Saturday, 14 March 2009
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I'm The Last Stop for The Guys I've Dated
Miss Elephant
I wouldn't say that I have an obvious pattern in relationships. I've had three boyfriends in my young life, and they've all been pretty drastically different.
J, my high school boyfriend, was sweet but lazy, timid, and a terrible writer (read: dealbreaker). D, my second “boyfriend,” if you can really call him that, was just a huge asshole, and also a likely cheater - but he was amazing at sex so I kept him around. My current SO is sweet, caring, loving, funny (most of the time haha), hard-working, creative, honest, and adventurous in bed. Clearly he's the best of the three so far. With all their differences, I still see a pattern - one that shows itself after each relationship, not during it.I'm the last stop. Usually this term means that you're the last girl a guy is with before he finally admits he's a closeted gay, but in my case, it means I'm the last girlfriend my guys have before they get really serious with someone else. J is now married and expecting a child. D is dating a girl who relocated her life to live in the same city as him, suggesting a serious level of commitment. Will my current SO be next? At least he knows if we break up that he will meet the woman of his dreams, get married, and have lots of cute little babies!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset about any of this. I'm living in New York pursuing my dreams, I have a wonderful boyfriend, and I'm generally very happy; meanwhile my exes are already settling down and getting married and having kids. Clearly, I win. Upgrade.
I just think it's kind of weird. Have you ever noticed any weird patterns among your exes?
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About the Author
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- From: misselephant
- About Me: I'm pretty bad at relationships, but I try really hard. I love writing, blogging, reading, eating, exercising, and sexing. That list is not all inclusive. My Ideal SO is someone who challenges me. That's just about the only requirement, aside from the basics: being sweet, caring, loving, supportive, funny, all that stuff. Being adventurous in bed doesn't hurt either.
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Comments (28)
yea. I notice a pattern.
They all cheat on me >8(
lol
Good Luck Chuck.
I had two of my boyfriends come out gay fairly soon after the breakup but besides that, there's not any real pattern.
Yea. Most of them proposed... quickly. It seems to me that a guy aught to get to know a girl before he proposes to her and in 98% of those cases we'd only just begun dating so how could they possibly know me? Anyway, it was nearly always my cue to exit stage left. I just thought it was weird and not really acceptable considering my experiences with marriage. No, don't ask.
Welcome to my world. Must be my karma to get them ready to have a great life and find their perfect mate.
Yeah, actually. All of mine live in Texas.
To say the least, all my exes were different. It was like a roller coaster with all of them.
THREE WORDS
FUCK THE PAST.
just be grateful for what you have right now!
Your story reminds me of "Good Luck Chuck". x)
For me, the patterns I've noticed in my exes is that they all somehow used me as a backup/rebound.
All my exes either got really bad haircuts or stopped cutting their hair in general.
Yeah, I noticed a trend in all of them that have dated me. They have all cheated on me, even though it is the one quality I find the most important in a girl. I began to think if it was just me, am I looking for cheater-type girls or is it me? Am I too predictable? Am I too boring?
Yup.
Yea, each of mine ends up in a relationship within a month of our parting of ways.
sounds like the curious case of good luck chuck - female version.
haha :P
im with the second comment on here.
your like good luck chuck!bahaha.
Mine decide that I'm not worth commiting to seriously when we're together, then decide they want to settle down with me after we've seperated.......lol
I don't know if it's much of a pattern since I haven't been in a lot of relationships, 4 to be honest. And mind you I'm only 22 almost 23. But of the guys I was with, it's like they come in pairs/2's. I'll explain. First 2 guys, really sweet, 2nd 2 such total jerks and assholes.
yes, i've actually noticed the same pattern haha
ex#1-married with 1 kid, another on the way
ex#2-married with dog
ex#3-married with kid on the way
ex#4-serious gf, i think an engagement is on the way after he finishes with his graduate degree
LOL
i am NOT married or engaged, and i'm so happy about that :D
Well now that you mentioned it, my first long term gf is now married w/ a kid and my second one has been in a committed relationship for the past 2 years. Hmm...
mines are just a range of things!
@SteamyDumpling@xanga - This serves true for me for at least my last two exes as well. i was the rebound girl simply because i was the only one who'd listen to them whine about how their then GF disappeared/ stopped talking to them/ died.
And my last ex, post-breakup, had decided that he was gonna lay off girls for a long long while.
all my exes seem to not be able to find anyone else after breaking up with me... how depressing?
SHE relocated for HIM? No, he still sounds like a major asshole. If it were the other way around It'd be different.
No pattern there. Stop worrying, just enjoy the good times. You're overthinking it.
Protip: Don't lie to yourself with excuses like you're 'just keeping someone around because they're good at sex.' Way to let yourself be used for exactly the same thing and only that thing. You're better than that! Come on!
Mine dont last more than 3 months for me!
yeah, they are all assholes..LOL!
they were both named johnson ==
without knowing so after i broke up with them ahha !