Sunday, 08 March 2009
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Are High School Sweethearts Unrealistic?
Back in the times of our parents, these existed, at least in some sense. More like...it was possible.You could find your special someone right there, sitting behind you in that Spanish class you didn't even want to take but had to because of graduation requirements...and you two could live happily ever after, going on to get married and start a family, getting jobs and the whole she-bang.
It used to be real, like it was for my parents. Then we have people who were high school sweethearts and had been married...decades. and then POOF, divorce. How can you share your life with someone for over twenty years and then just leave?
Nowadays, we have hindrances to this idea, like college, for instance. This huge, ominous figure that could potentially separate you from everyone you've ever known by miles. Everywhere I look, it's breaking up relationships, and those trying to fight the force could have an easier time [insert drastic hyperbole here].
Granted, it's always said that one shouldn't desert his or her dreams to follow the ones he/she loves. And I support this idea; why be unhappy there just to be with the one you love? What if you guys break up? What then? And you shouldn't have to alter your dreams for someone else. This is easily said, but not easily done. How do you just let your significant other just walk out of your everyday life to pursue his or her dreams and put miles of distance and heartache in the gap?
How do you vow to go your separate ways while not separating? Is the idea of a high school sweetheart unrealistic in today's society?
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- From: Opaque_Life@xanga
- About Me: I don't feel that a blog really needs a box like this. I reveal the very depths of my heart and soul into some of these entries, so this box would do me absolutely no justice. "To understand where i'm going, you need to know where i've been."
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Comments (299)
my high school sweetheart cheated on me in college.
I don't think that the idea of high school sweethearts is unrealistic in today's society, just much less common. I'm still dating my boyfriend from high school and I'm almost finished with my second year of college. We currently live about 150 miles from each other and maintain a healthy relationship that may one day evolve into marriage.
It's all about balance and moderation. I don't go out and constantly party (although that's partly because I've never been like that) and he doesn't constantly sit on his ass at home, pining for me. We've developed a system that works for us, allowing us to be separated without actually having to separate to live our lives the way we want to.
I would say it's a little unrealistic if you're doing college or university. Many people I know are very different by the time they graduate from post-secondary and if they had married someone from high school it would have been a very difficult marriage.
I think you should wait until your mid-20s to get married anyways because until then you are still deciding who you are and where you want to go in life. Making a long-term commitment before that happens just spells out disaster.
I don't think high school sweethearts is unrealistic, just rare. I mean it's definitely possible. I don't think there was ever a time when it was completely... not rare. I wish it was more common though. I always thought the idea of high school sweethearts was really cute :]
@AnonymousBlonde@xanga - Aww that's really sweet, and quite unheard of today. I'm happy for you two, and I wish you all the best
@laurenmaureen@xanga - Yea so do I, and I hope to be one of them, along with a few of my friends
@Opaque_Life@xanga - :] me too!
I have always taken the term 'high school sweethearts' to mean someone you met while in high school, even if they didn't necessarily go to your high school. So, if I'm using my own terminology, I married my high school sweetheart, but my husband didn't, since he graduated in 2001, and I graduated in 2005.
That being said, I don't think it's unrealistic, it just takes a bit more effort, and more compromise. I put off going to college for a year to get married, and move with my husband to his duty station after he joined the Air Force. That was a compromise on my part. However, neither of us stop the other from growing or changing. We've been married for 3 years, and are by no means the same people we were when we first got together. The thing is, we have grown and changed together.
I don't think it's impossible. The people just need to be able to grow with each other and need to be able to be mature enough to make adult decisions.
It's just harder now a days because kids are more impatient and immature then other generations.
hi bye
It's not impossible, it's just rare. With a strong bond, luck, and good timing, it can work.
@Opaque_Life@xanga - =) Thanks, that's sweet of you.
high school sweethearts occur with a ratio of 1 to 1 thousand..
i only have 1 friend that i know of that is STILL with the same girl from high school.
after high school everything is different, in australia you dont move away for college but its still different. you meet new people, the holiday between end of high school and beginning of college is so long that most people go away/holidays overseas and end up breaking up.
i personally don't believe in high school sweetheart but if other people can make it work!? good for them!
its too much work just to keep it going, i will not be bothered!
My boyfriend and I got together when we were both in our junior year of high school.
Now, I'm in my second year of college, so it's been over three years. The distance is really hard, but it's better than nothing.
As for forever? Who knows...
yes, they exist :)
mine lives in alaska, i live in mississippi, and we're happy (though much happier when together). it's wonderful.
It's rare, but it's still possible, I met my boyfriend when he was a senior and I was a sophomore. We're best friends and it's been almost a year of being "together". We're "courting". XD He plans on marrying me when he finishes college. ^^ Nothing will tear us apart because we have the same goals, and we base our relationship on faith, not lust.
@italktotrees@xanga - Whew that's quite a distance there dear, how long have you two been together?
It's not impossible, but it's just difficult.
I don't think it's unrealistic for everybody. There are still many people who get married to their high school sweetheart, and those same people end up being together forever. It really depends on what both people want. If one wants to go to college on the east coast, and the other on the west.. a problem could arise. But if they have the same ideals, they could easily stay together and not get separated. Many people even stay in a relationship (successfully) with a distance between them. My ideas aren't really dependent upon me going to college, and the parts that are - are easy to deal with. I can simply transfer colleges, simple as that, because most colleges have the simple classes I'm wanting to take.
I'm still dating my bf --we started dating in senior year of high school, and we're now juniors in college. We also go to schools on opposite sides of the country.
You're right in that college is not the time to decide you have to go to the same schools --try long distance, but it's just a really bad idea to go to a school you hate just to be with a sig. other at this point.
After college, you may have to compromise so as to be in the same area though. At that point, you'll have a slightly better sense of who you are and where you're going, so it'll be easier/better to make decisions then.
Any relationship can be tough; but there's no point in breaking up with a HS sweetheart just because everybody says they're unrealistic. Break up if the relationship isn't working, not because other people say it won't work.
my husband and i are high school sweethearts. :)
It's possible. And very cute.
Two of my friends met in high school, they were each other's (or maybe just the his?) first relationship. They were each other's first sexual partner, etc. I think (but can't remember for sure) that they went to the same college, pursued their dreams, and accomplished a lot. They are happily married and just celebrated their two childrens birthdays (1 & 2 years old). They have a beautiful life together, and it is amazing to see how in love they are.
No can do. I don't do LDRs.
It's by no means "fun", but it is do-able. I met my boyfriend when I was a Junior in high school and he was a Freshman (I think) in college. Now, I'm a Freshman in college and he is a Junior/Senior in college. I hate that I have to spend so much time away from him. But, if all we have to do is spend the next couple of years like this so that we can have several decades of happy and successful lives as a couple, then it is definitely worth it. We are both pursuing the careers we want so that we can have a better life together in the future. I know that if we married now (like some couples do), our relationship would probably fail. We need this time apart to form our own lives as individuals so that our lives together will be that much greater.
Again, it's not "fun" but it's doable.
I'm in that current conundrum. My boyfriend is off at college and I'm trying to choose mine. It's such a hard decision and everything is so complicated.
My friend also asked his girlfriend to marry him last year (he was a senior, she was a freshman in college) and they broke it off because he's an idiot. Otherwise, almost everyone I know have broken it off.
I agree with what a lot of what everyone else has said, its not common. But I think it is one of the most amazingly romantic ideas ever. I wish it were more possible and common. We have a longer lifespan, independence and opportunities. Probably why its not so common anymore.