. There was no reception at the house party I was at so I had to lean out the window, my best friend had to hold onto me 'cause I almost fell out since I was crying so bad. Turns out wasnt a mistake that I called him, 'cause of that phone call we made up and got back together. Haha.
My best friend never really drunk dials, but she does cry a lot when she's drunk w/ me. It's sad cause sometimes i wish i can punch those guys in the face.
Why put up with her? She sounds really immature that she's bragging about how awesome she is that she can pick up guys even though she has a boyfriend. However, you don't really know what's going on in their relationship. Maybe he did cheat on her and this is her revenge. Maybe he really is a jerk that never calls or makes an effort and expects her to be by his side. Maybe he is just a nice guy who is in it with a drama queen that needs the attention.
Regardless, it's their relationship and their problems, not yours. As her friend, you can only guide her to make or not make certain decisions, not force her. But I would definitely question the character of someone who cheats on someone she cares about, what's stopping her from being a bad friend to you?
she is just my kind of girl, give her my number
99xxxxxxxxxx
hahahahaha
Should have found out where she is, stay on the phone with her while going to her.
And then knock her out. ...Or make a pass on her and see if she responses, whatever happens--knock her out anyway. (It's all for the best).
I think you did the right thing. After that, it's up to her to listen (or not).
Be there with the chick flick and ben and jerry's waiting, because if they're drunk and they've made up their mind, there is nothing you can do but be ready to comfort her with reality sets in.
odd. my initial is KT..and my ex bf's name is Steve. and i cheated on him while i was drunk before. i knew i was cheating but i couldn't stop cheating. i liked the thrill of it..the adrenaline rushing inside of me...
but all i did was making out with another guy. so it wasn't like sex. i wish i could've pulled myself together with a pinch or something...but in the heat of the moment..i couldn't. it was too thrilling.
if i was a friend of a potential cheater...i'd choke the bitch to her senses.
Wow, what a drama queen. You told her not to do it, she didn't listen. It's her own fault. If she complains about him that much she should just break up with him. It would also save you the grief of listening to her complain about him all the time. If any of my friends acted like that I'd tell em to leave me alone til the grow up.