Okay, I'm your typical shy girl who sits in class and never raises her hand - except this typical shy girl started to have a crush on this guy in her class. Now, there are a few things you should know about me before any assumptions are made:
1) I do not believe in love at first sight.
2) I can honestly say I prefer personality over looks.
3) I just got out of a serious depression period involving someone who treated me horribly for the past four years.
After I got out of that depression, I became a much happier person being able to leave my past behind.
I felt that I should no longer waste my time on upsetting things, but rather focus myself on things that I want to do, for myself and for my own happiness. It has taken a lot of effort for me to open my heart up again (as cliche as that sounds) and this time I'm determined to fall in love with the right person.
Unfortunately, fate dealt me a card that I really do not how to handle this time. I am really attracted to the boy sitting next to me in class, but we have never spoken until recently. I gathered a huge amount of courage up to send him an email regarding schoolwork and we only exchanged a few very brief emails (plus I had to actually look up the school directory for his email...). I borrowed his notes and gave them back today, but I did NOT have the nerve to ask him for his MSN so I (after a long debate because I am usually not so straightforward and direct) emailed him once again, thanking him for the help while asking him a question about his major, hoping he'd reply and keep a conversation going.
Now, I know you may think this is super normal, but I have always been the one who (and I don't mean to sound conceited) has her email and number be asked for. I find it annoying sometimes that those guys are just lusting after my physicality and not my personality. Now that I seem to be in the same boat (but I swear I do not only have a crush on this guy because of his looks), I don't know if what I'm doing is too aggressive or seem ...annoying? I'm usually not like this, but I thought
what the heck, you only live life once and I don't want to regret not doing anything for myself at least once...so here goes nothing.Have you ever done something out of your comfort zone to get what you want out of love? What'd you do?
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I decided to date a guy even though I was recovering from PTSD relating to the male body. Our relationship went wrong and our friendship has been lacking ever since, but I would say I really let a lot of things limit me back then because taking a risk at love has allowed me to take risks at all sorts of things. Now I'm working at letting go and admitting to myself that I've screwed up.
Maybe he thought your finding his email through a directory was a little strange. After all, most people ask to exchange emails in person before resorting to something else. Try to get the nerve to strike up a conversation in class. You have the perk of sitting next time him, after all. Good luck =].
Something out of my comfort zone...I think I called a guy to ask for his opinion on a sticky situation I had. It was fairly nice; he even remembered tidbits of the conversation and put those pieces of information to work as a birthday gift. That's about it, though. Unless I really like a guy, I'm content with sticking to myself. Besides, if he hasn't noticed me, or isn't interested in me, by the time I begin to like him, it's probably a lost cause.
Nooo.....
Noooooooo......
I hate that feeling, like I'm being a nuisance.
Depends on his reaction to your conversation.
I would say try being assertive a few times in starting a conversation(don't count on him), and if he doesn't seem all that interested in talking to you, or sort of seems like he's being more polite, then give up and move on.
Better to forget about it quickly than get obsessive over it, which is what I do ^^;;
2) I can honestly say I prefer personality over looks.
Bullshit. Sorry, had to call you out on that one. Physical Spark has to have started something; otherwise you two would not have talked at all.
But, you are doing the right thing as in terms to doing what you want to do. You're absolutely right, you only live once, so take a chance. Your odds are 50% success, but it's always like that.
Two fast notes; be twice as careful around the ones who want your personality. If he really wants some pussy, he'll talk everything with you "Yeah sure, cosmos, right."
Secondly, this guy, if he's your second bf, won't probably be a long one either. A good one, perhaps, but maybe not a long one. It's gonna take a few whacks to get right.
hmm good post.
I'm kind of like you.. all quiet and shy and what not... and it's really hard for me to talk to guys I like... but that's actually really good that you are going out of your comfort zone to e-mail this guy. I do not think you are being aggressive at all... I highly doubt he is annoyed by you e-mailing him. It's just conversation... it's not like you're bugging him to go out with you or anything. Just keep on e-mailing him or ask for his number and just keep taking things slow. Good luck!
Aggressive girls are hot.
I think it's good you're taking some initiative. I hope it works to your favor.
Nothing worth getting out of my comfort zone for.
Let us know how it goes. :)Â
Um, I've tried not to tell myself what I'm going to say is stupid and just said it -- worked!
I don't think what you are doing is aggressive or annoying. Though it might be strange having someone who sits by me (but don't talk to me) e-mail me out of the blue..well, that's another story. But still, you took the initiative and that's what counts. Next time in class, introduced yourself and start up a convo.
I mean, it'll be weird not to since you did e-mail him after all and ask for some schoolwork related issues. The least you could do is introduced yourself.
@xxthatsmexx@xanga - A lot of schools use a system that allows students to manage classes online--professors can post assignments, pdf reading material, links, grades, etc on these sites...They also usually have a directory of all the students in that class so you can email the group or individuals (we use Blackboard at my uni) so getting his email from that isn't really that strange.
hey, sometimes you just have to go for it.
There was this guy in french club with me that i thought was totally hot (also knew him through some friends), and we got to talking during a french event and he mentioned having horrible pronunciation, and i offered to tutor him a bit :D i didn't think anything would happen at the time but at least i got to spend time with him! (also, i wanted to be a closer friend first)
Now he is my boyfriend (turned out he also thought he'd never have a chance!)....point is, both of us had gone out of our comfort zones after someone we both thought out of our league.
It takes a bit of courage, but you can work yourself up to it. Just keep talking to the guy, be his friend, and see where it goes. :)
I used to be just like you. But after my first boyfriend asked me out, I guess my self-confidence shot up and that changed me. After him and I broke up, whenever I was around guys I wasn't uncomfortable anymore. There was this one guy I liked and I tried to pursue him by making a lot of physical moves. He wasn't into me, but I was really proud of myself for trying and stepping out of my comfort zone to achieve something.
Then my current boyfriend comes along. I was the one who did all the initiating, and once again worked my charms. We've been together ever since and I'm really glad I did something, or else this relationship wouldn't have happened. I'm definitely NOT the shy girl anymore - even my extremely outgoing friends tell me I've got skills lol
How can we ever truly live without pushing out limits or leaving comfort zones?
Not in a way that means to live irresponsibly though.
well, i get out of my confort zone too, for achieving what I thing is right. i guess there should be risk for everything. but it was worth it.
absolutely! sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. but at least i tried, like you. :) good luck, i hope it works out for you...
@BicycleInAutumn@xanga - I second that.
I'm in the same boat as you. I never have the nerve to talk to a guy first about anything. Every time I try to freak out and feel like I'm gonna be bothering them. it sucks but I hope one day I'll have the courage to get over it and just talk to someone.
good luck!
well i learnt that i should never make the first move although i always do...and i guess i have to learn not to and let him pursue.
@BranmacFeabhail@xanga - Oh, I know. I just meant that he might be one of those people who prefers people exchanging information in person over finding it through a school directory. It was just a guess.
Oh, and it's really sweet the way you and your boyfriend got together =].
In this day and age, I recommend that you be a bit more forward and maybe even ask him to hang out with you sometime, or grab some drinks, whatever. At least you'll figure out if he likes you or not. Once again, it'll be out of your comfort zone, but I think not knowing is a worse feeling.
Last year I kissed a girl that I had only just met. I was furiously debating whether or not to kiss her before I made the move, but in the end decided to go ahead b/c what was there to lose? We never did pan out but I am content to know that I tried and I don't have to live with regret.Â
Good luck to you!
yes i have and it's so worth it...now, i'm engaged to be married to that person, but it took me a while, but so worth it. just take your time and don't rush it because if you really like this person, you should take things slow. good luck!
I'm learning to go out of my comfort zone.
I'm a very shy and self respecting person.
I'll be 20 this year, and I had my first kiss only a couple of months ago.
I don't want to just do things, and get them out of the way just to say that I did them, you know?
I want to be with someone special when I pass those 'milestones'
My boyfriend is really considerate and he isn't pushing me for anything. He is allowing me to set my own pace even though he is in the same boat as me -- we aren't experienced at all. :P
I'm sure that if you find someone like that, it's worth it to go out of your comfort zone.
i have, my boyfriend challenges me every day , its worth it :) but that doesnt mean that you have to change yourself entirely, just expanding your comfort zone :)