Thursday, 12 March 2009
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Am I Dealing with Love or Puppy Love?
To most people around me, they'd say what I'm experiencing right now is "puppy love" because I'm only 16 and this is a first for me. Like everyone else, I've had a couple of crushes before, but nothing has been as strong as this.I feel like I have to talk to him every day or I feel like crap the next day. My heart swells when he says something sweet to cheer me up. I feel the need to stay close to him to make sure he is still there. This had been going on for a couple months, but it wasn't until a few weeks ago that he revealed his affections for me, too.
But right now, I feel like I could be mistaking or overexaggerating my feelings because throughout my whole life, I thought that no one would be able to return my feelings. I'm not exactly outgoing and tend to keep my thoughts to myself; I've been the overweight kid for most of my life, I have eczema, and I'm a tomboy. Who would want to be with someone like me?
What is love? How do you know if you're puppy lovin' or just plain in love?
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Comments (63)
Love is love at any age sweetie. If it's new, it may be puppy love but that's no reason to underrate it. If you stay together it can become love love. Don't let your insecurities get in the way. I'm sure you're beautiful and he sees the beauty in you and that's why he's with you. Just enjoy it. <3
Closer to infatuation. I'm guessing this is the first guy to truly pay attention to you. The first one is always crazy rough to deal with. Just don't lose yourself in him or to him. There will be others.
Love is not a noun or verb; Love is a state of mind.
Wait about a year or so to call it love, your just crushin hard!
Based on what you wrote, it seems more like puppy love than true love. I think with more experience you may look back and realize you were more infatuated with the guy because he returns the feelings back. As for me, I thought I loved a girl back in high school. However looking back, I've come to realize that probably wasn't the most accurate description.
There's no difference. They are both equally stupid.
There's definitely a difference between being in love, and being in love with being in love. Sure, you're young, but that doesn't mean that you don't have the capacity to fall in love with someone.
However, chances are, what you're feeling right now is just an intensely strong infatuation. Love is such a profound feeling, yet most people tend to get that feeling confused with attachment or just plain old chemistry (Trust me, I've been there before).
And as for the issue of "puppy love" because you're so young... Love can occur on many different levels. For example: You decide to go fishing, but have absolutely no experience. You don't think about the proper time or waters, but you go anyway just for the experience. You catch nothing, so you go again, but with more consideration as to where or when. Eventually you start to catch things here and there. Through your persistence, you finally gained the know-how as to what time you should go, where you should go, and exactly what you need to use to catch as many fish as possible. And even though it took time, trials and errors, and gradual experience for you to succeed, that doesn't mean that you WEREN'T fishing every single time, right? Love is the same way. Even though you're young, and the love you may start to feel for this guy may not be as significant as what you will experience later in life after maturing and self-exploring, it doesn't mean that it wasn't love at all.
The best advice I can give you is to take things slow, definitely don't throw the term "love" around, and stay true to yourself. Don't become dependent on this guy to make you happy. You need to love YOURSELF before you can truly be capable of loving anybody else.
Love is love, but if you're young and inexperienced, exaggerating feelings and not knowing how to handle your emotions is normal. There's nothing wrong with you, and I think there's no point in classifying your feelings to be either "love" or "puppy love".
Just give it time is what I say. Be yourself and have a life outside of him, as well as spending time with him too, of course. Gotta hit a happy medium with that.
puppy love (kinda). It seems like you're more stuck to the idea of "wow! someone likes me!"
I'm kinda still that way so I might be able to understand your situation. It also seems like maybe you're getting too infatuated (you feel like crap after a day of not talking to him?) which is also a signal of the oh so (sorry to say this) annoying, clingy, puppy love.
@MeLoveYouL0ngTime - Wow, that's an amazing analogy.
I know that what we have is love rather than puppy love when we have fights and arguments. Instead of just hanging up calls, rejecting calls, walking away, saying let's break up when you don't really need it, you actually sit down, and talk about what's wrong, as calm as possible, haha. I know it's love when we can seriously get through really rough ups and downs together. I know it's not puppy love when together means just the two of us, rather than showing off to the rest of your friends. I know it's love when your heart still beats after years of being together, when you will suddenly want to plan a small surprise just to cheer them up, when you both suddenly realize this is the life you've been waiting for.
You're young, but that's not the only reason it could be puppy love. But be careful that you're not infatuated just because the guy returns your feelings. You're bound to have other experiences in the future, but the first one is pretty significant. Don't be too upset if it ends, because you have many years ahead of you :)
It doesn't matter what you look like; there will always be people who will love you for you. This could be real love - even if you are 16 - but then again, you have to question whether or not the reason you like/love him so much is that he's returned your sentiments. I think a big part of being in love is knowing almost everything about each other - the flaws, the qualities, the beliefs - and accepting the entire package. I can't tell you if you're in love or not, but I'm sure your brain can. Just take some time to mull it over, and enjoy the relationship you have with the guy. You have all the time in the world. Good luck =]
i dont know you but i can identify with you hun. i felt the same way with my first love. i encourage you to get to know him better to find out if you really do love him. my best advice to you is not to be blind because of your love. be aware. you have to definitely love yourself before you can be in love with anyone else. if its the real deal you will know it deep down and you will have no doubts. good luck...
A puddle could seem like an ocean to an ant; yet to the universe even an ocean is just a puddle.
Who cares what kind of love it is... it's your first love. Enjoy it until the last second.
Puppy love is still love and around your age emotions tend to be more...edgy? I'm not sure if that's the right word.
As far as the difference between puppy love and 'real' love goes, well, I'm still trying to figure that one out. I'm under the impression that 'real' love is deeper and stronger. You can survive without speaking to him for a long time because it's not a love that shatters easily. I believe there's a sense of security in 'real' love, but a lot of people try to disprove me on that one.
Well, age doesn't have much to do with it in my opinion. You could be sixteen, fifteen, fourteen, or even thirteen and fall in love. It depends on a ton of factors, which I'm not going to go into.
It currently sounds like puppy love to me, but everyone has a different definition for love. Everyone feels different when they're in love, they act differently. Really, love isn't the same for any two people most of the time. It's always a different experience.
If you still feel this way in, lets say six months or so, then I'd be willing to consider it to possibly be love. During the first two months of being with somebody, you can fall in love, yeah, but if it's still like that after six months, a year, etc - then it's safe to say that it's actual, real love.
yep, age doesnt have that much to do with it. i started dating my ex at 15. and 1 year later, i was 16 when i fell in love with him. was with him for 2 1/2 years. (but i matured A LOT during those years and grew up and my feelings grew and i realized it was real.) until i was 18. and sometime i cant believe i fell in love at that age. but i didnt feel young then. i felt very matured back then and even more so now...
i wouldnt question other people's feelings but like a lot of people are saying, it could just be infatuation. when i dated a guy in high school, i thought i loved him and i was just so excited and had a huge crush and was totally infatuated. i think everyone has to have that 1st person that they think they love, to realize that maybe it wasn't real love, and once that next certain person comes along and you realize that THIS is love and its real, then you'll know it wasn't true before. well thats how it was with me.
and im sure the next person i fall in love with will be even more real and better because i've learned so much.
I thought I had puppy love too but I still had feelings for him even when we split. It was like water sifting out of a pan of gold. The water was my initial nervousness and excitement around him. The gold was the love that remained.
I think you will know if it's real when you are willing to do what's best for him even if it's not what you want.
Throughout your whole life? Honey... you're only 16.
It's real love... if he did something horrible, and you still feel the same about him. By horrible... yeah...
I'm not saying that love should be that unconditional, but if it's love love, it unfortunately is.
It's puppy love. And you're lucky that he feels the same. You should go out with him, but based on what you've said, I'd advise you to not be so clingy.
I asked myself the same question when I thought I had fallen in love with a friend two years ago (I was 18 at the time) and everyone who answered my question said, "You just know if it's love." Fast forward two years later (now), I realized it had all been infatuation.
Ask yourself this: can you imagine not having this guy in your life? can you imagine yourself changing his diaper when he's 80? Too soon to tell, perhaps? Then I guess you just wait it out...
I feel like you're infatuated with him and with having a relationship with him. But if things get tough and arguments start to brew up (knock on wood!) you will find if you truly love him or not.
Because during a fight, despite being angry, in your heart there's always a little part that is still in love. (: