I was reading
Stuff White People Like the other day and a line in
the post about dogs made me think...
It should be understood that in white culture, dogs are considered training for having children. That is to say that any white couple must get a dog before they have kids. This will prepare them for responsibility by having another creature to feed, supervise it’s [sic] bathroom activities, and to love. Because of this, white people generally assume that their dog is their favorite child unless otherwise stated.
I know of several couples with a dog they share - and when one relationship went sour, there was a definite fight over who should end up with the dog (the guy's brother ended up taking custody of it; visitation is open and encouraged for both parties).
Do you think it's a good idea to get a pet with your significant other? Is it really a way to train yourself for having kids someday?
Recommend
Comments (51)
get two. in case the relationship fails.
My husband and I got a dog about two months after we got married. She isn't exactly for "practice" but, moreso for the fact that he was about to deploy and he wanted to me to have some company and some protection.
She is our BABY though! She goes everywhere with us (including to work with me, sometimes he takes her to base with him on Fridays) and she sleeps in the room with us and we are always loving on her and talking to her. She's very playful and loyal (she's a black lab.) On the day we got her fixed, I cried all day cause I was so worried about her!
We have our first child on the way (in June!) and even though Bella (our dog) wasn't intended as "practice for kids" she has certainly helped in that department. :)
Kids are a MUCH bigger responsibility though.
i agree, get two.
I think so.
But not limited to white couples.....
Having a dog can give a couple some clues to how they might end up either cooperating in the care of children later, or fighting over what's the right thing to do in a given situation. A dog is not a realistic "trainer" in child care because of its very different needs. Canids and primates are different animals.
If one or both of you have trouble managing the responsibility of puppy care, and if you are paying attention and willing to learn from that experience, it could be a helpful indicator that you shouldn't have children, at least until you're ready to deal with their needs and their messes.
I have a dog.. he doesn't require that much attention. Having a child on the other hand, that's a whole different story.
Better to get a hamster than a dog. At least its life span is not that of 10+ years..so you'll be sharing custody for the next 10 years if things don't work out. Not fun.
The only people I know who think this way, are people who don't have kids. Anybody with kids will tell you, that having a dog and having a child are two completely different things. There is no comparison.
I like to think having a dog is like an entry level kid lol.
yes. A dog requires a lot of the same kind of attention, responsibility and care that a child would need. It's not the same as a child, but having a dog is like riding a bike with training wheels. However, i only recommend getting a dog if you are in a seriously committed relationship (engaged or soon to be engaged or married) and living together.
I think owing a dog together as a couple would give you a glimpse to see how both couple would interact, support, and take responsibility for their future child that they could have together but that's only what it is. A dog cannot replace a child and it definitely have more needs than a dog - physically, mentally, and emotionally.
I had a dog with my ex. Well he's still here. I'm actually living with my ex and our dog. We share the responsibility still. But when the lease is over for this apt, the dog will go to his house. If he is not able to take care of our dog then I will find a way to take care of him.
I do not think having a dog is like preparing for a child. A child is definitely on a totally different level.
It is not a bad idea to get the dog together with your significant other but make sure you know who will take care of the dog before anything happens.
*Laughing*
Future-parent training by the use of pets!!! This really makes me giggle.
My child is my pet
I don't have time for one more animal in my house!
I generally wouldn't go out and get a dog or something w/ my SO, just because it often ends up poorly. However, if I lived with my SO at some point, I'd love to get a kitten. Actually, 2 so when neither of us is home, it would have company. Then I guess we could divide them if things got sour. But, in terms of my current SO, if we ever did get a cat or something, I think he'd leave it to me if we broke up. I adore them more...
And his parents hate them.
Uh. In general I do think that raising an animal like a dog is a good 'prep' for children but it obvious isn't the same. lol
As for getting a dog in 'just a relationship'. Prolly not a good idea because no matter how much you guys think you're 'perfect' there's still a chance that you'd break up.
Before you make the commitment of getting an animal to raise together, maybe you should make the commitment to be together.
I think it's a good idea, but only if it benefits the dog too.
It should be clear from the start who will end up with the financial responsibility of owning the dog and will take ownership of the dog if the relationship ends.
As a veterinary technician, I have seen FAAAAAAAAAAAAR too many cases where animals are euthanized as a result of divorce or someone leaving the family.
If you're going to do it, do it right.
i also know of families that get a dog after all the kids grow up and leave the house. for company, i guess.
I would love getting a dog ( or cat ) with my SO , but not as a practice for children.
just as something to share together !
.. my parents always tell me that before they had me they said " if we can keep a dog alive for a year then we can have a kid" they got a dog and a year later I was born, the dog lived until it was 14. hah
I remember when I was really little, tamagotchi was my precursor to owning a dog. To think now that owning a dog is a precursor to having a kid just makes me laugh a little. Not that it is a bad idea, I just never thought of it that way.
I do not think it makes sense for some couples simply because some people just are not the dog owning type. But I suppose if you are seriously considering having children then it is a possibility. The you two just need to decide what kind of dog because it does actually make a difference.
no way, look at the shelters too many pets given up because people change their life style or move. Or the pet doesnt get enough attention. Pets are not disposable and neither are children.
@abcxunt@xanga - But then you'd be splitting the dogs up, which really isn't good for their emotional health.
uh is this after marriage or whenever? i truly feel that having a dog prior is not really enough to prepare a couple for a child. there's so much much more invovled with a human life rather than a pet. it does, though put things into perspective. having to wake up early and take care of them, realizing that they're not going away any time soon, giving it attention when you want to be left alone. dogs mature faster and they're able to handle things on their own much sooner. babies need a lot of attention, a lot of the time, for a much longer amount of time. and nothing can prepare a couple for dealing with social problems, or "growing pains." i think having a dog prior will only give a couple 3 % of what they need to know about raising a child.
Well, hey, it worked for the guy who wrote Marley and Me.
I wouldn't exactly call it practice... Just someone to share your life with that is less of a hassle than children are, when you're not yet ready.
My boyfriend and I got two cats instead - so when we're busy, they'll have each other to play with, as well. We don't have the time, money, or space to have a dog, unfortunately. (But yes, we do have the money to properly feed/litter/neuter/get shots for our cats. We wouldn't have them if we couldn't care for them fully.) Someday!
@NostalgicRelease - That's utterly horrible. I'm sorry you've had to witness such a thing. Nobody should adopt an animal, much less birth a child, if they know they can't take full care and responsibility for it for a very long time. A pet is a commitment and a relationship, not entertainment.
I know a lot of my friends who have gotten dogs with their significant others and they love them as if the dog were their child. Even though taking care of a dog is not on the same level as taking care of child, it is somewhat of "practice" for the couple cause it's taking care of another living being.
I really hope to get a dog one day with my significant other, I love pets!
I don't think it's EXACTLY the same, but yeah you get responsibilities out of it.