Thursday, 05 March 2009
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I Want to Make Out With My Best Friend's Boyfriend - Is That Wrong?
*Disclaimer - Title should be read in your best Daria Morgendorffer voice. Thank you.*
My friend Rebecca came back to university from Christmas break with a boyfriend. So naturally, I stalked him on Facebook. He is the hottest guy I have ever seen in my entire life. Rebecca and I apparently have the same taste in men, which I guess would be cool if it weren't so awkward this time. Her SO, Luke, is tall, athletic, blondish, well-cultured but still all-American and able to hold his liquor...all qualities that I find ultimately desirable. So naturally I began to hate Rebecca for her luck and wish for a late-in-the-game coming out of the closet by Luke. I'm just saying...
So he comes to visit last weekend and because my residence hall does not allow female students to host male guests, technically, Luke is my guest. So every time they would come back from their date, I'd have to go down and get him. So, Friday night, I get a call from Rebecca at 2 a.m. asking me to come down and get him. So I go, and let me tell you: as hot as Luke is in his pictures, he is about ten times hotter in person. Like I was completely bowled over by this guy.
That night I had the weirdest dream. See, Rebecca has a habit of drunkenly making out with people (the bartender, other female friends of ours) when we go out. So I had a dream that the three of us were out and Rebecca drunkenly told me and her boyfriend to start making out. He said that he was too drunk to care that he's about to make out with a guy. But I said, hell no! even though I really wanted to. I told Rebecca that it would be really weird and it may sound like a good idea at the time, but the next day, she might resent me for it and I'd feel guilty.
I wake up both terrified it that might happen and also hoping it does.
And that's why I feel guilty right now. I'm lusting after my best friend's boyfriend! I mean, I wish I could say that it was just a dream, but honestly, on Saturday night when I was out drinking with them, it was all I could do to stop myself from jumping across the table and...you know... And it isn't just that he's gorgeous. He's a really good guy. He treats Rebecca really well and he's so romantic. But, alas, I cannot have him and must stop myself from wishing I could.
Did I kiss him that night? No. Did I have some murderous thoughts towards my friend? Umm, maybe... Did I act on these impulses? No. Should I feel guilty? Well, I don't know.
Should someone feel guilty for wanting to make out with a friend's SO? Have you ever crushed on your best friend's boyfriend/girlfriend?
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Comments (46)
i want a picture.
I don't see why you should feel guilty so long as you don't act on it. It's not like you can really chose who you find hot or not.
Personally, it's never happened to me. :)
yeah....completely. I remember I actually gave up my crushon a guy I likes because my best friend liked him and I didnt feel I had a chance so I just gave her the freebie and all... I remember wishing that I hadn't because he was sooooo awesome and generousas and awesome. It made me really angry but alas... it was not meant to be.
I don't think you should feel guilty about it, really, so long as you don't actually act on the impulse. I mean really, what is there to feel guilty about? You haven't done anything wrong, and your ideas are staying in your mind rather than becoming a reality.
I accidentally made out with my roommate's boyfriend once. We were drunk and it wasn't really that big of a deal...
If you're worried about temptation though, you should definitely try to avoid being alone with him.
xo
My friends and I have different taste in who we date and who we'd want as an SO. Don't feel guilty, but just be careful. The fact that you're holding yourself from acting on impulse shows a great deal of self-control since you find yourself attracted to your best friend's SO. But like I said, be careful with what you do and keep going with your self-control.
@abcxunt@xanga - me too. I need to see it to believe it.
all my best friends are guys and i'm straight so i don't lust after their SOs =P
Nope.
Picture, please?
It's not wrong until you act on it.
As long as you don't do anything about it, you're probably in the clear. Plus, it's not as if you're going to tear them apart and force the guy to start loving you. You'll find someone, and I'm sure the right person for you will seem 10 times hotter than anyone you've ever seen.
Uh, I think it's normal to lust after someone's or anyone's boyfriend. We're human after all. We're not perfect. As long as you don't act on it and respect their relationship. She is your friend after all and let me tell you, no man is worth a friendship. Let him be your eye candy and let's keep it that way.
If you were in your friend's shoes, I'm sure you wouldn't like it either if your so called "friend" secretly wanted to make a move on YOUR boyfriend and possibly, destroy your relationship with your boyfriend along with your relationship with each other as well.
There's plenty of fishes in the sea. Fish for one that hasn't gotten hooked yet.
But to answer your question:
No, I have never crush on my friends boyfriends. Thank god we all have different type in men. Whew!
I never had crushes on my friends' boyfriends nor lusted for them. All of my good friends have completely different tastes than I do in men. They usually criticize the guys that I like, haha.
I haven’t crushed on my friend’s boyfriends... yet... they all have bad taste in men. lol
I lust after my exes' girlfriend(he and I are roommates and good friends). I tell him all the time that if he breaks up with her, I'm taking her. I also tell him that if she comes over while he's gone, I'm banging her. It's all in good fun... However I'm not kidding. She's beatuiful... and although I love my boyfriend, I'd beg him on my knees for a night with her.
I think that the large majority have done it... it's life.
Just don't act on it.
Having naughty thoughts are one thing but actually acting on those thoughts would be a disgrace to your own moral character. Sometimes you may be really pissed off and want to just kill that person who seriously offended you but you don't actually act on it right? I guess that invisible line preventing us from our urges is the key factor distinguishing a crazy person from a sane person....
Just go for it. It's survival of the fittest. If he ditches her for you, then you're clearly the superior specimen. If you fail, then at least you tried.
@coolmonkey@xanga - Some people, whether subconsciously or not, find much use in their 'best friends'. Even if you did apply your 'survival of the fittest' way of life; picking a fight with your best friend by competing for mates is the most poor choice anyone can make, especially if they consider their social status among their friends. Taking a risk to go for the guy might not even reward her with him, and then she'd be left with nothing. There is a very minute chance of survival, in this case. -_-;
Anyways, my friends either have bad tastes, or I grow an interest for their exes. :S
Yes it is, because wanting someone that you can't have and your best friend does will only cause you to resent her over time. You will start to hate her for having him, and then hate her for other things that aren't her fault either. You are better off forgetting this guy asap so that you don't ruin a friendship.
And I guess I am the only one that doesn't see it as a "normal" thing to "stalk" my friends boyfriend on facebook. That is kind of creepy, sorry just how I feel.
that really sucks. you have a strong will then if he's really that gorgeous. gg
dont feel bad, nothing happened. youre good.
now keep it up. xD
No, no...the hottest man alive is dating a girl named Kimberly. And that's all I've got to say about THAT.
On another note, I like my cousin's (who is practically like my sister and one of my closest friends) boyfriend...only this falls into more than one problem. She is 15...he is 18...I am 23. BIG PROBLEM. Not only does her relationship with me make this all feel awkward and wrong, but so does the age difference! BAD BAD BAD. I do feel bad, but as others have stated, no one can control who they like, they can only control whether they act on it or not. Like, I'm not even gonna tell her or him I like him because it will make him whatever, and her suspicious...but still. I wouldn't do anything with him because I love her so much. And I know you won't do anything with dude because you care about her and her friendship. Don't be so hard on yourself...you are human.
Well that's just your conscious playing games with your mind. I guess you don't really have to feel guilty until you actually do go and kiss your best friend's boyfriend.
For me, my best friend and I never share the same taste in men, well we do, in celebrities, otherwise, no. Thank goodness