Miss OstrichI've always been attracted to nerds. For two years I dated a physics major who could talk for hours about equations and science and engineering, even though he knew I didn't understand a thing he was saying. I'm not a math person, never have been never will be, so I need to keep math savvy boys around me to make sure I tip enough or keep me from counting on my fingers. After two years with the physics major, I can't say I know anything about physics, but I did always appreciate when he tried to involve me in what he was learning.
I've dated the nerd-intellectual, who would also extensively talk about his interests, but instead of talking
to me, he talked
at and down to me like I was a child. His passion was philosophy, and though I might not know a lot about it, I didn't need an explanation of every single thing followed by baby-talk. The problem was, he didn't realize he was being patronizing; that was just the way he spoke to people.
Now, I'm not a dumb person. I can hold my own in conversations about books, writing, music, and politics, but when I was with the intellectual, I constantly felt like an idiot who knew nothing. I felt torn: I loved listening to him talk, but hated how pretentious he sounded and how stupid he made me feel while we were together.
Have you ever felt this way in a relationship? Are you attracted to nerds or intellectuals, too? If so, why?
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Comments (63)
A rocket scientist.
No joke. But you know what I really love about him? He talks to me on my level and can explain complex things so I can understand them.
If only he wasn't so far away.
I miss him.
Im a nerd who is heavy into quantum mechanic and such but i be sure to not talk about that since like only 10% of the human pop can actually understand what im talking about when i tell them isnt amazing that that a alpha particle emitted by radioactive nuclei such as uranium, thorium, actinium, or radium in a process known as alpha decay. This sometimes leaves the nucleus in an excited state, with the emission of a gamma ray. How can someone who is not into that stuff carry a convo if they nothing about it hmmm:? When it come to women i focus on them and their lives, you simply cant lose or go wrong n_n.
I have always, always been attracted to "nerds." Intelligence is very attractive to me. However, like you, I don't do math or science - and so whenever I've dated guys who are into those things... my eyes tend to glaze over once they start going off on them. However, I'm also a bit of a nerd and an "academic snob" - so I consider myself not overly intimidated by them. It works.... nerds are fun!
I'm currently going out with someone who's a lot smarter than me--but he explains anything that I don't understand. :)
BECAUSE OPPOSITES ATTRACT!
I love nerds! They're intelligent, and I feel like I have a good catch. I'm not super intelligent, but I'm not dumb, and I know I need a smart man to keep me at my academic best.
i've always been attracted to nerds too. don't let yourself feel dumb though, just remind yourself that you have your own areas of expertise that he doesn't know about. it's what keeps me sane when my bf is discussing his phd project with his buddies haha =P
I'm a physics major and I get where you're coming from. We do that a lot, unfortunately, and I've decided to change that about me.
But truly, I'm looking for someone who will either laugh at me for knowing so much, or challenge me and say I'm wrong. Either way, I want an active partner. Don't you?
I like intellectuals, but modest ones. Just someone who's well-rounded, but not conceited about it.
My most recent ex was that way. We were at a bar/restaurant where my on/off boyfriend's (currently my boyfriend) brother worked, and sadly was our server. He watched and listened as I got an algebra lesson on a napkin while my boyfriend at the time drank his beer. it was embarrassing and degrading.
i love nerds. adore them really.
Dated a math/chess playing one for almost 5 years.
Now I'm with the ulimate nerd. He knows how to break it down to simple concepts I understand and language I am atune to. He also has been reccomending me books to read that explains thingsI find myself interested in.
i love him and i love what he does for me.
With nerdiness often comes the unknowing arrogance that knowledgable people give off. Funny how they know so much about a complicated subject, but they know nothing about social appropriateness.
I was never attracted to nerds. Still not.
I've always been attracted to the.. well, I guess you can say.. not so smart guys with an athlete body and good or average looks.
If we're stereotyping, I'm really into "nerds".
Extremely smart people are the only people I can stand.
Ehh. Can't say I was/am attracted to nerds.
But I don't like when they belittle me. For instance, I know nothing about cars. And when my crush talks about them, and I'm like ". . . Huh?" . But he explains it to me and shows pictures, so it's ok. :D
I wrote quite a logical post to this. Who thinks I should go ahead and add it to Datingish? I've been in htose situations, except i was the nerd. So, I think i can explain this.
I don't know. It's like they have a purpose in life, and you know they won't end up being the next person working at your local McDonald's. A man with a goal in life is pretty hot, if I might add :D.
However, the ones that belittle you tend to annoy me in one way or another, but very few times has that happen before because I am a nerd myself.
Yes, I still like my athletic, hot body guys. I guess all teenage (and some older women) tend to go through this stage in their life where they are attracted to look more than brains, but those looks will not out last the intelligence of a guy.
i love so-called nerds/intellectuals. <3 my ex husband was super model gorgeous, but was so ugly on the inside and so shallow in his pursuits. of course there are plenty of nerds who are also jerks, but i still prefer nerds over the more popular alternatives.
dorks are fun...my ex was a total dork and we always had sooo much fun...he did make me feel dumb and i always felt like a wasn't smart enough for him but he'd always help me study which was nice
@lovemecauseunoido@xanga - yeah, they can be so sweet. i especially like the ones who haven't had a lot of experience, so it means so much when they gather up the courage to say something sweet to you. *swoons*. i love how they can turn your tears into laughter with just a pun or joke at their own expense.
i guess i didn't read the entire title here. nerds don't make me feel dumb at all.
My boyfriend is a math major, and he can just rattle off about math. It DOES make me feel dumb, even though math is a pretty strong subject for me--I have to take it as part of my Ecology degree, and it's an easy A right now. But then again, I can turn around and rattle off the taxonomy, mating habits, and flight patterns of a bird that flies by, so it balances out. :P
me and my boyfriend apparently make other people feel dumb with our uber-nerdy science conversations...so we're like the couple version of this post LOL twice the horror?
we didn't even realize it until someone's new boyfriend didn't want to talk to us because he was so intimidated by our conversations :X
heh im attracted to a nerd but thats ok cuz opposites attract. It's just when i make a mistake he always corrects it for me, i think its silly but i love it. They're really mysterious in their own way...well mine is idk hes just a..different kind of nerd that dresses up as a gangsta XD. idk im equally smart i guess, we have this really smart conversation, its just fun. you cant really have that with other types of guys.
@black_lie@xanga - That's good advice. When I feel intellectually inferior I remind myself of what I know that a lot of other people don't. I've told the rocket scientist that I'll bet I can teach Steven Hawking something new! (He's met Prof. Hawking, Bill Clinton and Queen Elizabeth. How nutso is that?)