Miss Ostrich
Sexile: To kick your roommate out so that you can spend intimate time alone with someone without the threat of being walked in on; a combination of "sex" and "exile."
During my freshman year of college, I heard this word thrown around all the time without having any idea what it meant. Not until the second semester, that is, when my roommate started sleeping around, and I quickly learned the true meaning of being a "good" roommate. She would bring boys over, sit on her bed, and stare at me until I got the hint to pack my things up and go. I was never bothered by this routine, however: she did the same for me.
My sophomore year went the same way but even easier; my roommate and I both had steady boyfriends who went to school out of state, so all we had to say was, "So-and-so is coming down this weekend," and the other just knew not to come home for a few days. It was a beautiful plan until I hit my junior year. That's when I roomed with Kelly.
She was the type of girl who made everything a dramatic situation. I'd asked her to clean her dishes that often piled up until they took over the entire sink. She yelled and said, "At home I don't wash dishes. If they bother you so much, you wash them!" She was a spoiled brat addicted to reality television and ripping farts louder than any boy I've ever heard.
Anytime I asked her for a night alone with my boyfriend, she would cry and scream about how she never had boys over (she
couldn't get any to come home with her OH SNAP BURN) and how he's not allowed to stay because he's not paying tuition and she doesn't have anywhere to go (because she didn't have any friends OH SNAP BURN AGAIN) and blah blah. I never yelled back. I just let her go until she stormed out.
I got tired of listening to her complain every single time, so I moved out and in with someone who abides by the unspoken rule.
Do you believe sexiling is fair? Have you ever had to deal with being sexiled when it was inconvenient for you? Do you think it's an unspoken rule between roommates?
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Comments (106)
haha I haven't been in that situation because I've stayed down living with my family.
But I don't think Id have a problem with it, as long as it wasn't a constant thing.
Like I don't wanna be getting kicked out every other night or something. Let me sleep! Zzzzz
But yea. If once in a while they asked me to "go be out somewhere" Id understand. Hey, I want my nookie too!
Err..I never had to deal with anything like this because we had our own rooms when I stayed in school residence...but I can imagine and agree to the unspoken rule..I think its a very good idea and you wouldn't make it really awkard...
As for your brat roommate...damn..I hate those people...I am living with people that is like her now...who doesn't do dishes but tend to use them up when she needs to...and never clean her mess....boo those bitches..
I think it's fair. Makes sense to me.
I was sexiled multiple times by my freshman year roommate. I was annoyed but never said anything about it, I just quietly left for a day or two. I figured that in the long run it was easier to put up with occasional sexiling than cause a huge rift over it. We never got along well in the first place. She slept around quite a bit. I thought her behavior was pretty disgusting and irresponsible, but she's an adult. It's her choice and her life, not mine.
I never have had to deal with this. I am in college...but I live with my boyfriend. So... Yeah. Haha.
lol. so that's why when I sat down to watch tv my roommate and his girl would shoot me mean looks. I never understood.
I think sexiling is fair to an extent. Like don't kick your roommate out every single night or consistently every weekend. And also, remember to do it for them if you ask them to do it for you.
Guess what... just start doing it.
haha, I never realized when I first started uni. I just sat at my computer while my roommate and the girl he just met lay in bed. rofls.
Where would I go anyways.
I just memorize my roomies schedule, dead bolt the door (we never do that) and allow for her blind confusion to spare me and the SO a few seconds.
She would NEVER "take the hint." My boyfriend has seriously considered saying "Aimee. Leave. We're going to have mindblowing sex right now."
I'm tempted to let him say it... just to let her see the reaction...
I think it's a totally legitimate request. If my roomie ever brought home a boy, I would clear out. But usually, they just sit around and stare off into space (awkward turtle!) because they don't know how to do anything but that.
I had a roomie, Kathleen who never got the damn hint. But I obliged when her boyfriend came over...with his ugly name having ass. I knew that Kathleen didn't like me...but I still stood by the unspoken rule, I mean, why would I want to be in the room with them while they were spending time? Anyways, she never left when my boyfriend came over so....
I started 'sexing' with her in the room... that's what the bitch gets! lol.
Honestly, there are some people out there who wouldn't care if you were there or not...but would YOU wanna sit there and watch/hear their sexing? So even if no one thinks it should be a rule, is it honestly anything you wanna put up with?
I would have slapped Kelly upside the face and tell her to get a grip.
I don't think my roommate understands the concept. I even put out do not disturb signs on the door handle when she's out just in case and sometimes she just jams her key into the door trying to get in. Sigh.
I have never heard of this term before - probably because I never had to go through anything like this before! My boyfriend during my freshman year had his own place so there was no need to do it in my dorm. I don't know if my roommate & her SO ever did anything in our room.. but she ended up moving out right before the end of the semester and I had my own room the entire next semester. Same with sophomore year.. she never had any guys and I was single and really wasn't into sleeping around so I never had to deal with that.. and then I moved out & got my own dorm room for second semester.
I'm going to be a freshman in the fall and I already understand this rule. I think it's definitely an unspoken one to everyone who is at all sensitive to others' feelings and emotions. I'm not going to have a boyfriend going into college and neither is my room mate so I probably won't have to deal with this until after awhile of school - once I've made some friends other than those I live with.
I guess I feel that while it's going to be a change - having to leave all my belongings and sleep in someone else's home, I'll get used to it because I certainly wouldn't want to be on the other end with someone watching me have sex... That would be weird and uncomfortable.
Kelly sounds like a nightmare. And not only because she won't abide by the rule but... dishes? Come ON. I hope I never have to deal with someone like that...
hhahahah.. negativo
hell that is a great rule. i abide by it with my sisters. have since high school.
I have a friend who was sexiled a lot her freshman year. She would come back and figure out that they had used her bed for their bom-chicka-wah-wah. That's why I'd never put up with it. Or I'd drag my mattress out with me.
I believe in sexiling as long as the person getting exiled is getting some also.. otherwise it is just a rotten reminder.
i sleep in the living room instead of my room so we both get our privacy
I always had my own room so I never had to deal with it, but I think within reason it is fine. If you're kicking out your roomie every weekend though, they have a good reason to be annoyed. Everything in moderation :)
wtf? why did you room with her, she sounds terrible! sexiling is pretty much accepted in our apartment... we all complain jokingly but in the end we don't care that much =) it's just annoying when it's late on a school night
I've had three roommates in college. Only one of the three had anyone who *would* have sex with her, but she still chooses to remain abstinent. So no, I've never been sexiled.
I also have not yet had occasion to do the sexiling. But this weekend, I will be. Basically, I told my roommie that my bf was coming from out of town. I asked her not to worry about changing her own schedule, but to please let me know when she would be gone and for how long, so we could, ah, concentrate our efforts. I plan to have him sleep on the floor at night - it's just less awkward that way. Plus the last two weekends he came over, she left for the whole weekend. So I figure I owe her a little concession.
@quicksandbuddy@xanga - Wow, that's really disrespectful! Why couldn't they use their own bed?!?
"She was a spoiled brat addicted to reality television and ripping farts louder than any boy I've ever heard."
LOL. I wouldn't mind if my roommmate needed her time with her SO, but then again, if I end up at UCI with my best friend, I doubt she'd bring any because she's way too innocent. I wouldn't do anything my first two years, though.