Friday, 13 March 2009

• Sustaining A Relationship On Two Continents

  Five years ago, this girl I know came over to Canada to study English - she is from mainland China. During her stay in Canada, she and my ex-boyfriend formed a close friendship. But seeing how things turned out, I guess it was more than just friendship.

  Time elapsed, and it was time for the girl to fly back to China to continue her college studies. She and my ex said their goodbyes to each other. At the airport, my ex planted one on her and they confessed their feelings for each other.

  Yes, at the airport, where she was going to fly miles and miles away. What better timing could there be?

  Before the airport incident, they hadn't gone out or anything. Ever since the kiss, they have been in a long distance relationship. A couple years after their relationship took off, my ex met me and we started hanging out. One day while we were at the amusement park, the girl called him. When their conversation ended, I asked him who she was, and he said, "It's just someone I've known for a while. She's...my girlfriend, kind of. There's feelings involved but we have an agreement. Because we're so far apart and I don't know when she's gonna get her visa and come back, we told each other that if one of us found someone, we would be happy for one another and go our separate ways. I mean, I don't want to spend years and years waiting for someone. Even if I wait, it's not guaranteed if we'll be together anyways."

  So a week after hanging out at the amusement park, my ex asked me out. He did the "chasing" and he was being all cute and charming. Being young and naive, I dove right into the relationship without any questions or hesitation. I mean, at the back of my mind I thought about the other girl, but I didn't wanna ruin my relationship with my ex by bringing her up. I automatically assumed that the other girl would be out of my picture anyway because I took her place.

  And yeah, as you can guess, I was DEAD WRONG. One day I had to ask about her, and he told me that he didn't know what to do. I didn't give him an ultimatum, but he told me he couldn't choose. He didn't wanna take a gamble. His exact words were "I don't wanna pick one and end up losing both. So right now I guess I'm just, ya know, testing waters".

  I told him that I didn't like where things were going. He obviously still had feelings for the other girl and that I wasn't becoming his main squeeze. Consequently, I broke up with him a day after our talk.

  Fast forward a year and a half. I find out on Facebook and that him and the other girl are not only still together, but they're planning on getting married  soon. She's almost done with school and plans to fly over to marry him.

  Now I know this is none of my business, but I'm just thinking...how can two people get married when they haven't had a relationship in the same geographical region? The majority of the contact they have with each other is over the phone, not in person. They haven't spent a lot of time together, and plus he technically cheated on her with ME.

  What do you think about this? Do you think they should get married in spite of all that has happened?

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