Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FMLToday, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FMLToday, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FMLToday, I went to visit my grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FMLToday, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Hope your weekend isn't FMLy.
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Comments (25)
Oh man, those last three guys were total douches.
FML has become one of my favorite sites... and certain personal anthem for me.
This is my favorite site now too... I try to check it every day... it always lifts my spirits.
=]]]]
I check this site every few hours on my iPhone. I wonder if people look at me funny when I randomly start laughing.
I hope so too. It had been FMLy all week for me. :-/
The one who visited her grandmother is lucky she dodged that bullet. serious.
lol.
HAHAHA I go to this site all the time when I am bored at work. I work as a recptionist and when there is nothing to do (which happend quite frequently) I go onto fmylife to amuse me. ^_^
FUCK MY LIFE.
SERIOUSLY.
FUCK MY LIFE.
SPRING BREAK STARTS TODAY.
AND IT'S 30 FUCKING DEGREES.
TOP IT OFF, I HAVE 3 RESEARCH PROJECTS.
AND FIVE FUCKING PAPERS.
FUCK
MY
LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG, I'm gonna have to go here everyday...woohoo!!!!
AHAHAHA xD I'll start checking up on it more!Â
Haha, I wonder if anyone will think of that last one when they have explosive diarrhea.
instead of studying for finals FML has become a MAJOR obsession. its pure comedy and it makes you feel better about yourself.
The FIRST and LAST one cracked up me.. bad!
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - SAME!!!
The WORST:
Today, I fell asleep in the caron a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway.
When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to
sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the
rest of the trip. FML
And I'm not even a boy
@immaairheadxl@xanga - I'm with you there. Three lab reports, a shit ton of online homework, two papers, and three midterms next week. I suppose it is nice that it's warm out...but still, forget having a good spring break.
@ricci_ricardo@xanga - Holy shit that's more hilarious than anything posted!
2nd and 5th... HILARIOUS
Number 5 is the reason why I never take craps at other people's houses, especially my boyfriend's x_x
LOL ^_^
@ricci_ricardo@xanga - I read that earlier and loled right at work in front of some customers haha
sad sad day
i liked the one about a dude getting robbed with a pez dispenser on the 6 train.. I'd be so tight if that happened to me
ahha i love FML & ive read all of them!