Miss Double ShotA friend from college got married last summer, and she's loving it so far - "it's almost identical to dating," she said. "I'm living with my best friend instead of having to do daily phone calls and planned weekends". Sounds pretty good to me.
I feel like I'll never be completely prepared for marriage or what to expect therein, but I've daydreamed about it before. The idea of living with someone for the rest of your respective lives is a little daunting, sure, but if you pick the right one, it could end up to be a pretty phenomenal experience. I don't know that I think it'll be like dating - things definitely slow down, and that's to be expected - but I don't know that I'd want to date for the rest of my life, either. Being charming is exhausting.
I guess I'm looking forward to spending my life with someone who loves me for who I am and vice versa - none of the nonsense you have to go through with dating ("is he going to call? why didn't he call yet? does he like me? should I play hard to get?" etc.)...just love.
And yeah, I'll have to drive the kids to band practice and buy things like Sunny D instead of vodka tonics, but this is an all-inclusive package deal, not a live-like-a-23-year-old-forever situation. I'm okay with that.
Do you think marriage will be similar to dating, or is my friend still basking in newlywed bliss? If you've already tied the knot, is marriage what you'd thought it'd be or something completely different?
Comments (54)
hellish
I am scared to death of marriage. I am afraid that I will fall out of love one day and walk away. I always fall out of love at the drop of a pin.
i imagine it'd be like living with my best friend. i would enjoy it a lot. it's not all butterflies and rainbows, but i think i'd love it for the most part.
I don't ever want to get married.
I think marriage is like death.....
I'm blessed to be single....
I think being married will be the most wonderful period of stress I will ever go through.
But I don't know for sure. I'm not married.
I'm sure marriage is difficult, and stressful, and sometimes not all that fun, but that it's also beautiful, and full of love and happiness. It is the ultimate paradox.
im in a relationship that basically feels like a marriage already... just without the ring. actually we have rings, just not on my ring finger. when we bought the rings they thought we were getting married. we got money off of our gym membership because they assumed we were engaged...
we've lived together since i was 18... & just got a new apartment. but i would say that most people dating aren't like being in a marriage...
i can't wait, i think it will be amazing to say the vows and have it be known to the whole world how much we love eachother
For me and my SO, it seems like marriage will be the same as dating. Just instead we go home to the same place.
I don't believe in marriage.
When I single, I always picture the "perfect" marriage. The sparks, the cuddling, spending everyday with your best friend, etc. I never let my mind go beyond that.. that is, the obstacles we face in a marriage as a couple. Sure, there's disagreements here and there and maybe one or two heated arguments along the way, but that's life. I guess it just really depends how a person take it as and if that person or persons learn from it or not.
The first couple of months being married is good if not great. But if you never lived together before, well, you'll certainly have to adapt to living with another person and come to accept their annoying habits and all. (Yikes!)
Marriage is what it is but most importantly, what you make out of it. I don't think I came close to what I thought marriage would be at all. But eh, you experience and you learn.
I can't wait to get married, for many reasons...
and yet...
I'm terrified. Marriage is hard work, full of stress and disappointment and high expectations and failure...but I'm sure it's wonderful and fulfilling in many ways, too.
IT IS AMAZING!!!
I love being married, it's so much better than dating and so much different. The level of intimacy and the bond we share is just unbelievable. I don't know how to describe it except that I thank God everyday for giving me the most amazing man in the world.
It's hard and lots of work, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
What's the point of dating if marriage isn't the ultimate goal? Marriage is like dating, but without the stress of always trying to impress. More serious. But still, it feels the same. Except you live together. Yes, it slows down, but not in a bad way. Your relationship is still growing after marriage. It's beautiful.
Ideally? Yeah, I hope it'll be the same as serious dating. We'll be best friends, talk all the time, have our arguments but still love each other at the end of the day...And beyond that, we'll have even more to look forward to. We'll raise our children together, watch them go through that awkward teen phase, teach them to make good decisions and respect themselves. And when they start their own family, I'll still have my guy, he'll still have me, and we'll still love each other as much as we did when we first got married.
Haaaaa. Too much hopeless romantic-ness! =]
My ultimate goal in life is to be the wife to my incredible boyfriend, and luckily, he shares the same dream (well, except to be a husband to me).
I'm excited about everything - and we talk about it all the time. We're excited about all the pointless fights, waking up together every morning, dealing with in-laws, getting the kids to school on time, we're saving ourselves for marriage so that's definitely something to be excited about.
Plus, he's going to be away for most of the next two and a half years in Alaska and Afghanistan, so the thought of him being HERE everyday is just the best thought ever.
I know it's not all a bowl of cherries, but it's what we both want more than anything else.
If you choose the right person, marriage IS like living with your best friend.
I thought it wouldn't be, I thought, yeah, it'll be awesome for the first couple of months, but then it'll grow to be routine. It didn't.
I'm 22 and have been married for 3 years, and I still get butterflies when I drive home from work because I know I'll be seeing him. We still go on dates, our sex life hasn't faltered; everything is the same as it was when we were dating, except that I get to see him everyday. I know that even if we are booked completely for a day, we will still meet up in bed for a kiss, and a wish goodnight.
For those of you who are scared of marriage, you have no reason to be. I did not loose any of my independence by getting married; I actually gained a lot. My husband supports me in anything I do, and just wants me to be happy. I have a year and a half left before I get my Bachelor's, and then I plan on continuing on to my Master's. He is nothing but supportive and helps quiz me when I need him.
If you choose right, marriage can be incredibly fulfilling, very loving, and one of the best decisions you ever make. My parents had a wonderful marriage, and I'm blessed to so far have the same.
"(...)and buy things like Sunny D instead of vodka tonics(...)"
Haha, I love that. But when I have kids, I will buy Sunny D AND rum/whiskey (I will never ever drink vodka again.)
My marriage, it'll be just like how it was when we're living together, except then we'll have a marriage license, have some benefits in somewhat ways, and an ring on my finger. Other than that, it'll probably just stay the same. We, or at least I, will have that butterfly feelings when I get home, get really excited to do something together, still go on dates but will just go back to "our" house instead.
Until we have kids. Then our dates will be at McDonald's, Burger King, Carl's jr, etc. But it'll still be awesome, I won't be the only fatty and messy kid there. Haha!
I'm afraid to get married. spend the rest of my life with one man?! no thanks.
lol I just joking... but I seriously do think you have to really plan it out with your partner... marriage is def. not a spur of the moment type of thing. I mean it's FOREVER. and people do not get that... which means there are so many divorces because people jump into a marriage like it's just a relationship. It's ridiculous nowadays.
But anyways if I find the right guy... (that's a huge if!) then marriage could be in the picture... until then I'm not too worried. I'm still young...
i don't see a point in getting married except the paperwork is much easier than when you're just dating and live together LOL
it might be worth it for the lack of red tape with taxes/medical stuff/etc. but engagements and weddings are such a damn hassle, blech >_<
pretty sure that i will end up marrying my best friend.
and if that's the case, my life will still be fighting with foam swords in the middle of walmart, punching him after he farts on me, playing Resident Evil on wii until the wee hours of the morning, throwing quarters at each other from across the room, pillow fights, real fights sometimes...
exactly as it is now....
and i'm okay with that....
It definitely would be different than dating. But it's the commitment and the undying love. The compromise. The stress. The menial tasks. I look forward to every moment from laundry and dishes to raising kids. Definitely gonna marry my best friend. We've already left the honeymooners bliss, but still have our times of "butterflies" along with arguing. It's a balance of ups and downs.
foreverrrrr..
idk and i don't want to find out
I have no interest in getting married. I don't even want a dating relationship right now. And I'm happy with that. Dating was too much stress and killed a really good friendship I had with the girl.
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde.